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Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

bbc.com

131–140 of 281 posts

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#131
post #68

My first thought: wow, the US is crazy, I’m glad they don’t have this in the UK! Then I remembered that I was at a famous boarding school for five years, the most miserable years of my life. Thirty years later I’m still coping with the aftereffects. I think of that place as a form of institutionalised child abuse, and frankly if someone pipebombed it, I would not shed a tear. One simple thing: it wasn’t authoritarian…

I absolutely empathise, as a fellow survivor of a ridiculously expensive prison. I boarded from six until seventeen, when I finally finished and got the hell out of dodge. My sister, who attended the same secondary school as me, and had previously been at a coddled US private day school, was almost ruined by her experiences. Over a decade of therapy later, and she’s beginning to live.

Throughout, it was (often school-endorsed) tribal warfare and arbitrary justice at the hands of masters and prefects. Eat or be eaten. It churned out future politicians.

We had literal knife-fights in the dormitories. It was normal to drag someone out of bed at 3am and beat the shit out of them with doorknobs. My dorm-mates, aged 14, kept a friend of mine cocooned in duct tape, upside down in a wardrobe, for an entire school day. I found him that evening during prep, and took a cricket bat to the ringleader. The poor bastard got detention and satisfecit for jocking classes. I was suspended.

I once had septicaemia from an infected wound, and the matron’s response was to fling a mop at me as I lay on the kitchen floor in a puddle of pus and blood while telling me to “clean up your fucking mess”. I blacked out at that point, and the aforementioned friend saved my life by calling an ambulance - I awoke in hospital weeks later. She was actually, unbelievably, fired over the incident.

So much of my behaviour, two decades on, is still driven by my experiences there, and the same applies to those few of my cohort I’m in touch with or aware of the fates of. Constant paranoia that you’re going to be double-crossed or arbitrarily beaten, a complete lack of faith in institutions of any variety, and bitterness and contempt for those who did this to me (my parents, the bastards that ran the schools (some of whom are now gratifyingly in prison)).

They should be illegal.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#132
post #63

Cynthia remembers her daughter as a bright, thoughtful and athletic young girl who had always done well academically until she began suffering from mental health problems aged 14. Her struggles led her to become suicidal and begin experimenting with illegal drugs. When Erica was admitted to hospital and excluded from school, the family felt frightened and out of their depth. I am reminded of this piece from a few day…

You already reach a lot of people with your posts on HN. You are one of the few names I recognise and I always appreciate your comments. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Yup, was just skimming on my phone and I correctly guessed who commented before even reading the username :) the name brand recognition is there!

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#133

The "troubled teens industry" definitely has a lot of weird stuff going on. Some of the institutions are are bad-faith operations that were always scams (or worse); some were well-intentioned but were managed in a way that produced abuses nonetheless. Maybe a few actually did a good job helping out troubled kids, but it does not seem to be the norm. This is perhaps a place where internet culture has been somehow ahea…

A teen I know was committed for anorexia. It's obligatory when you hit a certain body weight. Another teen there slit her wrists with something sharp she managed to pull out of a wall. She didn't do much damage to herself. The nurse patched her up and tied her to her bed, all the while degrading and abusing her verbally. Kids wrote a letter to the doctor in charge, complaining about the nurse, but the nurse was back at work soon after. The number of hours she gets was reduced, I believe. This is a public institution in a first world country. A caring and therapeutic mindset is just too much to ask of some people or places.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#134
post #68

My first thought: wow, the US is crazy, I’m glad they don’t have this in the UK! Then I remembered that I was at a famous boarding school for five years, the most miserable years of my life. Thirty years later I’m still coping with the aftereffects. I think of that place as a form of institutionalised child abuse, and frankly if someone pipebombed it, I would not shed a tear. One simple thing: it wasn’t authoritarian…

Brutal reform schools/camps can be found anywhere. Here's one in Japan whose headmaster was convicted of beating two students to death: https://www.csmonitor.com/1999/0218/p12s1.html

So many distractions https://ibb.co/Xby2rKC

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#135
post #11

If anyone's interested in a first hand account of this type of thing there's good webcomic: https://elan.school/ I haven't checked in a bit but I think he's still releasing new chapters.

Holy shit. That was visceral. My heart breaks for those poor kids. Thanks for posting that.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#136
post #36
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Isn't it already abuse?

Great, then we just need enforcement which is much simpler than new laws and also doesn't require lynch mobs.

"Lynch mob" in this case is people talking abput their own experiences.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#137
post #11

If anyone's interested in a first hand account of this type of thing there's good webcomic: https://elan.school/ I haven't checked in a bit but I think he's still releasing new chapters.

This sent me down a rabbit hole. I watched the trailer for The Last Stop, and now I'm inconsolable.

My experience at a boarding school in Australia was similarly themed, though nowhere near this extreme. I feel I ought now to write to my old dormitory master — my own Nurse Ratched — and remind him of some of the abuse.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#138
post #125
post #40

I went to one of these places when I was 13. Same thing, picked up in the middle of the night, and sent to a wilderness program that turned into 18 months of boarding school. The school was burnt down by the students a few years after I left and I got a couple thousand dollars in a class action lawsuit when it came out that they were hiring unlicensed therapists and admitting students who should have been in intensiv…

I'd say that's how childhood looks like for the majority of people on this planet outside of the first-world protective umbrella. Imagine growing up in war-torn Africa, drug-ridden slums of South America or fanatical Middle East with daily executions.

> Imagine growing up in war-torn Africa, drug-ridden slums of South America or fanatical Middle East with daily executions.

This sentence is so ignorantly woke that it has come full-circle and it is blatantly racist.

Latin America is much, much more than drug-ridden slums, war hasn't torn apart all of Africa - and many countries have recovered from such strife -, and many people in the Middle East live under moderate versions of the Sharia that don't entail gruesome "daily executions" like in ISIS-controlled territories.

About 700M people in the world live in absolute poverty nowadays, compared to about 80% in the 1800s [1]. There is no factual evidence that the "majority" of people in the world live in the abject conditions that you describe. In fact, many people now live in relative material poverty compared to Western standards, but in safety, dignity and prosperity.

We can argue all day about how there is a lot of work yet to be done or how at the extremes wicked expressions of evil continue to exist, but this savage and false interpretation of the world is completely out of place.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_threshold

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#139
post #99
post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Enders game is a fiction. And while military boarding schools (and any closed seclude communities) in fact do have abuse systems amd are prone to bullying issue, there is zero evidence the abuses are best way to teach things. Being strip searched does not fixes mental health issues. Really.

Indeed, children need love in order to be able to give it (and be able to receive it). It seems better to me to keep them in the “circle of love” than to send them off to the well known circle of abuse.

Very often there's no choice. Either something under your control, or CPS comes and takes the kid away. Schools even do this to avoid dealing with abusive teachers and the like, or just to get rid of a specific child.

And that would be this CPS:

https://www.kansascity.com/news/special-reports/article23820...

The idea that justifies the power of CPS, that these sorts of "measures" are taken in the interest of the child, are totally ridiculous upon inspection. Not because there aren't any problems, but because these "solutions" are so much worse.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#140
post #68

My first thought: wow, the US is crazy, I’m glad they don’t have this in the UK! Then I remembered that I was at a famous boarding school for five years, the most miserable years of my life. Thirty years later I’m still coping with the aftereffects. I think of that place as a form of institutionalised child abuse, and frankly if someone pipebombed it, I would not shed a tear. One simple thing: it wasn’t authoritarian…

This video is incredibly hard to watch. I wonder what kind of abuse goes on today. https://youtube.com/watch?v=l-1Made2BVk

It often gets taking down in the UK. You can search for Phoenix and aria abuse.

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