Be a thermostat, not a thermometer (2023)

We can expect that of ourselves. It's a skill that can be learned and practiced.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -- Viktor Frankl

I've found that a meditation practice allows me to find that space more easily in real life situations. At the very least, you'll know when you're being "amygdala hijacked" (per the article).

Yes! And sometimes it benefits you both to _lean in to that_! Perhaps you feel the same way! So "choosing to be a thermostat" does not need to be a choice you make in every situation or no situation. It's very dependent on context. Sometimes I WANT people to match my energy, it's affirming or comforting. Sometimes I will benefit from either being the thermostat or the... thermostatted...

I absolutely disagree that this is "manipulation tactics". I can see how the sausage is made and still appreciate how they're approaching the situation. It indicates to me that this person is interested in exploring and working on their own emotional intelligence, and are using things they've learned to help problem-solve.

Regarding "weird vibe in room" - my take on the article is not that "being thermostat" is NOT a means to "remove vibe I don't like". "Weird vibe" is indicative that something is wrong and there could be a problem there worth challenging or solving. It doesn't have to come from a place of "toxic positivity" or self-centered "I only want good vibes" thinking. "Weird vibe" can still be there and I think part of growing emotional intelligence is learning you can only do so much and sometimes allowing "weird vibe" is healthy -- and learning to not let it affect you if it's not something you rationally are affected by (ie. someone else's mood due personal reasons).

> Try being thermostat to someone who is on meth or someone who is drunk.There are many reasons someone is raising he temperature in a room.

As a volunteer first aider who's done "night time economy" shifts alongside paramedics - this is absolutely something that is done and is quite helpful. There is a certain degree of patience and customer-service-voice that generally many intoxicated people are receptive to. Doing what you can to de-escalate and calm them down has better (generally, quicker) outcomes for their treatment. If you can calmly convince someone who has hoofed a dangerous amount of cocaine along with their 10 shots of vodka that night and has presented to you aggressive and frightened due to chest pains to sit down in the back of the ambulance, you don't have to deal with them aggressively flailing about the place whilst you hook them up to an ECG. Matching their energy and yelling at them is probably the last thing you wanna do there (even though they ARE fuckin' annoying... never let them know that, if you want to go home ~on time~ only an hour after your shift ends ;))