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I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

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Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#131

PLEASE GET PROFESSIONAL HELP FROM ANOTHER DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY. Here's the framework I see; recent startup founder + therapy for seven years + abused as a child + ten pills per day. This alone screams for professional help. I don't think that a fellow entrepreneur can help solve all of your problems. There's also the danger of making it worst because of not having any training on how to deal with your framework. Now to…

Wow! You're doing exactly what you seem to know on some level is bad: you're giving him lots of very specific advice without having any basis for doing so. Apologies for any harshness but I want to answer you strongly. 1. It's very possible that leaving his current therapist in order to "pivot" is a terrible idea. He should talk to his current therapist about his feelings that therapy isn't work, and consider talking…

He shouldn't leave his current therapist, just look for a new one if the current one isn't helping. He should only leave once he has found someone else who can do a better job.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#132
post #128

The best medicine for depression is to imagine you were not depressed, think of what you would do, then do it. Even if it doesn't feel quite right, keep moving. It is not always easy, but it is always the best way to move forward. Depression is a dangerous cycle. Therapy can be helpful, but it can also be debilitating by causing you to identify with your depression. The best thing a therapist can do is to push you to…

(I am not a doctor, this is not medical advice.)

Depression is not one illness with one cause and one method of treatment.

Our knowledge of mental illness is pretty poor.

Since depression can be a fatal illness (and even when not fatal it can be debilitating and lead to awful life outcomes) we need to be careful when offering advice.

> The best medicine for depression is to imagine you were not depressed, think of what you would do, then do it. Even if it doesn't feel quite right, keep moving.

I say this as politely and gently as I can: this is terrible advice for many people. I'm not suggesting that people with depression should be cocooned and protected from everything; that's often harmful. But we need to remember that many people with depression have distorted thinking, and thus asking them to focus on what they would be like if they didn't have depression could cause them very great harm.

> Therapy can be helpful, but it can also be debilitating by causing you to identify with your depression.

I agree that some therapies are terrible. Non-specific counselling is usually awful and does nothing to help, and can make things worse. But some therapy really does work for some people, effectively curing them or giving them techniques to deal with the illness when it strikes.

Notably, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy has good evidence for its effectiveness.

We're still muddling along with pharmacology - there are a raft of different SSRIs / SNRIs / NASAs / etc, and then tricyclics, and then MAOIs. There's some evidence of effectiveness, many people report remarkable changes. But still, we don't know how these meds work, and we don't know how to find better meds.

And some people will not find relief even with good therapy provided by skilled therapists, or with medication, and so they might try one of the more extreme treatments. ECT is still used. It's very different now from the portrayals in popular media (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest is set in 1963) - people are sedated and it's used much less often. I've met a few people who've had it. Some of them loved it and welcomed it, and were keen for the treatment to continue. Others didn't like it, and opted out of further treatments.

If you have depression, and you find something that works for you, that's great. And it's great that you share that information with other people. But please put disclaimers on it. "This is something I tried. I think it worked for me." And please don't make declarations of efficacy unless you have decent research to back it up.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#133

I want to write something about my depression. I don't have a chemical imbalance and am not on medication. I basically self medicate with beer, probably too often. I've battled depression since my mid teens, going on this long crusade to be "successful" (whatever that means), trying to meet girls, working odd jobs that weren't in line with my degree, sort of living an antiauthoritarian hacker lifestyle that might sou…

Thanks for this. One thing that I noticed in my life, is that like you I have set certain things on a pedestal saying "if only..." then I would be happy. Sometimes those things come true, and you realize that really didn't change anything all. If you made alien contact tomorrow it would be a dream come true and alter your entire perception of the Universe, but would you really be any happier?

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#135
post #106

Depression is caused by so many different things for different people. I don't know you or your situation, but here's what really helped me finally leave years and years of on/off depression: - Are you getting enough sunlight? - Are you exercising? - Do you live in an extremely stressful environment / city? - Do you live near greenery and vegetation or a cold concrete jungle? - When was the last time you took a vacat…

Some missing sunlight can be replaced by artificial vitamin D. I sometimes felt depressed in winter, and taking about 4000 IUs daily has completely done away with that, without going outside more often.

tubbo, you appear to be hellbanned, fyi.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#137

I want to write something about my depression. I don't have a chemical imbalance and am not on medication. I basically self medicate with beer, probably too often. I've battled depression since my mid teens, going on this long crusade to be "successful" (whatever that means), trying to meet girls, working odd jobs that weren't in line with my degree, sort of living an antiauthoritarian hacker lifestyle that might sou…

> There's just you, interacting with this strange reality that is both insubstantial and more clever than you could ever conceive of.

Beautiful, raw words. You have touched something bigger than yourself, that could swallow you whole but doesn't. You have perhaps touched the face of God.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#139

PLEASE GET PROFESSIONAL HELP FROM ANOTHER DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY. Here's the framework I see; recent startup founder + therapy for seven years + abused as a child + ten pills per day. This alone screams for professional help. I don't think that a fellow entrepreneur can help solve all of your problems. There's also the danger of making it worst because of not having any training on how to deal with your framework. Now to…

Agree with paragraph 1. Skip psychologists, go for a psychiatrist.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#140
post #57

Travel. Leave your smartphone and laptop at home. Take your friend with you and go. There is a lot of good places on Earth and this is important to choose the right one to visit, so choose wisely. Don't go to safari or similar shitty entrtnmnt for rich guys. Don't buy a tour with all the trash included. Move on your own. Stay in the plain hotels. Taste the local food. Visit the monasteries and museums. Talk to people…

"P.S. Maybe this will be a good opportunity for You to quit taking meds You mentioned?" Suddenly quitting any/all meds for a physical condition without a doctor's advice is probably not the best idea.

True, my bad. btw i mentioned monasteries not as just a sightseeing. Who knows...
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