The Spoon Theory (2003) • Hacker News Board

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#131

Post by chromanoid » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 1:30 AM UTC

notatrumper wrote: post #129

chromanoid wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, nobody should feel alone. The spoon theory helped the author to feel a bit less alone, because her friend who did not understand her, could understand her a little bit more with the spoon theory. Her friend probably thought, "hey I also sometimes feel a lack of spoons". But the enormous extent the author has to deal with spoon management still surprised her friend. It surprised me too. I don't think it's ok to…

That's again the classic power games bullshit. "You could never understand me", "It's impossible for me to understand you" and so on. That's overly dramatic and self-aggrandizing. And in the case of the person who is sick, also inducing unnecessary loneliness.

It not dramatic, simply the truth. What is so dramatic that I cannot fully understand somebody? I can perfectly live with that. I cannot fully understand you and I cannot fully understand the author. The author has a huge part of their life I cannot understand. Since I have children I can for example now better understand other parents, but I will never fully understand their individual struggles.

That is just acknowledging individuality and diversity. I will still demand stuff from those I cannot understand well. For example abiding to laws etc. Individuality does not automatically imply immunity to judgement or special treatment. You seem to think that.

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#132

Post by chromanoid » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 1:44 AM UTC

notatrumper wrote: post #130

chromanoid wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, I don't want you to feel something. I just think if you think the way you describe it, it's not very empathic and also not very thoughtful. And I wanted to tell you that in an attempt to give you another perspective on what padolsey wrote. I can live with you not being empathic or thoughtful. I just failed to give you another in my mind morally and intellectually superior perspective. I wanted to give it to you f…

You don't want anything from me, yet you accuse me of not being emphatic. Or you just want to help me to communicate better, but then, how about reading other people's comments without prejudice? The correct way to show empathy to you seems to be to show pity or say "oh my god it is so bad, I could never understand it, because I have it undeservedly so much better than you", or something along those lines? "You const…

> You don't want anything from me, yet you accuse me of not being emphatic.

So what? Isn't some dissent normal in a discussion. Not being emphatic is not the end of the world.

> how about reading other people's comments without prejudice?

I try to.

> Indeed, I asked myself the question, I think it is a valid one. I thought her description was interesting and I therefore upvoted it. But I also resented her for the "you are all so clueless and could never understand how hard it is for me" vibes. To be honest, I get some "identity politics" vibes from that,

So I don't feel those vibes. I think it's a wrong impression and a sign of you reading it without good faith.

> it reminds me of the "white people can never know how bad it is for black people" or "men can never know how bad it is for women" nonsense, boiling down to "I'm so special". I don't like it also because it is so self-defeating.

It's not nonsense. It's the other way around too. But it's not boiling down to "I'm so special". The question is what do we do with this information, that there are experiences that differ from our own sometimes much more, sometimes much less. You seem to see a fight here that I don't see.

> The spoon woman seems to think everybody else has unlimited spoons, which is of course not true.

To her it seems to be unlimited which is very telling.

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#133

Post by eurasiantiger » Thu, Jan 28, 2021, 1:06 PM UTC

pjc50 wrote: post #53

eurasiantiger wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is a brain disorder: a diagnosable illness where the delta-FosB protein is overexpressed in the prefrontal cortex.

First I've heard of this. Somewhat contraindicated by the opiate addiction epidemic.

Opiates, like most drugs, cause overexpression of delta-FosB.