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How to be a leader when the vibes are off

chaoticgood.management

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Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#131

Post by nbngeorcjhe »

serial_dev wrote: post #61
Retric wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Paying 2x as much per server means you need to drop well below half just to break even. But you always need a server or you can’t handle new requests. So at small scale there’s zero benefit from dynamic loads.

> you always need a server or you can’t handle new requests You don’t always need a server, you could also just go serverless, get charged 10x while you make your architecture a distributed, slow, hard to debug mess.

please bro just one more SQS queue bro I swear bro just one more please bro

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#132

Post by EZ-E »

darth_avocado wrote: post #108
itsnowandnever wrote: post #64

This blog was essentially my exact strategy over the last few turbulent years. I know it helped my people and I don't regret it. but, man, did it take a lot out of me. I've seen a quip out there before about the perfect recipe for burnout being the combination of high expectations with minimal empowerment to achieve those expectations. and this current market is burning leaders in this industry out like I haven't see…

I don’t know if I’m misinterpreting the blog, but this feels like it suggest you just fall in line with the upper management while providing lip service to the plebs. As an IC I’ve always despised managers who’d be a very sympathetic ear in 1:1s but always be “part of the system” when it mattered the most. Yes it’s always good to not get into public arguments with the upper management, but this gives off a lot of “pl…

> this feels like it suggest you just fall in line with the upper management while providing lip service to the plebs. As an IC I’ve always despised managers who’d be a very sympathetic ear in 1:1s but always be “part of the system” when it mattered the most

You're "part of the system" the moment you sign the employment contract for a manager position, this is literally your job to fall in line with upper management. As middle manager you can and should raise concerns to higher management, but once they take a decision, you have to apply it. Being empathetic is not playing both sides, manager's job is to apply upper management decision even if you don't fully agree. And you don't have to pretend in private to agree on everything, no one will buy that.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#133

Post by CSSer »

bluefirebrand wrote: post #123
cyrnel wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know, right? It's sycophancy. If you are actually against the policy and suspect a lot of people are too, then don't silence your employees by keeping their feedback isolated to 1:1s which you admit are ineffective. Executives need clear feedback to avoid making major mistakes.

I don't think I've ever worked anywhere that executives are actually capable of taking feedback constructively In all cases they have eventually just told me to shut up, no matter how diplomatic I try to be, and in some cases it has led to me being terminated Feedback is just taken as a sign that you aren't aligned with their vision, so you have to go

Everyone has an ego. Everyone wants to exercise their power their way when it's their time to shine. I wish I could upvote this twice. If you are reading the above early in your career, please don't take the comment as cynical. It doesn't have to be. Rather, look for it as the sign that you're ready to find your next role. Companies will never clearly give you that. This is often the closest heuristic you'll find, and if you take advantage of it with the right timing, you can leave with grace. If someone asks you why you're leaving, keep it to yourself.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#135

Post by alex-moon »

This is depressing to be sure, but rest assured there is a long history of middle management being "the buffer" between upper management and everyone else. It's a common trope in TV shows and such.

I think one of the most important things this write up is maybe missing (though I am not super clear on how this has changed recently) is when middle management are acknowledging to their reports that the C suite are a bunch of cunts, is that they also need to be saying the same thing to the C suite themselves. "Going out to bat" literally means feeding back to upper management that what they're doing isn't going to work. This should be a fight that is ongoing. Again, privately, one to one, but you do actually need to be doing it. If you can back it up with numbers, even better.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#137

Post by sensanaty »

bluefirebrand wrote: post #123
cyrnel wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know, right? It's sycophancy. If you are actually against the policy and suspect a lot of people are too, then don't silence your employees by keeping their feedback isolated to 1:1s which you admit are ineffective. Executives need clear feedback to avoid making major mistakes.

I don't think I've ever worked anywhere that executives are actually capable of taking feedback constructively In all cases they have eventually just told me to shut up, no matter how diplomatic I try to be, and in some cases it has led to me being terminated Feedback is just taken as a sign that you aren't aligned with their vision, so you have to go

Can't upvote this enough, and I live in NL where worker protections make it hard/impossible for them to fire me for stuff like this. I'm a very honest person, so I've never had issues speaking my mind to anyone because I also don't really believe in the whole hierarchy thing.

I have approached management with stats, hard facts and level headed, calm discussions many times. It doesn't make a difference. Execs do not give a shit, unless you're also an exec, and they will pretty much always ignore anything you have to say. If you don't align with whatever idea they have at that moment, you're "not being a team player"

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#138

Post by tao_oat »

bluefirebrand wrote: post #123
cyrnel wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know, right? It's sycophancy. If you are actually against the policy and suspect a lot of people are too, then don't silence your employees by keeping their feedback isolated to 1:1s which you admit are ineffective. Executives need clear feedback to avoid making major mistakes.

I don't think I've ever worked anywhere that executives are actually capable of taking feedback constructively In all cases they have eventually just told me to shut up, no matter how diplomatic I try to be, and in some cases it has led to me being terminated Feedback is just taken as a sign that you aren't aligned with their vision, so you have to go

out of curiosity, what would it look like to take feedback constructively, but not follow it?

i'm asking because (in my experience) executives get hundreds of pieces of feedback and advice. they can't follow all of it, and so they have to prioritize, and their priorities might not overlap completely with those of ICs.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#139

Post by mfru »

nenenejej wrote: post #136
mfru wrote: post #134

This reads like "How to follow orders and resignate". Only shows that companies are dictatorships where workers don't have a say

What is the answer? unions?

Sure, also: worker cooperatives.

The key point is: workers need to organize together for themselves. Nobody else is going to stand up for you, certainly not your boss(es).

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#140

Post by numeri »

tao_oat wrote: post #138
bluefirebrand wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think I've ever worked anywhere that executives are actually capable of taking feedback constructively In all cases they have eventually just told me to shut up, no matter how diplomatic I try to be, and in some cases it has led to me being terminated Feedback is just taken as a sign that you aren't aligned with their vision, so you have to go

out of curiosity, what would it look like to take feedback constructively, but not follow it? i'm asking because (in my experience) executives get hundreds of pieces of feedback and advice. they can't follow all of it, and so they have to prioritize, and their priorities might not overlap completely with those of ICs.

One sign would be occasionally changing course in response to overwhelming employee feedback. If that never or almost never happens, the feedback is being ignored, not taken constructively and not followed.
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