Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed • Hacker News Board

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#131

Post by ianai » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:16 PM UTC

voisin wrote: post #42

throwawayboise wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you had kids, you would know that you can control what they do up until about middle-school age, at which point your ability to control them begins to decline. They're starting to grow into independent adults.

Best not to try to control them before that age either. Best to try to develop a relationship where you can express your concerns in a straightforward manner and hear their concerns and get their buy-in on some solution that safeguards them from your concerns but let’s them have some semblance of what they want.

Agree. Those tend to be the most functional relationships/young adults that I remember interacting with in the past. Social media though is clearly a thing to approach carefully. I personally just block it all at the firewall and watch for the day society gets through this phase.

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#132

Post by chrisseaton » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:17 PM UTC

mensetmanusman wrote: post #10

“ In writing this, I have found the surprising reverse correlation between suicidal behavior and time spent in school—both prior to the Covid-19 pandemic and during it—gnawing at me. Could it be that the pressures around school itself are among the most important stressors related to suicidality among teens? If that’s so, the underlying reasons could be related either to academic or social pressures. Regardless, no o…

> in person schooling should be an option

It always has been an option.

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#133

Post by lupire » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:17 PM UTC

austincheney wrote: post #109

anonymousab wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> only because you set boundaries around social media Social media is social interaction. It's an inextricable part, if not the centerpiece for many kids these days. This is the modern equivalent of saying "no friends allowed"/"you can only see and talk to your friends for a couple of minutes a day", as hyperbolic as that may seem. Extreme rejection and rebellion is a logical outcome from that.

It’s not the centerpiece if you are doing your job as a parent. > Extreme rejection and rebellion is a logical outcome from that. If that’s the result then you are failing as a parent.

I suspect you may be in for a rude awakening in your relationship with your kids, and probably your kids are doing things behind your back.

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#134

Post by tehjoker » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:17 PM UTC

mixmastamyk wrote: post #114

Jcowell wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yup the solution isn’t always about restricting but educating. Teach them the Ill effects in a respectable matter and deal with the consequences in a respectable manner. Parents job isn’t to not make kids mess up but allow environment for them to fail and learn from those failures and to reduce (not eliminate) the fallout.

Nowadays, corporate and govt surveillance is pervasive. Consequences cannot be "dealt with" after the fact, and deletion is no longer an option. Mistakes are a part of your "permanent record," (with a nod to Jane's Addiction). It's not like the old days when you knew they'd find a Playboy magazine eventually.

For a sec I thought you were talking about Snowden's Book

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250237231

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#135

Post by markovbot » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:17 PM UTC

vfclists wrote: post #17

Do you guys mind not providing links to website that insist that you they allow you to every damn data collection agency to track you before you enter?

site does not load with javascript disabled. But does show me a tag that implies it's a Facebook product, so I'm definitely not going to enable javascript.

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#136

Post by lupire » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:19 PM UTC

austincheney wrote: post #113

yowlingcat wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When it comes to parenting, I think the soonest you can healthily get your children to functioning with the independence and maturity of an adult (or at least the upper end of their age group), the better. And by contrast, the further you hold them back, so much the worse. What you're describing sounds like it would hold back your child's social development. I wouldn't recommend it.

Freeing children from nonsense like drugs and social media isn’t holding them back. My children’s social development occurs in the real world where they participate in sports and educational activities and spend time with friends offline. Social media isn’t real socializing.

Why are you on HN, instead of in the real world?

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#137

Post by austincheney » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:21 PM UTC

ben_w wrote: post #124

austincheney wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s not the centerpiece if you are doing your job as a parent. > Extreme rejection and rebellion is a logical outcome from that. If that’s the result then you are failing as a parent.

Network effects: your kids don’t get to hang out IRL if everyone else’s parents let their kids meet all their social needs from social media. Don’t get me wrong, I think the world would be a much better place if the big players in social media ceased to exist, but no single person can act as an island, and you need to understand the problem well enough to give your kids alternatives rather than just put your foot dow…

How is it an island if they socialize in the real world? They text their friends from the real world and share memes with each other all day. They don’t need a social media account to do any of that.

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#138

Post by austincheney » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:23 PM UTC

lupire wrote: post #136

austincheney wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Freeing children from nonsense like drugs and social media isn’t holding them back. My children’s social development occurs in the real world where they participate in sports and educational activities and spend time with friends offline. Social media isn’t real socializing.

Why are you on HN, instead of in the real world?

So that you can stalk me and downvote me.

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#139

Post by vmception » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:23 PM UTC

> Regardless, no one would argue that we should do away with in-person learning just because more time spent in the classroom appears to be associated with increased rates of attempted or completed suicide. But it is an upsetting insight, nonetheless.

This suggests that the predisposed or susceptible population is weeded out by adulthood, yes?

Seems like a good enough reason to keep the status quo, while others continue research about the actual reason, assuming there is consensus on decreasing it.

Re: Schools opened, suicide attempts in girls skyrocketed

#140

Post by lupire » Sat, Jul 24, 2021, 7:24 PM UTC

xwdv wrote: post #98

ianai wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That definitely looks like an impactful year from the graphs there. I think if I had kids I wouldn’t let them on such sites until 16/17 or never. Granted, I have a strong opinion against social media before this data.

This is the wrong approach. You must realize that every generation of youth from here on will face some unique challenges of their own, and the only way to overcome them is to help them tackle it head on and not let them become defeated by it. Attempting to time travel back to some simpler time is not an option. The simpler time is gone, and will never return. This is their life now.

Do your kids do meth? It's very popular now.