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Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

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Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#131

Post by schtitt »

throwanem wrote: post #129
schtitt wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In a given person's life, there might be plenty of reasons why they can't be one or the other, but that's just me being a pedant. However, as I see it you can choose to invest time and resources into being 'useful' or 'interesting', but the one will usually divert said time and resources away from the other. E.g. you can do deep science, and help the scientific progress of humankind, or you can be 'interesting' like…

You're talking about fame. I wasn't; I took "interesting" to mean "not boring".

I think much of the original point still applies: Should I put mental resources into being perceived as 'not boring' or should I disregard all that and focus on doing what I do well? Maybe I catch a lucky break and somehow just have an interesting personality without having to do much, but then again, maybe not.

Recognition of one's work is a lot of the time a function of how 'not boring' you are, as well. Thus, if you do excellent work but don't advertise it, the next promotion will very likely not go to you.

This is, IMO, an inherent weakness in how humans perceive the world and I'm not looking for a fix, just a way to cope with it, since the injustice of it all sometimes really gets me down.

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#132

Post by throwanem »

schtitt wrote: post #131
throwanem wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're talking about fame. I wasn't; I took "interesting" to mean "not boring".

I think much of the original point still applies: Should I put mental resources into being perceived as 'not boring' or should I disregard all that and focus on doing what I do well? Maybe I catch a lucky break and somehow just have an interesting personality without having to do much, but then again, maybe not. Recognition of one's work is a lot of the time a function of how 'not boring' you are, as well. Thus, if y…

What gets you down isn't the injustice of it, if such there be - it isn't fair that some people are better at a given thing than others, but "fair" is something no one ever promised any of us life would be. What gets you down is that you can see how it would be a useful skill to have, but you don't want to invest the effort required to develop it. That's an internal contradiction, and those are uncomfortable to carry around. Either developing the skill, or abandoning the desire to have it, will resolve the contradiction. Just pick one and do it. You'll be fine.

And it's not even as though the skill is all that hard to develop! The first thing to know is that, to a good first approximation and in the general case, nobody in a social setting cares one way or the other about anyone else, so your actual personality doesn't really come into play here. What matters instead is that you be enjoyable to socialize with, and that's not a matter of personality but rather one mainly of wit, good cheer, and the ability to carry your share of a conversation. If you happen to have the kind of personality to which these traits come naturally, great! If you don't, they can be developed through observation, trial, error, and practice.

Worked for me, at any rate, and I've been a strong introvert all my life. Being so, I remain picky about when and how I socialize, because it costs me energy to do so and I don't always enjoy it - but socialization is a necessary aspect of full membership in a social species, and unless you can make a go of ornamental hermitage (good luck!), it's worth developing the skills to make the most of those social occasions in which you do necessarily participate.

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#133

Post by schtitt »

throwanem wrote: post #132
schtitt wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think much of the original point still applies: Should I put mental resources into being perceived as 'not boring' or should I disregard all that and focus on doing what I do well? Maybe I catch a lucky break and somehow just have an interesting personality without having to do much, but then again, maybe not. Recognition of one's work is a lot of the time a function of how 'not boring' you are, as well. Thus, if y…

What gets you down isn't the injustice of it, if such there be - it isn't fair that some people are better at a given thing than others, but "fair" is something no one ever promised any of us life would be. What gets you down is that you can see how it would be a useful skill to have, but you don't want to invest the effort required to develop it. That's an internal contradiction, and those are uncomfortable to carry…

I appreciate you taking the time to write this, and for bringing to my attention the concept of an ornamental hermit - that's today's 'huh' moment!

Just for the record, it sounds like I am in quite the same situation as yourself (introvert but with acquired social skills) so it's not all that bad, and part of my lament is actually for those who have less of a disposition for this than myself.

But from time to time there will be people who have more developed social skills but less developed 'deep knowledge' about what they're doing than myself, and seeing that the world in general recognizes them more than me (or people even more able than me) for doing things that I do better smarts. (Especially when they're really dickheads in disguise ;) )

A 'solution' would be to go even more all in to be even better socially, but, like you, it costs me energy to do so, and it's hard not to feel like other people for whom this is a natural skill will always have the advantage here. But it's even more - it's a matter of principle. I don't want to prostitute myself to get recognition, to put it bluntly.

And I guess that leads to the conclusion that I should then abandon the desire for recognition, since I'm not willing to accept the alternative. Which I am trying, I guess, but which is quite hard, and which leads me to such questions as the one that started this thread..

Again, thanks for giving your thoughts, it's good to get the truth straight now and then!

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#134

Post by Neliquat »

amelius wrote: post #110
justinjlynn wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

copying others is a sign of intelligence, being unwilling to choose something of value to copy is a sign of a lesser intelligence

IMHO it is more about values, and not so much about intelligence.

While somewhat unique, the two are not seperable.

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#135

Post by Neliquat »

throwanem wrote: post #112
jasonkostempski wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I happened to be playing with one when this article popped up in my RSS feed. It's my sons but it's on my desk because I tried repairing the cracked frame with super glue, for about the 5th time. It still works with the cracked frame and the repair didn't take this time because I mindlessly starting playing with it while the glue was still drying. We've had 3 around our house for about 2 weeks and everyone that lives…

Cyanoacrylate can't handle nonporous materials - as you're seeing, it dries so brittle that an incautious glance will snap it. Try epoxy instead; it's slower to cure and smells funny, but produces a much stronger bond, and doesn't have the same problems bearing mechanical loads. I like J-B Weld and J-B Kwik, which are strong and resilient as hell (you can fix tractor engines with them!) and double as a low-temperatur…

Or just sand/gouge the mating surfaces. The rougher they are, the more you can get away with the "wrong" adhesive.

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#136

Post by electricblue »

I feel like there's a very simple explanation the article either ignores or doesn't see: Kids were allowed to bring them to school for a while (till they became a distraction)...that's really all you need for a neat toy to become a sensation.

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#137

Post by electricblue »

I feel like there's a very simple explanation the article either ignores or doesn't see: Kids were allowed to bring them to school for a while (till they became a distraction)...that's really all you need for a neat toy to become a sensation.

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#138

Post by throwanem »

Neliquat wrote: post #135
throwanem wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cyanoacrylate can't handle nonporous materials - as you're seeing, it dries so brittle that an incautious glance will snap it. Try epoxy instead; it's slower to cure and smells funny, but produces a much stronger bond, and doesn't have the same problems bearing mechanical loads. I like J-B Weld and J-B Kwik, which are strong and resilient as hell (you can fix tractor engines with them!) and double as a low-temperatur…

Or just sand/gouge the mating surfaces. The rougher they are, the more you can get away with the "wrong" adhesive.

With metal or almost any plastic, you can do what you like to the surface, and cyanoacrylate still won't hold all that well - if you (correctly) use a very thin layer, it'll last longer, but that's not the same thing as really being reliable. Quicker and easier just to epoxy it once and be done.

Re: Fidget Spinners: Why Being Interesting Can Do More for You Than Being Useful

#139

Post by hw »

mhalle wrote: post #67

Seems like lots of people dismiss spinners as a fad or silly. They are a fad. But I celebrate the fact that they are generally simple mechanical objects that feel good in the hand. Not a doll, not a cheap molded plastic toy (ugh, Shopkins), not an electronic lump of stuff that will eventually leech into a landfill. (Yes, I know there are LED spinners, but that has it's own simple coolness.) I have enjoyed having ball…

I do think it's a fad. We have a few here we use at Reamaze just to destress and an occasional distraction and it works.
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