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Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

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Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#131

Post by mech422 »

thebrowncat wrote: post #117
blunte wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What you don't understand is that if you hate life, and perhaps if you have money and comforts that you know should help... but you still are miserable, it feels hopeless. The money traps you. It's so hard to imagine taking a huge pay cut. But that pay cut, and living life the way you want, is more important. Hating most of your hours each day until you're 45 or 50 and then retiring will leave you such a different an…

The other issue with trying to power through the job whilst absolutely hating it, is that your performance suffers and you end up getting fired. The turnover rate in quant finance is extremely high and it's not just because people voluntarily quit.

Not to sound harsh - but its a trade off...You seem to want the money and the job satisfaction/community/work-life balance... Its incredibly hard to get it all. Pick the ones that are most important to you, and let the others sort themselves out.

Sounds like you're only going to make another year or two at you're current job before you're totally fried. So perhaps start looking for new stuff now, and start socking away extra cash in case you want to retire.

P.S. The turnover rate in programming in general is very high. I was surprised the 'average' programmer changes careers after 10 (5?) years. Burnout is real everywhere.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#132

Post by LittleGecko »

I can quickly comment as I was in the same situation not too long ago. I was a semi-quant in a fund in London until recently. I stayed from the intern stage to the very top. I spent my entire time working. I hated London with a passion, it's a cold city where people are cold, the weather is cold and wet, the food is terrible, never made any friends there, you're expected to join the rat race in short. It has a huge impact on you if you don't like because you're reminded of this every day, you may be thinking of other places where life is not like that, that your life is running out getting a paycheck. I'm not sure if this is your experience and I talk for myself, but maybe it is. Also I wouldn't think of things in terms of optimising career/money. These things are only good if you're happy and it doesn't sound like you are.

Here's what I've done: I left (I left far far). Life is too short. Quant skills can be applied in various things, including startups. I would suggest looking at Cambridge because you cannot leave your partner apparently. Cambridge has a bunch of funds, but also has a lot of startups working on interesting projects, you should have a go and visit the place. Things are greener, nicer, people are calmer, and you're 1hr away from your partner. Good luck.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#133

Post by giantg2 »

vsareto wrote: post #76

There's a couple of constraints here that seem to be dominating your decisions. One: early retirement Two: the idea that the recruiter was right about not being able to find the money elsewhere You have a PhD in Computer Science , one of the highest academic accomplishments in one of the hottest fields for the last 30-40 years. I want you to know how far ahead you are of people like me who just taught themselves to c…

"You have a PhD in Computer Science, one of the highest academic accomplishments in one of the hottest fields for the last 30-40 years. I want you to know how far ahead you are of people like me who just taught themselves to code and glue web apps together for 6 figures."

I have a Masters and don't make 6 figures. I think the PhD has a smaller pool of positions, especially if you expect to be paid well.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#134

Post by kgin »

oneplane wrote: post #112
jstx1 wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's definitely an argument for making hay while the sun shines. But retiring early exposes you more to future bear markets since the value/returns of your investment portfolio will go down. Being employed seems a lot more resilient in that case.

Being employed or running a business (or being in school, in a sports team etc.) also means you're part of the general actively synchronised life. Might sound fuzzy but it boils down to being in touch with society around you. Then again, there is plenty of society all over the world where that means working strange hours, strange jobs, or not at all.

Everyone needs a way to plug in to the world around them. It doesn’t have to be a full time job or even a job at all. But this is something everyone needs.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#135

Post by srcreigh »

Is it the social situation? Everybody needs enough encouraging, supportive, friendly people in their lives.. and if you have discouraging, apathetic, etc people then you need even more of the former.

This could be the good money + toxic environment deadlock. I guess it's mostly the social environment which discourages you from looking elsewhere. The pay could be better elsewhere, the social environment almost certainly could be better elsewhere.

I recommend that you start interviewing for other positions immediately - maybe 1 per month - just to keep yourself grounded. Your interviewing/networking doesn't imply a decision to make a change, it just informs your decision regardless of if you decide to switch or stay. Interviewing could encourage you to stay where you are, etc.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#136

Post by BlissWaves »

blunte wrote: post #111
ryandrake wrote: post #100

I'm going to be the contrarian. Keep the job. Power through it and retire as early as you can, then you can do whatever you want. If you're in $finance$ or $FAANG$, don't go to a non-FAANG. Definitely don't quit your job unless you have another one lined up, and definitely don't take an extended leave to travel and find yourself. Don't believe "CS grads will always be employed." There are people on HN who graduated i…

What you don't understand is that if you hate life, and perhaps if you have money and comforts that you know should help... but you still are miserable, it feels hopeless. The money traps you. It's so hard to imagine taking a huge pay cut. But that pay cut, and living life the way you want, is more important. Hating most of your hours each day until you're 45 or 50 and then retiring will leave you such a different an…

Why music degree instead of CS?

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#137

Post by kgin »

jstx1 wrote: post #105
ryandrake wrote: post #100

I'm going to be the contrarian. Keep the job. Power through it and retire as early as you can, then you can do whatever you want. If you're in $finance$ or $FAANG$, don't go to a non-FAANG. Definitely don't quit your job unless you have another one lined up, and definitely don't take an extended leave to travel and find yourself. Don't believe "CS grads will always be employed." There are people on HN who graduated i…

There's definitely an argument for making hay while the sun shines. But retiring early exposes you more to future bear markets since the value/returns of your investment portfolio will go down. Being employed seems a lot more resilient in that case.

3% withdrawal rate has a ton of cushion built in, surviving all historic scenarios including the Great Depression. If we do experience something worse than the Great Depression, it’s not a particularly safe assumption that your job would still exist either, but having whatever was left of your savings would put you in a better spot than most to forge a new life in this new post-apocalyptic world.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#138

Post by lcall »

If you decide to look for a job, there are resources here to help w/ the job search (edit: do a ^F for "identifying"): https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/share/church-resources?l...

But: carefully and well-choosing a purpose in live helps with so many things. To be successful, we must learn to act rather than being acted upon. To bring joy and stability, I think it needs to be realistic and at least partly or largely unselfish. I wrote more on past related HN discussions, and many more thoughts (in profile).

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#139

Post by caffeine »

Finance in London is very hot at the moment, there is a lot of hiring going on and substantial upside available for talented individuals. Why not start speaking to recruiters and see if you can find a better and more exciting team? Stay way from banks, focus on funds and HFTs.

PnL wise, a lot of firms are starting up coming off a bumper 2020 year. It sounds like fundamentally your problem is being in a bad team/firm that you are not excited to work with. On a good team, you should be getting in to work early feeling pumped that you are all going to smash it today. If you don’t have that feeling, just find a new team.

You mentioned that your partners job is more stressful. Would suggest seeking out a more stressful job for yourself. The low stress jobs in finance are not fun, interesting or lucrative, while the high stress jobs can be all three.

Also, through Brexit, the EU have successfully caused many firms to put Real Jobz in other capitals like Amsterdam, Dublin, or Paris. It sounds like you might enjoy the lifestyle in one of those cities better than London.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#140

Post by brundolf »

Is there no way that you and/or your partner could switch to remote work? At least in the U.S., remote working is sweeping the industry. Failing that, could you get a remote job for a U.S. company?

If none of the above, is your relationship serious enough that your partner would be willing to sustain both of you on their salary alone? Could you quit your job, take some time off to recuperate, and then find a job you don't hate, even if it pays much less?

If none of those options work, and it just comes down to "my partner is unwilling to leave the city and I can't possibly be happy here", then it may just not be a workable relationship. Though before jumping to that conclusion, I'd have an honest heart-to-heart with them and tell them how you feel. It could be that you're more important to them than their career; you never know until you ask.

Best of luck.

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