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“Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

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Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#121

Post by tootie »

littletimmy wrote: post #49

As a non-American, this was one of the biggest culture shocks I faced. On the surface, relationships in the US seem very transactional (not making the judgment that they are really transactional). For example, in the US a son would thank his parents for paying his college tuition. In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his…

My in-laws are from a culture that is one of the heaviest in terms of familial obligation. Parental or elder sibling authority is strictly observed. Once they relocated to the US, it only took a few years for them to realize they could tell their ornery older relatives to fuck off and not become social pariahs. They love America and want their kids to totally free of dependence on them.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#122

Post by adiM »

fareesh wrote: post #120
frandroid wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who is this 7 million people?

Christians, Sikhs, Buddhists, Jains and "Others" - since my cultural background is a combination of some of those, I'm fairly confident that the author's perspective does not reflect my community, and likely some of the other minority communities, of which India has 7 million people.

And even Hindus.

I grew up in North India and I was taught to say thank you to friends and even to family members e.g., say thank you after being offered snacks (what would be called hors d'oeuvres in the west), offered a chapati or additional daal or sabji during meals, etc.

I did not say thank you to bus or cab drivers, but often did say thank you to shopkeepers.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#123

Post by haphazardeous »

haphazardeous wrote: post #96
chatwinra wrote: post #70

As an English speaker, I agree with others above that this article misses a huge point about our language. Yes we use thank you a lot, even for some things people may consider 'trite'. I'm from the UK so I use it a HELL of a lot. But I want to call out 2 points based on this: 1. As mentioned above, just thanking someone can turn their day around, and most times I feel rude if I do not say it (that is my cultural upbr…

Are you being slightly passive-aggressive? That's what I understand if I see "Thanks" instead of "Many thanks!"

This was a joke guys.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#124

Post by ManFromUranus »

littletimmy wrote: post #49

As a non-American, this was one of the biggest culture shocks I faced. On the surface, relationships in the US seem very transactional (not making the judgment that they are really transactional). For example, in the US a son would thank his parents for paying his college tuition. In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his…

What if that system also fosters corruption and nepotism? Need to hire somebody for a job? family first (you owe them remember?), tender a contract (family first) the list goes on. You are a public servant, someone comes to your office to get you to do the job that you were hired to do, but they're not your family, you don't owe them anything... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_India

Yeah that system is better because it fosters closer family ties.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#125

Post by noxToken »

notNow wrote: post #102
marktangotango wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his parents wealth is his also, and later willingly contribute his earnings when his parents need anything. It is a difference in the degree to which individualism is the norm. This is very interesting, and brings to mind something I've been struggling with recently (I'm USA-ian by…

So, from that angle, I don't want my children to see my wealth as their wealth, or my success as their success. I would like them to view my success as the result of hard work and perseverance, and an example of what they can achieve, indeed, they can achieve more. I advise to look out for the opposite perspective or angle to this that it might be viewed as a form of abuse, unnecessary harshness or worse meagerness.…

I think there is a fine line between the two. When you look at upper-class society, you realize that giving your child everything can cause them to become spoiled without any perspective of the value of a dollar. If the money should dry up, they'll likely hit the ground hard. On the other end of the spectrum, you start to tip-toe into the, "I had to work 12 hour days. Why can't you do it?" territory.

The balance comes when showing them that food doesn't magically appear on the table while still acknowledging that life can still kick you in the rear in spite of you doing everything right. It's telling them that it's time for them to make their own way, but it's also putting out the crash mat when they're free falling.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#126

Post by harryh »

bpyne wrote: post #111
littletimmy wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hah, you're welcome. This is really interesting because it raises the question: what role does affluence have to play in all of this? In the case of my country, people usually aren't rich enough to save for retirement, nor are starting salaries high enough for young adults to stake out on their own. So parents help their kids right up to the point they can no longer work, and then kids take over to provide for the fa…

I think we need to have a better idea what's meant by "family ties". I'm from the US. My teammate on a project is a woman from India. (We're both working in the US.) She doesn't have children, but I have a 9yo daughter. We talk about differences in how my wife and I raise our daughter versus how she was raised. My wife and I follow the trend in the US of being very involved in our daughter's life. We walk her to scho…

Articles like this make me think the Indian way is better:

http://aeon.co/magazine/culture/children-today-are-suffering...

I'm about to have a kid (wife is 8 months pregnant) so I've been thinking about this some. Unfortunately though, a lot of this is culture and individual parents can't necessarily do a lot. It doesn't matter if I'd rather my kid play in a pick-up game instead of an organized league if all the other kids in the neighborhood are only in leagues.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#127

Post by novaleaf »

ManFromUranus wrote: post #124
littletimmy wrote: post #49

As a non-American, this was one of the biggest culture shocks I faced. On the surface, relationships in the US seem very transactional (not making the judgment that they are really transactional). For example, in the US a son would thank his parents for paying his college tuition. In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his…

What if that system also fosters corruption and nepotism? Need to hire somebody for a job? family first (you owe them remember?), tender a contract (family first) the list goes on. You are a public servant, someone comes to your office to get you to do the job that you were hired to do, but they're not your family, you don't owe them anything... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_India Yeah that system is bet…

a bit too snarky of a comment, but interesting tie in to corruption! I didn't think about that, but it does seem plausible.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#129

Post by sudoherethere »

fareesh wrote: post #101

I think it's important to point out that India is very culturally diverse. I have lived in Mumbai for 22 years, and Canada for 8 years. I have said "thank you" to people all my life. I do it consciously and sincerely - cashiers, rickshaw drivers, waiters, friends, peers, everybody. I don't think I've ever offended anybody - at least not that I know of. With regard to family - neither of my parents' respective familie…

I read that article and kept thinking it didn't sound like my family or friends at all. We are Pakistanis & Indians, American born, immigrants, and some back in motherland. Almost everyone I know from Indian/Pakistani culture always says "thank you".

So yes it must be cultural difference in certain part of India, it certainly doesn't represent the most of Indians I know.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#130

Post by pessimizer »

icebraining wrote: post #41
learnstats2 wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You feel gratitude when you receive change from the shop clerk and say "thanks, bye"? I know that many people are saying this robotically, but I personally feel genuinely grateful that the shop clerk has chosen to do this, and that they typically do a good job - providing me with a good level of service that greatly benefits me. I recognise that it is not a fun job and that clerks often have to suffer poor conditio…

It's obvious that it's appreciated Not around here, it isn't. I tried that three times, giving up after getting a mix of disinterest and hostility. Which frankly confirms my instincts, I only tried because I've learned not to assume that my preferences match the general public's.

> Not around here, it isn't. I tried that three times, giving up after getting a mix of disinterest and hostility.

Someone physically and/or verbally attacked you for thanking them? That's the only negative outcome that I can imagine, and what I'm reading when you say "hostility."

Lack of interest seems a typical result - are you expecting to be thanked for thanking people? Theoretically, that forms a chain never ends. I thank everyone for everything that they do for me; sometimes they reply with "you're welcome", sometimes our 'thank-you's collide because while I'm thanking them for their service, they're thanking me for my patronage, sometimes I get a smile, often I get no indication that I've said anything.

None of those are failures, because the goal was for me to thank people, not to be praised for thanking people.

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