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A researcher on how to live a happy life

ox.ac.uk

131–140 of 199 posts

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#131

Happiness is not an ideal. Happiness is tepid water on the tongue. -- Holderlin Man does not desire happiness. Only the Englishman does. -- Nietzsche

In haven't read Nietzsche, but any time I read a quote of his, it always seems to appeal to the most power hungry part of my ego.

I have read some of it, but my take-away from everything changed completely once I saw somebody claiming he was being sarcastic.

And the thing is, I'm almost convinced he wasn't. But it still changed how I read it.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#132
I think advice like this is unfortunately just bullshit. It’s similar to cases of treating depression with drugs when most major depression is actually just a biological response to real, actual sadness and external events.

See for example: https://grasshoppermouse.github.io/2018/12/16/seven-reasons-...

Of course there can be many reasons for depression or unhappiness. Some people sincerely can benefit from medication. Sometimes therapy is the right option.

But quite obviously the biggest factor is going to be circumstances. Happiness _should be_ a response to circumstances and improvement. It represents increased utility and benefit for you as a person and obviously the biggest part of that is your circumstances, physical, material, getting needs met, having resources and opportunities.

Some part of this can be about contentment or “zen” mental clarity or whatever, but clearly not the majority, or even a large minority.

I feel advice like this is meant to placate people and make them docile and capitulated to their circumstances and borderline lobotomize away their drive for things to be better by trying to change happiness from a fact of circumstances to an “attitude adjustment” - which is awful, no matter what positive spin you want to put on it.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#133

Some overlap with Stoicism here. From the Enchiridion of Epictetus: 1. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions. The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but…

Here are some of my favorite Epictetus quotes: Chapter 8 Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whatever way they happen: this is the path to peace. Chapter 9 Sickness is a problem for the body, not the mind -- unless the mind decides that it is a problem. Lameness, too, is the body’s problem, not the mind’s. Say this to yourself whatever the circumstance and you will find without fa…

> Sickness is a problem for the body, not the mind -- unless the mind decides that it is a problem

Sickness can affect how mind works very significantly just because of blood chemistry.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#134
Has anyone participated in the testing of the mobile app mentioned at around the 75% mark of the article? One reference they have on the landing page is describing the Experience-Sampling Method [1] - there seem to be a few existing applications that allow one to track how exactly they felt in a quantified manner at a point in time.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_sampling_method

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#135
post #39
post #37

So if you ask people if they’d be happier living in California or the Midwest, most people say California. Actually the regions have comparable life satisfaction, but people say California because they think of the weather and fail to take account of other things, such as the fact that California is full of tedious hippies. The author does not cite research about about how "tedious hippies" make people sad, nor demog…

I think it might be a joke.

At first I thought that parent didn't understand the joke. Now I think I might have not understood the meta-joke.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#136
> Actually the regions have comparable life satisfaction, but people say California because they think of the weather and fail to take account of other things, such as the fact that California is full of tedious hippies.

Didn't read past this. There's a way to get your point across & this is not it.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#137
For me the secret to happiness is to produce things. Or said another way: be productive. Make something. If you have a job where you make things you are good to go. Homes, cars, ships (in my case in my youth). If you sit at a desk all day processioning forms or work in a call center, find something to produce in your off hours, often called a hobby, but it could be a side gig. Write some code, write a book, paint a mural, whatever.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#138
post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This pretty much sums up Christian ethics.

Christian ethics is all about demanding a payment, ie. the promise that one's good deeds will be rewarded in afterlife.

No, we are all sinners, and Jesus paid the price for each one of us on the cross:

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." [Ephesians 2, 8-9 NKJV]

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us". [1 John 1, 8-10 NKJV]

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Very insightful. Please share more. I’ve been taking up meditation and bubiddism but still very much a novice. I find that as you open your mind and see through more things, in a way things gets less interesting. It’s that feeling that you’ve seen this movie before. Maybe this is normal for older people but I’m in my 20s and it feels very odd. How do you deal with that and not feel like a zombie.

It's often referred to as mindfulness, and it falls under cognitive behavioral therapy. I've had trouble finding useful links, so I'll repeat the practical info I was taught. Pretend your active focus or attention is like a fishing line. Pick a single thing, usually a physical object like a tree, and "cast" your focus onto that. Focus on specific parts of the tree, the bark, leaves, how the wind moves through it, how…

I’ve been practicing off an on for about ten years. I’m definitely not an expert. I like your explanation, but I think there’s more to it. Mindfulness doesn’t necessarily have to be about focusing on a particular thought. You can focus on nothingness and receive similar results. You can focus on a certain feeling for different results. Your focus object has a lot to do with what you get out of the experience. Additionally, the habit of recognizing what it feels like to not let your thoughts race can be powerful when your thoughts start racing at a later time.
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