So many broken children living in grown bodies mimicking adult lives.
When do we become adults, really?
131–140 of 153 posts
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#132[dead]
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#133Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm not sure you're aware, but this is a very American view of things. A very skewed one. Quite a childish one too. Bit of irony there. There is a guaranteed pension where I live, it's part of the social contract [1]. And healthcare insurance is much more expensive than public healthcare (both for society and the individual). [1] https://www.etk.fi/en/finnish-pension-system/pensions/nation... Good luck living in your…
> Quite a childish one too. Self-reliance is adultish, not childish.
Expecting that everyone in society should be self-reliant, and that resources should not be managed socially is naive. It's a maximally inefficient and cruel way to organize society.
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#134You don't.
There are more consequences to your actions as you age, but you will never feel like are are the person your parents were when you were a kid.
Because it was a projection. Seeing my coworkers interacting with their kids and seeing them interact with other adults made it abundantly clear: there are no adults in the room, we are all just muddeling through life and sometimes we do it more or less successful than others.
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#135Earlier quoted context omitted.
I draw the line at the point when someone has a stable job that allows them to pay rent. I've seen people who basically had "two youths" and they were generally unhappy.
I’m interested in your experience. I injected a “second youth” into my life when I was around 30. I found myself having saved an incredible amount and as my above post implied I had my nose to the grindstone from 16-30. I spent a few years traveling the country, learned guitar and piano, went to massage school, produced music, had some brief affairs, worked at a beeswax candle factory, bartended, partied with drugs f…
By my definition you didn't have the first one.
Anyway, one instance:
-Graduated law school, but didn't go through the bar exam.
-Spent seven years working part time and being part of a theatre group.
-Left that in his 30s in favour of entering the workforce for real, moved abroad and had a full time job for 4 years.
-Left that job, moved back to his home country and has been coasting doing part time jobs ever since.
Plenty of people with similar stories - some of them were shaped by the 2008 economic crisis, which made several European countries enter a period of stagnation that continues to this day.
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#136We generally don't. The only real delineation between an "adult" and a "child" lies along acceptance of reality. Many people refuse to do this at various life stages for various things. But this one factor is what determines the difference. It's a skill worth pursuing.
Life constantly throws new things at us and we can easily come to a point where we no longer truly want to face some of its realities and we distract and dodge.
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#137Unfortunately, Ive given up in my case:
- turning 45 this year, still feeling like 34/35 (the back pain is only because of too less sports currently)
My Ex always said: Im still on that day when i picked up my Master Testimonial at university back then.
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#138I always felt slightly more adult as I got older but I didn't really feel it until after my daughter was born. Then the weight of real responsibility hits and your perspective changes. It's one of those things that you need to experience to understand. I see a lot of comments saying similar. It's almost like we should have 3 stages instead of child -> adult. Someone else responsible for you -> Responsible for yoursel…
>adolescence extends to much older than 18 or even 22 years Adolescence extends to a few years past when you start being treated like an adult, for some it can be extended almost indefinitely. People increasingly want to delay being treated like an adult until after a person has reached the full maturity of an adult not realizing those two things are linked. The transition of this happening too early or too late lead…
Agree, I was looking more for a new definition. I suppose "young adult" is the proper term and I'm defining something that already exists. Adolescent is really still a child.
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#139Earlier quoted context omitted.
>adolescence extends to much older than 18 or even 22 years Adolescence extends to a few years past when you start being treated like an adult, for some it can be extended almost indefinitely. People increasingly want to delay being treated like an adult until after a person has reached the full maturity of an adult not realizing those two things are linked. The transition of this happening too early or too late lead…
Agree, I was looking more for a new definition. I suppose "young adult" is the proper term and I'm defining something that already exists. Adolescent is really still a child.
>Adolescent is really still a child.
"Adolescent" is a straight pull from Latin it's literal meaning means being in the process of growing up and maturing. Adolescent is not still a child, adolescent is a child recognized as being an in-progress-to-adulthood.
"Adolescent" 25 year olds is the problem, 25 year olds still in the process of becoming adults because of progressive infantilization where parents seeing their children aren't adults are delaying further and further treating their children like they're becoming adults ... is the problem.
You're looking for a new definition but you shouldn't be.
Maybe we shouldn't send our 13 year olds out into the wilderness for a week with only a knife and a water bottle like many societies have done... but maybe our 26 year olds need to be embarrassed when they can't take care of themselves or be responsible for their own decisions.
The process of lengthening childhood into the mid 20s is the problem and new definitions isn't the solution.
Re: When do we become adults, really?
#140Earlier quoted context omitted.
Agree, I was looking more for a new definition. I suppose "young adult" is the proper term and I'm defining something that already exists. Adolescent is really still a child.
>Adolescent is really still a child. "Adolescent" is a straight pull from Latin it's literal meaning means being in the process of growing up and maturing. Adolescent is not still a child, adolescent is a child recognized as being an in-progress-to-adulthood. "Adolescent" 25 year olds is the problem, 25 year olds still in the process of becoming adults because of progressive infantilization where parents seeing their…
Well people used to get married and have kids at like 13. We live longer therefore we extend it. Honestly I think you're focusing on the word not the point of my comment though.