A lot of people have already talked to you, and I'm only coming to this thread from my HN Daily digest. If you are still around and would like at least one more piece of input, I will say this: for me, one of the things that helped me was to realize that death (and by extension, suicide) freezes everything at its current state of lack of improvement, except that it causes a ripple of rather devastating negative effect upon anyone who ever was in contact with you, proportional to how much they cared about you.
Life can always improve. It has. It will. Through your own efforts or those you love. I am a few months shy of 41, and there are things I am on the cusp on that I truly thought would never happen throughout much of my 20s and 30s.
I give you four words, more true than anything else ever spoken: Depression lies. Anxiety lies. You cannot trust what they say to you.
I hope that you are still around and reading these words, even if you do not respond to anyone.