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Find Your People

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Re: Find Your People

#131

Post by diego_sandoval »

parpfish wrote: post #90
joshstrange wrote: post #54

> The first step is to realize that the subway stops here. Up to this point in life, most of you have been rolling on train tracks. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college—it was always clear what the next stop was. In the process you've been trained to believe something that’s not true: that all of life is train tracks. And there are some jobs where you can make it stay like train tracks if you want,…

i think its interesting that for so many college kids, the post-graduation options that continue to provide tracks are also treated as the more "prestigious" options (go to grad school. work at big3/faang, etc). it's not because they are any more prestigious or important, but because they provide a clear sense of achievement/external validation and kids that make it to the end of college are kids that have had decade…

> the post-graduation options that continue to provide tracks are also treated as the more "prestigious" options (go to grad school. work at big3/faang, etc).

I think it's the other way around: the more prestigious option becomes the track.

Re: Find Your People

#132

Post by riehwvfbk »

orthecreedence wrote: post #115
joshstrange wrote: post #54

> The first step is to realize that the subway stops here. Up to this point in life, most of you have been rolling on train tracks. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college—it was always clear what the next stop was. In the process you've been trained to believe something that’s not true: that all of life is train tracks. And there are some jobs where you can make it stay like train tracks if you want,…

> I don't blame the kids, they don't know any better. They've spent their whole life focusing on the next goal. No, they spent their whole lives being sheltered. Let's call it what it is. These people were on tracks because they were put on tracks from a young age and told that the track leads somewhere, and any questioning of the tracks was often met with a harsh rebuke. They didn't play outside with the neighborhoo…

Those other things you mention are also "tracks". Getting a shitty fast food job is done not due to any kind of aspiration but simply because it's the default thing to do.

Imagine not being able to get a shitty fast food job because you are disabled. Or just moved to the US and speak too weird and don't have anyone to vouch for you.

Ditto for hanging out with the neighborhood kids. This assumes that you are one of them, and not a victim/target for them.

Re: Find Your People

#133

Post by epolanski »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #129
charlie0 wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Say more.

It's a long story, and probably not one for this venue, but suffice it to say that the skills one develops, rebuilding a shattered life, tend to give significant advantages. > That which does not kill you, makes you stronger. - Freddy Nietzsche > Or leaves you weak and exhausted. - Bill Prekker's Corollary

I can relate and feel the same about myself. Disasters and dramas since young age made me quite resilient at embracing change and difficulty.

Re: Find Your People

#134

Post by jmtulloss »

pulkitsh1234 wrote: post #124
joshstrange wrote: post #54

> The first step is to realize that the subway stops here. Up to this point in life, most of you have been rolling on train tracks. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college—it was always clear what the next stop was. In the process you've been trained to believe something that’s not true: that all of life is train tracks. And there are some jobs where you can make it stay like train tracks if you want,…

The first bit is too similar to what a typical college kid would go through in India. My assumption was that this would NOT be the case in the USA. You hear about kids dropping out and starting startups, or people just skipping college to work on what they like, or kids joining trade schools to get into welding. Isn't this the norm in the USA / most of the developed world ?? Your comment confirms the same thing.. you…

The kids that fall into this bucket talk about it a lot (when they’re successful). The vast majority of successful people in America (for some definition of success) did not drop out, and the vast majority of drop outs do not find this type of mainstream success.

This is not to say that dropouts without that kind of success aren’t happy. I do believe that America does afford a lot of leeway for people to be happy and comfortable in non-traditional life paths. They’re just not the ones being discussed din this comment.

Re: Find Your People

#135

Post by plasticchris »

mjr00 wrote: post #93
nathan_compton wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Each time you have to make a decision, make the right one" would be what I would say in a commencement speech. Truly sage advice.

> "Each time you have to make a decision, make the right one" would be what I would say in a commencement speech. Truly sage advice. It honestly is great advice. Most (useful) business advice I've seen amounts to "how to make better decisions". This includes things like doing market research or a business model canvas (to make better decisions about your customers), releasing MVPs quickly to test the market (to make…

Each time you have to make a decision, measure.

Re: Find Your People

#136

Post by ketzo »

Karrot_Kream wrote: post #59
ketzo wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s certainly true that there are real downsides to both ends of the spectrum — but all things being equal I’d rather be wiping my tears with hundred dollar bills than tissues

You say that, until you start spending those hundred dollar bills on therapy. I'm only being a bit silly here, a pretty high number of these folks are in therapy dealing with the alienation they feel over their life for being forced into a career path they felt like they had no choice in.

I mean, at some point this is a way-too-abstract point with no real answer

But being in therapy and alienated from your life, but rich, is not comparable to being actually poor, to not being able to provide for the people you love, to not being able to meet your basic needs. I’m sorry, but it’s just not.

Let alone the fact that, trust me, lots of poorer people are alienated from their jobs/lifestyle too! They just can’t afford the therapy!

Re: Find Your People

#137

Post by orthecreedence »

riehwvfbk wrote: post #132
orthecreedence wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't blame the kids, they don't know any better. They've spent their whole life focusing on the next goal. No, they spent their whole lives being sheltered. Let's call it what it is. These people were on tracks because they were put on tracks from a young age and told that the track leads somewhere, and any questioning of the tracks was often met with a harsh rebuke. They didn't play outside with the neighborhoo…

Those other things you mention are also "tracks". Getting a shitty fast food job is done not due to any kind of aspiration but simply because it's the default thing to do. Imagine not being able to get a shitty fast food job because you are disabled. Or just moved to the US and speak too weird and don't have anyone to vouch for you. Ditto for hanging out with the neighborhood kids. This assumes that you are one of th…

What a strange response. Anything is a track if you only do that one thing. The point is that having diverse life experiences that challenge you make you a much more well-rounded person that can adapt and handle difficult situations.

Re: Find Your People

#138

Post by criddell »

jimbokun wrote: post #47
criddell wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know what the axes are for your trajectory plot, but some of the people I know who seem to really enjoy their lives are not high achievers if you measure by status or finances. It's hard to find things that all of them have in common. They all come from supportive, functioning families and all of them are artistic people working in technical fields and have high EQ. They are all very curious but not scattered…

> They all come from supportive, functioning families and all of them are artistic people working in technical fields and have high EQ. They are all very curious but not scattered or unfocused. Seems like it wasn't too hard to find things all of them have in common.

Yeah, rereading my comment I don’t think I said what I wanted to say. It wasn’t very insightful.

Re: Find Your People

#139

Post by gilbetron »

> You fall into three groups

She lost me at that statement. I hate these kind of reductive statements that are presented as a thoughtful statement. There are vastly more than three groups in that audience (granted, it is self-selected elite University, so the number of groups is still constrained comparatively).

Re: Find Your People

#140

Post by riehwvfbk »

orthecreedence wrote: post #137
riehwvfbk wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Those other things you mention are also "tracks". Getting a shitty fast food job is done not due to any kind of aspiration but simply because it's the default thing to do. Imagine not being able to get a shitty fast food job because you are disabled. Or just moved to the US and speak too weird and don't have anyone to vouch for you. Ditto for hanging out with the neighborhood kids. This assumes that you are one of th…

What a strange response. Anything is a track if you only do that one thing. The point is that having diverse life experiences that challenge you make you a much more well-rounded person that can adapt and handle difficult situations.

Well, I think people like you are strange: how weird would it be to go through life assuming that everyone thinks the same way as you!

How is working at McD's more "diverse" than playing soccer, or even tinkering with a computer at home? It's only "better" in a very specific value system, that of the American lower middle class

Or put differently: the cliche thing that every teenager does in every American movie is "diverse"? How?

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