131–140 of 166 posts
I often select text in articles as a visual cue which line I'm reading. Why oh why does this site needs to pop up a "share" widget when selecting text? Websites are really popping these "share" things all over the place lately.
Voluntary loneliness, on the contrary, is beneficial, at least, to some yogis and Himalayan saints.)
With regard to the latter, it's one of the fundamental insights of human life to, at some point, realize that you've always been and you always will be alone on this planet. There's only one you that is unique and nobody, I say nobody at all, will somehow match you perfectly, or make you fullfilled, or complement you essentially somehow. The only thing you can rely on is to always have your own company so it's better to learn to be friends with yourself.
But being lonely is another thing. Human beings aren't meant to be lonely. Heck, even most animals aren't meant to be that way. The worst kind of loneliness is the one that you experience among a group of people you call your friends. The loneliness may not be obvious until you find the first person who really becomes your friend.
As for "combatting loneliness", I suggest don't. In the worst case you're not only lonely but you're lonely and failing your social goals. Learn to live with loneliness, if not for anything else but for the sake of if you ever must. When you're content, perhaps not entirely happy, but content with loneliness then it's much easier to approach people and make social contacts. That is because you have nothing to lose and you know you'll be just fine even if it doesn't work out. Starting from this context prevents you, out of desperation, from selling your soul for the company of people who don't make you feel good.
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I know what you mean. A friend of mine was saying he was heavily into the party scene in the years before he met his now fiancée. He said meeting her earlier would have saved him years of going out to clubs for the sake of not feeling lonely. And of course a lot of use feel like it is easier to meet someone when we don't have our walls up. But most connections made at a club are superficial at best like you said.
So what's a good solution to shortening the time it takes to meet one's fiancée?
As a recent college-grad who'd moved to suburbia, I think the automobile-centric culture in America is what is killing intimacy. If you were not able to make close friends in college/early-life, than once you live on your own in the suburbs, it often feels impossible to get any sense of intimacy. Intimacy is built up with small moments, and when every interaction has to be a commute-laden ordeal, you lose the opportu…
Ideally suburbia should become a thing of the past (and it might, with rising energy prices). But for now I'd say the best thing you could do is move back to the (inner) city (or back to uni for a post-grad).
It may be a hassle but being unhappy is a drain as well.
I can also highly recommend most European/UK cities, as their cores are where people actually live and thrive, rather than that odd mix of blitz corporate office guests and sniffling economic outcasts.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I know what you mean. A friend of mine was saying he was heavily into the party scene in the years before he met his now fiancée. He said meeting her earlier would have saved him years of going out to clubs for the sake of not feeling lonely. And of course a lot of use feel like it is easier to meet someone when we don't have our walls up. But most connections made at a club are superficial at best like you said.
So what's a good solution to shortening the time it takes to meet one's fiancée?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I know what you mean. A friend of mine was saying he was heavily into the party scene in the years before he met his now fiancée. He said meeting her earlier would have saved him years of going out to clubs for the sake of not feeling lonely. And of course a lot of use feel like it is easier to meet someone when we don't have our walls up. But most connections made at a club are superficial at best like you said.
So what's a good solution to shortening the time it takes to meet one's fiancée?
> At one point, the psychologists thought of designing a mobile app, a sort of electronic nagging mother, to help people break bad social habits. (You’d check an item off the list, say, if you remembered to talk to anyone that day—a store clerk or a librarian.) But they didn’t get funding for the software, so now they’re focusing on a simpler and more low-tech fix. This mobile app sounds like something that would be…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
So what's a good solution to shortening the time it takes to meet one's fiancée?
99% of mainstream dating advice is hogwash. Learn the truth about women. Start reading: http://dalrock.wordpress.com/ http://heartiste.wordpress.com/ The best dating advice is concentrated on men who are players or aspire to be. But the skills to seduce a fling and a future wife are very similar. If you want to catch a great woman, you must have the skills to catch any woman.
Stick to fishing... it's not 1973 anymore!
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So what's a good solution to shortening the time it takes to meet one's fiancée?
Do things. Do things that bring you into contact with other people: namely, working with colleagues , rather than customers. (So a soup kitchen counts, but being a solo consultant doesn't.) When they invite you out for doing stuff, join in. You can back out the second time if you don't enjoy it. Get to know as many of them as you can. Share your interests; listen to theirs. You'll run into someone interested in you s…