That all said, here is how I found "the doctor":
1. I was persistent. I saw lots of doctors. The 22 number I mention in my post is mostly just the specialists I saw - not even all the general practitioners I visited.
2. If I were to rank the doctors I saw, the better ones were either members of IFM (functional medicine), they were DOs (shady origins, but a more holistic viewpoint), and/or they were internal med doctors. Rheumatologists only seem capable of seeing certain things. Neurologists only seem to see certain things. In general, specialists were unable to see or care beyond their specialty. Which, I guess, is somewhat understandable. [The specialists did find clues, however, like the lesions and the hormone issues that eventually helped me find the underlying cause.]
3. I asked around for someone who had a good reputation as a diagnostician. I asked doctors, business leaders, and hospital administrators. Unfortunately, many doctors seem to pride themselves on their amazing diagnostics skills, whether they actually possess them or not. So, I also asked for "open-minded" and "compassionate." Compassion implies a good listener, which is probably the most important thing because you can't find a pattern if you didn't hear about it. Some of the worst doctors I visited were the famous ones. They were too busy to listen. IIRC, I think the final diagnosing doctor had been trained at a podunk med school in Cuba or something.
4. I was an informed patient. I used to work in the medical field (piss-collector, clinical drone, researcher, and software developer.) I researched extensively on my own. (This can backfire for some people, because they develop cyber-hyperchondria.) In any case, I knew - or learned enough - to get a lay of the medical landscape and I used that to my advantage.
5. I kept a 'journal' that listed what symptoms I had on what day, etc. - it helped me find patterns. Some organisms have a specific lifecycle, so that helped me in my own search. Sometimes the only pattern was that there was no pattern, but the journal exercise was still very helpful. Just be careful about looking like a nutjob if you carry a handwritten book of your woes into a doctor's office.
6. I was an inpatient patient. I know doctors are just average schmucks like the rest of us and they make mistakes, because I've worked with them. So, if a doctor didn't listen or was a jerk, I never went back. Some people think doctors are holy or something, and they continue going to visit a jackass in the hopes that something will change. That can kill you. That tendency is especially prevalent in older people.
7. I acted professionally when dealing with doctors. Enough of them thought that I was nuts that I didn't need to confirm their suspicions by acting too emotional or unreasonable. Even though I was often emotional, I kept it under wraps.
8. I tried to find doctors that kept up on the latest research, or that at least seemed to care about new research and treatments. To be honest, I knew more about the most current medical studies than any doctor I visited, including the final diagnosing physician. I was more motivated and I had more time on my hands. But I used my knowledge to separate out the doctors who read the bare minimum for their CEs from the ones that were genuinely interested in their field and read broadly for their own benefit.
9. To restate an above point: I never brought up my ideas about what I had until I gave the doctors a chance to give me their ideas, because I didn't want to bias them. I had to remain open-minded too. You may not like the answer you get, but if there is compelling proof about it you have to accept it.
10. Read and know your insurance policy if you're in the US, and fight for your rights.