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The three year myth

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Re: The three year myth

#131

Post by ferroman »

jtrn wrote: post #96
cardanome wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The OCD mention functions similarly and it explains the overanalysis as a feature, not something that might be creating friction with colleagues. Because it is both and this is a very classic problem for neurodivergent people. As a ADHD person I could very much relate. My pattern recognition allows me to see connections and structure where neurotypical people only see chaos. I am often three, four, five steps ahead…

I'd push back gently on 'just shut up' as the solution. In my experience, people like you are usually CORRECT about the problem, and the anger and annoyance is well funded. It can be annoyance with the bad architecture, the wasteful meetings, the dysfunctional team dynamics. But you are falling into the same pattern as the author... Where it breaks down is treating 'being right' as the end of the job. Figuring out ho…

> Figuring out how to get others to see what you see but this is exactly the point of article: event if you make them see, they just pretend they don't because it's not in their personal immediate interest to admit you are right or you were right (later)

Re: The three year myth

#132

Post by bigstrat2003 »

K0balt wrote: post #116
jtbayly wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I challenge you to think about the implications of if you were right. If employment is violence, we should end it. But then almost everybody would die. If paying for labor is violence, paying for a product is violence. Nobody should be allowed to buy or sell (or trade). But then everybody would die. In a good economic transaction, whether purchase of product or labor, both parties end up happy with what they got out…

I’m not saying that violence is bad. Farming is violence. Mining is violence. It’s a compromise we make. But ending a session of it shouldn’t be traumatic. And yes, in many cases it’s a win/win. Without farming, many animals would have been hunted to extinction. Instead, they are amongst the most numerous on the planet, but that isn’t much consolation for the march to the slaughterhouse. Sacrifices are made. Compromi…

> Farming is violence. Mining is violence.

That's only true if you use a definition of "violence" which is so far outside the accepted definition as to make conversation impossible. Farming and mining are in no way violence unless you resort to idiosyncratic definitions.

Re: The three year myth

#133

Post by bigstrat2003 »

locknitpicker wrote: post #80
K0balt wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. It’s not a stable situation, and there is no social aspect in reality. It’s an accounting decision. Employment is almost always exploitation on one side or the other, with the best case being mutual exploitation. Employment inherently involves paying less for your work than it is worth. In an ideal situa…

> If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. This is a rather clueless and ignorant opinion to have. Your job is what pays your mortgage/rent and your bills, and it's a key factor in where you chose to live. Your job has a fundamental impact in your personal life and your family's experience. Once you are fired, odds are your life will change rad…

No, he's right. One should not pin their happiness to things outside their control. If losing your job is traumatic to you, that is a sign you need to work on improving your detachment from outside factors. Obviously we all have bills to pay and would like to keep a roof over our heads, but being traumatized by losing a job is an extremely unhealthy (and abnormal) response.

Re: The three year myth

#134

Post by lunar-whitey »

jtrn wrote: post #125
cardanome wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh I am sorry for highlighting one of the side effects of my crippling disability. I did not even present it as an advantage but as something that causes feelings of isolation but I guess I am bragging about it and need more humility. My brain's filtering function is defect. Where neurotypical people see one or two possible solution my brain automatically comes up with ten which is great for creativity but also paral…

Neither ADHD nor OCD have anything to do with communication style, 'being five steps ahead,' or patterns of interpersonal friction. The only symptom that remotely fits here is impulsive speech, and that's sporadic, it doesn't produce a consistent pattern of seeing yourself as above your colleagues, and its not related to the content style of the speech. This is something i see allot of. People project what they want…

> And there is another diagnosis that is blindingly obvious but i wont name it out here.

I wonder why a self identified mental health professional would go to such lengths to deny the viewpoint many of autistic people, who frequently report that the truth of what they say matters far less to organizations than the manner in which they say it.

Re: The three year myth

#135

Post by K0balt »

bigstrat2003 wrote: post #132
K0balt wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m not saying that violence is bad. Farming is violence. Mining is violence. It’s a compromise we make. But ending a session of it shouldn’t be traumatic. And yes, in many cases it’s a win/win. Without farming, many animals would have been hunted to extinction. Instead, they are amongst the most numerous on the planet, but that isn’t much consolation for the march to the slaughterhouse. Sacrifices are made. Compromi…

> Farming is violence. Mining is violence. That's only true if you use a definition of "violence" which is so far outside the accepted definition as to make conversation impossible. Farming and mining are in no way violence unless you resort to idiosyncratic definitions.

I guess if you limit “violence” to violence against humans only? I’ve always thought that violence was applicable to animals and plants as well, so I guess we differ there.

Intentional harm that causes death is firmly in the violence category, imho.

the use of physical force so as to injure, abuse, damage, or destroy is pretty much the accepted definition, afaik

I’m not thinking of violence as some kind of universal bad thing though, it’s part of the natural world.

Re: The three year myth

#136

Post by roarcher »

K0balt wrote: post #46
JackFr wrote: post #40

Losing your job sucks. Typically, there is no silver lining. I’ve been laid off 2x and those were both among the worst experiences of my life. > rawness is an excellent time to reflect on what went right and what I could've done better, before the brain starts coping with the trauma of the event in question. But that isn’t what he’s done in the essay. I don’t think he’s doing an honest assessment of what he could hav…

If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. It’s not a stable situation, and there is no social aspect in reality. It’s an accounting decision. Employment is almost always exploitation on one side or the other, with the best case being mutual exploitation. Employment inherently involves paying less for your work than it is worth. In an ideal situa…

> If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general.

Should I also review my relationship with my need to eat and have a roof over my head?

Re: The three year myth

#137

Post by cardanome »

jtrn wrote: post #125
cardanome wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh I am sorry for highlighting one of the side effects of my crippling disability. I did not even present it as an advantage but as something that causes feelings of isolation but I guess I am bragging about it and need more humility. My brain's filtering function is defect. Where neurotypical people see one or two possible solution my brain automatically comes up with ten which is great for creativity but also paral…

Neither ADHD nor OCD have anything to do with communication style, 'being five steps ahead,' or patterns of interpersonal friction. The only symptom that remotely fits here is impulsive speech, and that's sporadic, it doesn't produce a consistent pattern of seeing yourself as above your colleagues, and its not related to the content style of the speech. This is something i see allot of. People project what they want…

For the benefit of anyone else reading these comments:

I have decided against replying to this.

Reading further comments from this person like

> And focusing on systemic injustice is a destructive patterns I've seen in both the clinic and in the workplace.

https://news.ycombinator.com/reply?id=47014937&goto=threads%...

Makes it clear there there is an ideological motivation here and nothing productive to be gained.

I will just state: I do have an ADHD diagnosis. Also this person clearly does not understand ADHD despite claiming to be a health care professional.

Re: The three year myth

#138

Post by golly_ned »

strangescript wrote: post #59

If your co-workers are getting promotions and raises and you are not, its a you problem. If someone else is getting credit for your work, its a you problem. Given your claims of impeccable work, we are only left to assume its a personality issue. Its not to say its fair or right, but life is a popularity contest, whether we like it or not. More likeable people get more things, sometimes undeservingly so.

It’s not true that if someone else is getting credit for your work, that’s a you problem.

At my workplace now, there’s a senior staff engineer taking credit for work that was done by someone 3 levels below him. And the senior staff engineer still thinks he is not getting enough credit for his work. The senior staff engineer’s manager has been crediting him for the work the less senior engineer had done, since the less senior engineer is no longer at that team, in forums where the less senior engineer has no access to.

The less senior engineer is plenty likeable. As is the senior staff engineer. But the less senior engineer had left that team, and the senior staff engineer and his manager are unscrupulous, and do what they’d like to their advantage.

This is called “just world syndrome.”

Re: The three year myth

#139

Post by golly_ned »

helloplanets wrote: post #22

> On your way out the door, you hear the rumors: someone else did your thing years after you showed yours off. They got the credit, the bonus, the promotion, the recognition. They're a Senior now, or a Lead, or a Director, or a VP. If it actually went down like this, that's pretty horrible, and that someone else is a grifter. Very harmful for any organization in the long run, because that behavior will be applied to…

I see this same thing now. In this case, it’s a more senior engineer and his manager taking credit for work a less senior engineer who’d left the team did.

There’s simply no advantage to crediting work to someone who’d left the team.

We love to blame those who are misfortunate. It’s called just world syndrome. It’s deeply uncomfortable to realize that this kind of thing is the norm, and justice is the exception. I’ve been extremely fortunate in my career, but not due to any special savviness of my own.

Re: The three year myth

#140

Post by Zee2 »

cyanydeez wrote: post #126
notepad0x90 wrote: post #123

On one hand there are places that will look out for job-hoppers so the 3yr rule is good. But for promotions, job-hopping is the best strategy. The part people don't talk about much is the toll it takes on you when you switch jobs. It's like moving but worse. It's not like switching your wardrobe or something, it's a very drastic and intense change. There really is no hard-and-fast rule with these things, you just hav…

My asset has always been to be a well timed prediction engine. But it only works if people already rely on you and listen to you.

I have to say the same, but even as someone who isn’t really “relied upon”. The best asset for my own independent well-being has always been knowing which way the wind blows and sailing in that direction.

I have to imagine if there was some internal Polymarket-esque platform I’d be a rich man... (facetiously speaking) Unfortunately knowing the way the wind blows is not as much of an asset to those in charge.

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