Do Men Suck At Friendship?

Post by deodorel » Wed, Apr 23, 2014, 8:27 AM UTC

faster wrote: post #87

te_chris wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anecdotally, I've noticed this when I'm in America. Everyone is normally outwardly very friendly, but there's always the feeling that they don't give a shit about the encounter you're having and they're only even talking to you out of some perverse sense of politeness. It was even more strange for me because often our conversations would be relatively honest and about somewhat personal topics (not just the weather, w…

As an American living in France, one difference that I really notice is politeness. In the US, people are casually friendly, but not always polite. In France, politeness manifests as respectful words and actions, consistently. It doesn't hurt that formal politeness is part of the French culture. It's 'hi, how are you?' vs 'good day, sir', because most of the time the 'how are you' is not really a question, but an exp…

Post by mverwijs » Wed, Apr 23, 2014, 8:31 AM UTC

Xcelerate wrote: post #78

> That's because nearly all research into healthy aging has found that the key to a long, happy life is not diet or exercise but strong social connections – that is, friendships. Loneliness accelerates age-related declines in cognition and motor function, while a single good friend has been shown to make as much as a 10-year difference in overall life expectancy. This makes me sad :( My mother passed away from cancer…

Post by zethraeus » Wed, Apr 23, 2014, 8:34 AM UTC

meric wrote: post #98

interpol_p wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The author explicitly acknowledges that the traditional "girly" friendship may not be the optimal. And implies that male friendships can be deeper than shared activities without turning into such relationships: > At the same time, a wave of feminist sociologists and psychologists began describing female friendship, with all its confessional talk, as the optimal model. > Many feminist thinkers now see those views as o…

I'm uncomfortable with the idea that feminist thinkers should be an authority on male friendships, since by definition feminist thinkers think from the point of women, and here we are discussing friendships between men. I've a couple of female "friends"[1], and generally when talking to them I often feel all they're doing is telling me how right I am to feel in such and such way, frequently highlighting the differenc…

Post by mcmullen » Wed, Apr 23, 2014, 8:35 AM UTC

adwn wrote: post #97

colechristensen wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Speaking of cringing, the adjective you're looking for is 'American'.

I wonder when "America" ceased to mean "the two continents North and South America" and started to mean "USA" in the heads of US citizens. There's a reason why "European" isn't synonymous to "German", and why "Asian" isn't synonymous to "Chinese".

Post by andyjohnson0 » Wed, Apr 23, 2014, 8:37 AM UTC

srean wrote: post #106

wikiburner wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would get him a dog. I would also set him up on Skype so that you and your sister can interact with him in a personable way more often.

This is actually a great suggestion. If you are a dog person it can bring a lot of joy, amusement and companionship. The thing that sucks though is that they very short lives. My lhasa apso did live to be 17 years, but this is unusual for most other dog breeds. About loneliness and losing people dear, my brother's friend's dad lost his parents, wife and son all at an unusually early age. I would have no idea how to d…