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Letting go of the idea of keeping up

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Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#131

Post by KptMarchewa »

resource_waste wrote: post #90
NalNezumi wrote: post #48

When I saw the title I thought the article would be about the dreadful stress of keeping up with new tech or research .. But it's about spare time reading? Granted the problem seems similar, but only because the author is in the field of reading (working in books related profession). I'm not sure how much it can be applied to just hobby reading. Stress of keeping up with tech/research comes from a sense of profession…

Thanks for starting the discussion. > Stress of keeping up with tech/research comes from a sense of professional obligations (you'll fall behind to your professional peers) Okay, I'm literally terrified about not being in the top 1% or top 10% of everything I do. Scared. I have built my life around me with people that perform at those levels, so everyone from my wife to my best friends may disappear if I'm not perfor…

Unless you have extremely expensive lifestyle, usually being in top 10-20% is enough. And getting to top 10-20% is extremely easy on the timescale of decade or so, basically it boils down to any directed effort. Giant majority of employed people literally don't grow.

On the contrary being in 0.1-1% is not worth it, things like monetary success are usually more down to networking and being in the right place at the right time, top 10% software engineer can earn way more money joining right early stage startup or even tech company at the right time - like NVIDIA lately. While the 0.1% developer might spend his time at failed startup - for example, because his extreme passion might mislead them to believe field like _developer tools_ is the future.

Of course, this is written from a perspective of a person that likes what they do, but not to the point where it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Pretty much every hour spend lead climbing outside was more fun and fulfilling than any hour spend at work.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#132

Post by scotty79 »

amonith wrote: post #93
resource_waste wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for starting the discussion. > Stress of keeping up with tech/research comes from a sense of professional obligations (you'll fall behind to your professional peers) Okay, I'm literally terrified about not being in the top 1% or top 10% of everything I do. Scared. I have built my life around me with people that perform at those levels, so everyone from my wife to my best friends may disappear if I'm not perfor…

> so everyone from my wife to my best friends may disappear if I'm not performing at those levels Excuse me, what the flask. You don't have a wife and friends then at all. You've built a non-profit organization, not a family. > look at nature: The best do what they can and the weak suffer What kind of nature are you even watching? It's the sickly bottom 1% that's suffering which is an unfortunate reality, not the 90%…

> Excuse me, what the flask. You don't have a wife and friends then at all. You've built a non-profit organization, not a family.

I think it's fairly common among top performers.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#133

Post by vasco »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #124
vasco wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well I wouldn't be defending books if I didn't like them :) I need to keep Goodreads updated though, I've been losing the habit over the last years, because lately none of my choices come from Goodreads recommendations, but I love being able to see all I read. Thanks for the reminder! I don't think it's weird to acknowledge people have different preferences though, I don't like running marathons but I can see how peo…

Comparing a marathon with walking your dog is clearly implying a negative or lesser perception of the "walking your dog" activity. That is not a neutral statement of preference. If you intended for it to be a neutral comparison about preference I would have gone with something like triathlons, sprinting, athletics, etc.

Woah man, I definitely like walking my dog way more than running marathons! That was exactly my point they are different things, that different people enjoy and they are not so comparable. You don't get the same things from walking a dog that you get from running a marathon. The same way you don't get the same thing from reading books to reading reddit URLs to reading research papers. It is you that is injecting "one is lesser than the other" not me.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#134

Post by pas »

tsunamifury wrote: post #64
pas wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And likely it's simply wrong. https://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2023/12/th... ( https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/inequality-might-be-going-down... ) > That book is too big. Most non-fiction books are best "consumed" by watching a few talks or podcast episodes by the author(s) and a few others by critics.

I live in Pacific Heights, likely one of the top 5 richest neighborhoods in the world. Let me tell you this really directly… inequality is not going down, these people just have no fucking clue how extreme it’s become because they aren’t amoung it and keep comparing terrible datasets that completely lack the outlier data that makes up most of the extreme inequality. And pacific heights won’t come up at the top 5 rich…

Data is always crap, but there are error bars. GDP is pretty well accounted for.

There was shadow wealth at every point of the last decade, so it's already factored in, the numbers (and studies) are already taking that into account, ... unless! Unless folks suddenly started to commit more tax fraud. (Which is hard to do if your money comes from capital.)

https://budgetmodel.wharton.upenn.edu/issues/2021/4/30/map-i...

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#135

Post by trgn »

resource_waste wrote: post #99
amonith wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> so everyone from my wife to my best friends may disappear if I'm not performing at those levels Excuse me, what the flask. You don't have a wife and friends then at all. You've built a non-profit organization, not a family. > look at nature: The best do what they can and the weak suffer What kind of nature are you even watching? It's the sickly bottom 1% that's suffering which is an unfortunate reality, not the 90%…

>You don't have a wife and friends then at all. You've built a non-profit organization, not a family. :( Yeah I know >What kind of nature are you even watching From the highest levels to the lowest levels, power dynamics decide how things are. I will admit that you can intellectual insanity your way to enjoying/handling suffering, I was a Stoic for 3 years. Whatever the case, maybe I've personally experienced more of…

> so everyone from my wife to my best friends may disappear if I'm not performing at those levels

fwiw - a lot of go-getters find themselves surprised with the support and love they continue to receive from their spouse and friends when they are going through a rough patch.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#136

Post by anal_reactor »

starbugs wrote: post #88
anal_reactor wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group. Sure, rea…

> I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group. Could a…

> Could also say the group failed to integrate a person who had different preferences for their free time and then bullied them when they weren't present at work?

That's also possible, depends on details of the dynamic between OP and the rest of the group

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#137

Post by starbugs »

anal_reactor wrote: post #136
starbugs wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group. Could a…

> Could also say the group failed to integrate a person who had different preferences for their free time and then bullied them when they weren't present at work? That's also possible, depends on details of the dynamic between OP and the rest of the group

> That's also possible, depends on details of the dynamic between OP and the rest of the group

Sorry, no. That's not also possible. That's in fact exactly what happened if we believe OP's story.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#138

Post by resource_waste »

ggpsv wrote: post #113
resource_waste wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You have to mental gymnastics your way to happiness, rather than using your intrinsic desires. You also probably need to take a philosophical "Leap of Faith" at some point to justify your work. The obvious one is Solipsism, you basically must assume that other people have consciousness. Hope you aren't just a brain in the vat, and this worldly experience was all for you.

I reckon you're misunderstanding stoicism if you think of it as mental gymnastics. You're implying it is a practice of self-deceit or indulging in irrationality. Stoicism is largely about accepting things as they are and letting go of the illusion of control. This, if truly integrated in your outlook, is the opposite of mental gymnastics. Said otherwise, you'd have self-awareness to understand your predicament and cu…

I think you should read The Meditations, skip chapter 1.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#139

Post by jacobr1 »

ClaraForm wrote: post #111
resource_waste wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for starting the discussion. > Stress of keeping up with tech/research comes from a sense of professional obligations (you'll fall behind to your professional peers) Okay, I'm literally terrified about not being in the top 1% or top 10% of everything I do. Scared. I have built my life around me with people that perform at those levels, so everyone from my wife to my best friends may disappear if I'm not perfor…

> Okay, I'm literally terrified about not being in the top 1% or top 10% of everything I do. Scared. I don't believe you. No one is in the "top 1%" of everything you do. I don't say this to shame you, but to make you realize that you're already okay as you are, while not being the best. There's no way you're in the top 1% of management ability, technical knowledge, coworker relationships, parenting, exercise, finance…

He certainly isn't in the top 1% of work-life balance.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#140

Post by shanusmagnus »

NalNezumi wrote: post #48

When I saw the title I thought the article would be about the dreadful stress of keeping up with new tech or research .. But it's about spare time reading? Granted the problem seems similar, but only because the author is in the field of reading (working in books related profession). I'm not sure how much it can be applied to just hobby reading. Stress of keeping up with tech/research comes from a sense of profession…

> I'm not sure how much it can be applied to just hobby reading.

It feels very real to me, in the circles I run in.

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