121–130 of 167 posts
I am a 32 year old male from South America... here a handshake is way to formal for most interactions... For example... You go out with 2 friends for a beer... they bring a 3rd friend you don't really know... it's ok to shake his hand, but if you kiss him, nobody will be offended... Scenario 2 : You are at a birthday party/after office/whatever social gathering, and you are presented a person from the opposite sex DO…
Do not hug someone without asking first. Also, don't do the open-arms-moving-in-and-then-asking-for-a-hug. People who might feel uncomfortable hugging you now feel socially forced to. Ask the first time, and ask if you can hug them again in the future. If you're really feeling awkward, start out with a hand wave as you approach the person... either they'll wave back, or try to initiate a handshake/hug with you. Eithe…
Nope. I usually know when a hug will be good and I'm ready to be wrong. I'm not going to pussyfoot my way through every slightly-more-intimate interaction I take in this life.
When I run into a male acquaintance, I know exactly how to greet him: shake his hand. Doesn’t matter how long we’ve known each other. I even shake my dad’s hand. Maybe I'm too friendly or completely oblivious to how socially awkward and creepy I am, but I hug many of my close male friends, even though I am a 'cisgendered heterosexual male.' In a way I am saddened that the author is not on 'hugging terms' with is own…
My favourite definition of "awkwardness" comes from Steven Pinker: it's the uncomfortable feeling you get when you realize that your concept of your relationship with someone else doesn't match their concept. The intensity of awkwardness roughly corresponds to the magnitude of difference in relationship concepts. For example, I was at a dinner party recently and greeted a female friend with a handshake. She said, "Th…
I'm more concerned about the strength of handshakes. I have a bias against anyone who actively squeezes my hand with anything beyond a simple, firm grasp. It comes across as macho, like you've got something to prove, and therefore untrustworthy. I'd like to point out here that I'm admitting a bias rather than expressing an opinion. EDIT: at least now I'm approaching something resembling adulthood I don't have the pro…
Granted, I am the kind of girl who reads Hacker News, but, for what it's worth, it's often awkward for us, too. For men or women! Hug or handshake? Or wacky Euro kiss thing? I find myself hugging after first meet, unless we're at work or in a professional context, in which case I default to handshake. The awkwardness occurs at, for example, work parties, where the party leads me to default to hug, but then I second g…
> Act with confidence, and any potential awkwardness washes away... Please, no. Not everyone wants to hug you, not everyone wants to kiss you, not everyone wants to have sex with you. Default to no physical contact unless it is very clear that both parties are happy with that contact. Acting with confidence is simply pressuring the other party into agreeing.
You're okay with handshakes? That's physical contact.
It's not about what you or some other introvert wants to do. It's a question of social norms. You either conform, or you'll be considered to be antisocial.
You should really try to understand the difference between a hug/cheek-kiss and sex. Where in this thread has anyone suggested that sex between strangers meeting for the first time, business associates, coworkers or even friends is a social norm?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
What? I would absolutely go in for the hug on Hillary, especially if we've met and had meaningful exchanges. I think it's weird that you think hug -> low respect.
I actually have hugged Hillary Clinton (seriously!), even though I'm quite certain she had no idea who I was. It's awesome, everyone should do it.
I don't like shaking hands (business handshakes are fine) or hugging unless it's a loved one or someone you are really close to and generally want to feel the embrace from the hug. Otherwise I think it's just pointless touching to signify some non-existant closeness. What's wrong with just saying "hi"? Or a friendly fist-bump if you want to do something more fun? I especially hate meeting a new group of people and ha…
I am from Germany and greet my friends with a ‘hi’ and no handshakes, especially in academic backgrounds. At the THW, people shook hands, which was fine with me, too. Furthermore, handshakes if you meet for the first time in any context, unless the group is so large you don’t get introduced to everyone individually. Hugs are for close family and I will make it very obvious that I don’t want to hug you if you try.