Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up • Hacker News Board

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#131

Post by dbsmith83 » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:50 PM UTC

marcinzm wrote: post #39

oblio wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You tried to be clever and it backfired :-) What was wrong with a "be bolder"/"be more assertive"/"don't be afraid of taking credit for your work"?

> What was wrong with a "be bolder"/"be more assertive"/"don't be afraid of taking credit for your work"? I don't see those as useful since it doesn't provide the person any actual guidance or reference point. What does assertive mean? What should I exactly do? How do I do it? "Act like X" provides a well known reference point that they can use to adjust their behavior based on. They can remember all the times they'v…

"Act like X" in this situation is not a well known reference point and not a good way to express the idea. Know how we know that? Because the person who said it offended someone and then got reported. Please, quit trying to justify using racially-charged language in this situation

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#132

Post by anonfornoreason » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:50 PM UTC

throwaway20222 wrote: post #79

I also work in a very “woke culture.” In fact, as a straight, white, cis man I am in the extreme minority. I have been told that I can’t do my job which includes negotiating with LGBTQ+ companies because I am an “old, white, cis guy and there is always an unfair power dynamic there” just because of my identity. It is discrimination plain and simple, but I literally stand to have my career derailed if I fight back. On…

If the company is discriminating against you and like others, why would you still believe in their mission, or at least their ability to carry it out? Why not move to a more sane company that doesn’t have as many mines you might inadvertently step on?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#133

Post by baby » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:51 PM UTC

throwaway_-_-_- wrote: post #18

Creating a throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm not an investor but someone who is in a position to make key decisions about peoples' careers and give advice, and I do have a bit of a trick I use for this. There was one black female mentee who I noticed was timid in taking credit for her work. I had recently attended a diversity panel where someone in a similar role as me said that in a similar situation, and her advic…

As an Asian guy I probably would have reported you if you had told me something like this :D

My advice to you: "Think about what you would have told a white man"

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#134

Post by dang » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:51 PM UTC

jhatemyjob wrote: post #117

Murderers, AND covid!! Just wear a mask!!!! It *literally* saves lives!!!

Please don't.

We detached this comment from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26613220.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#135

Post by adflux » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:51 PM UTC

MeinBlutIstBlau wrote: post #120

throwaway_-_-_- wrote: post #18

Creating a throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm not an investor but someone who is in a position to make key decisions about peoples' careers and give advice, and I do have a bit of a trick I use for this. There was one black female mentee who I noticed was timid in taking credit for her work. I had recently attended a diversity panel where someone in a similar role as me said that in a similar situation, and her advic…

South park did an episode on that mentality where cartman helped minority kids in an inner city school graduate.

How can I reach these kiiiiiiiidssss

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#136

Post by nonplussed » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:51 PM UTC

ImprobableTruth wrote: post #64

steve_g wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Think about what a white man would do" seems completely ambiguous to me. It's not a clear way to communicate. It would be better to follow up "I see you're hesitating to take credit for your work" with specific examples of what she might be able to say. Or you could give examples of behavior that people she knows have exhibited. Even if "what a white man would do" wasn't emotionally charged (and it is), it's not a g…

No matter how dumb it is, in what way is it ambiguous? How could you possibly interpret it in any other way than 'be more confident/less hesitant in taking credit'?

It's ambiguous because white men don't all act the same way. There are plenty of non confident, hesitant white men.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#137

Post by MeinBlutIstBlau » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:52 PM UTC

Der_Einzige wrote: post #9

Reminds me of the phenomenon recorded of men avoiding women after the original #metoo thing. Part of this is that I think that men feel they are walking on egg shells. The kinds of male assertiveness that my wife found attractive when she met me also can leave women who aren't into this assertiveness feeling harassed. I feel that we need to be clear more about what is "desirable" masculinity it "desirable assertivene…

Didn't you see the pew research poll of male virginity at like 25%?

Were already there. And it's not gonna get better.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#138

Post by throwitaway12 » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:52 PM UTC

baby wrote: post #116

throwaway20222 wrote: post #79

I also work in a very “woke culture.” In fact, as a straight, white, cis man I am in the extreme minority. I have been told that I can’t do my job which includes negotiating with LGBTQ+ companies because I am an “old, white, cis guy and there is always an unfair power dynamic there” just because of my identity. It is discrimination plain and simple, but I literally stand to have my career derailed if I fight back. On…

had to google what cis is: > A cisgender person (sometimes cissexual, informally abbreviated cis) is one whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth. For example, someone who identifies as a woman and was identified as female at birth is a cisgender woman. The word cisgender is the antonym of transgender.

Thanks, would have never known something so bizarre.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#139

Post by hackflip » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:52 PM UTC

asjldkfin wrote: post #28

I feel like history is going to look at this phenomenon as a strange curiosity, the same way we look at the Inquisition or the Salem Witch Trials today or even some of the communist revolutions. People will say "It's pretty unbelievable that happened, because no sane individual would ever condone something so extreme."

I suspect (most) individuals are behaving rationally (in the own best interest), but in aggregate it leads to the group collectively behaving incredibly irrationally.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#140

Post by tlogan » Sun, Mar 28, 2021, 7:53 PM UTC

Sadly, the current direction in the industry is: “let’s cover our ass”. Which eventually ends up with: less mentoring for women, less promotion, etc.

The problem is that our system and society will not reward companies which do right things (hire, promote, etc.) but it will punish companies for slight irregularities.