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Dull Men’s Club

theguardian.com

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Re: Dull Men’s Club

#131

Post by keysdev »

tboyd47 wrote: post #110
rester324 wrote: post #77

I am a dull man by every measure. I don't have interesting hobbies, I am not an influencer, I don't post interesting posts on social media and I don't travel a lot, I don't do extreme things, I barely have any money at the moment, I bore others, in fact when I try to amuse my colleagues or the opposite sex, my jokes regularly fall flat and even my voice is dull I believe. But after my kids were born I noticed somethi…

> But after my kids were born I noticed something: my kids loved my voice, they listened to every sentence I made, they laughed at my quirky jokes I made and they loved when I sang to them or I brought them to the park or to the nursery and when I sat them on my neck. My wife took all that from me though, so now I need to fight to get my kids back. You call yourself dull, but this short comment revealed the opposite…

Much of that comes with age. I guess if you are a vampire or some sorta immortal, after a while you will also don't care what others think of you.

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#132

Post by johnnyanmac »

tboyd47 wrote: post #110
rester324 wrote: post #77

I am a dull man by every measure. I don't have interesting hobbies, I am not an influencer, I don't post interesting posts on social media and I don't travel a lot, I don't do extreme things, I barely have any money at the moment, I bore others, in fact when I try to amuse my colleagues or the opposite sex, my jokes regularly fall flat and even my voice is dull I believe. But after my kids were born I noticed somethi…

> But after my kids were born I noticed something: my kids loved my voice, they listened to every sentence I made, they laughed at my quirky jokes I made and they loved when I sang to them or I brought them to the park or to the nursery and when I sat them on my neck. My wife took all that from me though, so now I need to fight to get my kids back. You call yourself dull, but this short comment revealed the opposite…

he managed to find a spouse interested enough to marry him. That's already 10 steps above many internet dwellers as of late. People who want to seem "not dull" for that exact goal.

I also did read the piece and recognize this "Dull man's club" is anything but. It's simply a tongue and cheek name for niche hobbies. I'm sure the hackers of the 80's/90's would have fit right in.

We sadly became more dull overtime in comparison as our hobbies all converged into the same few things. And even those few things could be interesting, but hobbies became so shallow. we watch TV but often don't analyze and critque it. We eat food but don't truly taste and savor its flavor. Being "dull" in my eyes means not truly interacting nor resonating with the things you do in your life.

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#133

Post by m463 »

rester324 wrote: post #77

I am a dull man by every measure. I don't have interesting hobbies, I am not an influencer, I don't post interesting posts on social media and I don't travel a lot, I don't do extreme things, I barely have any money at the moment, I bore others, in fact when I try to amuse my colleagues or the opposite sex, my jokes regularly fall flat and even my voice is dull I believe. But after my kids were born I noticed somethi…

Sort of reminds me of "The Last Lecture" on cliches.

Here's a summary:

Cliches work because they’re typically right on the money. Plus, kids don’t know most of them, so educators should use them. They’re a new audience and they’re inspired by cliches.

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#134

Post by jrgoff »

rester324 wrote: post #77

I am a dull man by every measure. I don't have interesting hobbies, I am not an influencer, I don't post interesting posts on social media and I don't travel a lot, I don't do extreme things, I barely have any money at the moment, I bore others, in fact when I try to amuse my colleagues or the opposite sex, my jokes regularly fall flat and even my voice is dull I believe. But after my kids were born I noticed somethi…

This comment reminds me of my own socially anxious belief that I am boring, that people don't want to hear what I have to say, etc. And I have had plenty of evidence to reinforce those beliefs. As I have been working through things in therapy though, I have realized that my wounded mind grabs on to those things that reinforce that negative belief and tends to be dismissive of things that would contradict it. I've also realized that because I have those fears/wounds I often interact with people in ways that are more likely to elicit disinterested responses - I often have a flat affect and emote little, display no enthusiasm when communicating about things that I care about because I expect that the other person won't be interested or care. I wouldn't be surprised if I subconsciously have chosen friends who re-inforce those beliefs as well, I think I sometimes feel uncomfortable when people do respond enthusiastically toward me.

Some of my early experiences as an adult that broke my heart open a little were also with children - I don't have any of my own, but when my nephew and niece were young they were so open and enthusiastic and happy to see me it got past my wounded defense mechanisms.

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#136

Post by SunlitCat »

jrgoff wrote: post #134
rester324 wrote: post #77

I am a dull man by every measure. I don't have interesting hobbies, I am not an influencer, I don't post interesting posts on social media and I don't travel a lot, I don't do extreme things, I barely have any money at the moment, I bore others, in fact when I try to amuse my colleagues or the opposite sex, my jokes regularly fall flat and even my voice is dull I believe. But after my kids were born I noticed somethi…

This comment reminds me of my own socially anxious belief that I am boring, that people don't want to hear what I have to say, etc. And I have had plenty of evidence to reinforce those beliefs. As I have been working through things in therapy though, I have realized that my wounded mind grabs on to those things that reinforce that negative belief and tends to be dismissive of things that would contradict it. I've als…

That's maybe one of the biggest helping things. Having the right audience and even if it is only one or two people (or kids). This can make a lot of difference.

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#137

Post by kerrsclyde »

__alias wrote: post #72
ecshafer wrote: post #8

The Dull Men's Club group of facebook is actually oddly interesting. I would classify it more as a group who point out the very small oddities of every day life that are not very interesting. There is a post where someone saw two geese with 42 bay geese, another where the rental company fixed a door with a piece of pool noodle. Its more like a "huh that's kind of weird I guess" group.

My fave I remember seeing years ago was one where a man - over some long period of time - managed to park in every single parking space of a supermarket. I feel like this energy perfectly encapsulates what dull mans club is all about

https://x.com/GarethWild/status/1386965962214289408

Legendary.

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#138

Post by AlecSchueler »

potato3732842 wrote: post #81
AlecSchueler wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Except this one is gendered, so somewhat more exclusive?

If your demographic information is important to your contributions to a group like that you're doing it very wrong.

Would you say the same if it were the Dull Women's Club?

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#139

Post by throwaway422432 »

wvh wrote: post #83
rester324 wrote: post #77

I am a dull man by every measure. I don't have interesting hobbies, I am not an influencer, I don't post interesting posts on social media and I don't travel a lot, I don't do extreme things, I barely have any money at the moment, I bore others, in fact when I try to amuse my colleagues or the opposite sex, my jokes regularly fall flat and even my voice is dull I believe. But after my kids were born I noticed somethi…

I think this story sounds familiar to a lot of us, especially as men who likely spend less time on social media comparing and FOMOing. Let's hope you get your kids back too and somebody new will get enchanted by your "boring" voice.

At some point your kids will also be grown up and able to make their own choices.

In the meantime, get a dog. They thrive in dull consistency and will love you for it. They will happily walk the same path each day and just sleep at your feet while you do what you need to do.

Re: Dull Men’s Club

#140

Post by rxtexit »

sandworm101 wrote: post #5

I think once you are features in a guardian article, you arent dull anymore. Building model airplanes in a shed is dull. Being so good at building them that journalists take time to visit you is not.

I find this perspective just incredibly dull.

As if the measure of interesting is the attention of trash, click bait journalists.

To me, it is why most people and places have become increasingly dull and monotone over my lifetime.

It is like we have developed a society of dull, shitty stage actors, constantly trying to perform 24/7 but there is no audience other than all the other shitty stage actors.

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