Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

nik.art

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

121–130 of 229 posts

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#121

Post by dentemple »

stego-tech wrote: post #57
stouset wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m curious why you say you know some of those things will never happen. It’s certainly possible that if you’re extremely tall you probably won’t fit comfortably in some sports cars. And there are some medical conditions that preclude any kind of participation in martial arts. But barring those, is it possible you don’t know those things but are instead conceding them?

Nope, it’s a definite never for those ones I listed for a combination of the very reasons you specified. Medical reasons and/or basic physics of height.

Has a doctor restricted you from doing martial arts specifically?

I ask because there are certainly lighter martial arts programs out there that even folks with medical and/or mental issues can still do and gain benefit from them.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#122

Post by lintfordpickle »

pillefitz wrote: post #106
t0duf0du wrote: post #102

I wanted to join the army as a kid, was infatuated by the forces. I had memorised spec-sheets, obsessed over the operations and used to be awestruck everytime I saw someone in olive green. Tried out a couple of times in college and was deemed medically unfit. I tried again last year but didn't make the cut either. Now I have crossed the age limit and will remain a code monkey for the rest of my life. Nothing too bad.…

What's so great about the army? To me, it appears to be one of the most unethical occupations one could have.

[dead]

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#124

Post by globular-toast »

gmuslera wrote: post #11

We have to distinguish "our" dreams from, let's say, cultural ones. A lot of what we want, what we perceive as living a full life, having fun and so on comes from culture (and increasingly in the last decades/centuries, with mass media). Besides that, we can't achieve everything, we could not be everywhere when something interesting happens there, at the very least because a lot of those things happened in the past,…

Yeah, this is why it's important to block ads from your life wherever possible. Other people profit from telling you what your dreams are.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#126

Post by SwtCyber »

stego-tech wrote: post #50

It’s the not-knowing that is the most haunting. I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that. I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well. Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clot…

I think this gets at an important distinction: some dreams are painful because they are impossible and some are painful because they are unresolved

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#127

Post by SwtCyber »

CobaltFire wrote: post #34

I read the article and fight with this from a different angle. My son was diagnosed with cancer at 3, then during chemo it became abundantly clear that he had far more severe autism than we originally thought. Could have been made worse by the chemo and trauma; no real way to know. Now my wife and I have had to give up all the dreams we had for when I retired from the military. A few good moves means that I actually…

Unlived dreams are not always abandoned because we choose something else. Sometimes they are taken by circumstance

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#129

Post by imaginationra »

Having dreams tethered to physicality if you are not physically gifted(Snowboard champion) and/or dependent on gate kept power structures allowing you in ("famous" film director) are dreams built for disappointment if you don't meet the required pre-requisites-

This is why the realms of art and creativity are great substrates in which to plant the seeds of your dreams in-

IF your dreams are to make/create things nothing can stop you these days except yourself with all the tools and knowledge available now- you can't control the outcome after you've made the thing- but the happiness and joy comes from the excitement of the happy accidents on the journey and the pride of completion of course-

I'm an artist/filmmaker/animator/dev/musician and the best moments of my life are still from creating things that almost no one sees- they get no acclaim- they win no awards- almost no one cares- but that doesn't matter as the joy comes from the creation- I'm happy with the works I create-

If your dream is to write a book, write a song, make a film, make a game, create a piece of software/useful tool, make a painting etc- the skill and budget required for these things is lower than ever-

That is not to say it has been cheapened- especially with "AI" tools-

Idea is always king- always use your original ideas- never "AI" suggestions and the things you make are yours, forever.

Absolutely ZERO of my dreams will be unlived, except the project I won't finish because I will die while it is progress- so I'll die happy anyway doing the work I love (shrug)

TLDR: make realistic dreams that depend on your willpower and creativity not your physical attributes and you will live all your dreams except one.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#130

Post by TrackerFF »

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that dreams are often just that, dreams. Once they are realized, many will not live up to the expectations.

Managing your expectations plays a big part.

So at least for me, that knowledge has helped. Another discovery I made, was that some of my best experiences and decisions have been by pure chance. Things I never planned to do, or had any desire to do, but turned out to be more than I could ever imagine.

It’s ironic how some things you plan for your whole life, but never get to do, while some things you never planned for, ended up overshadowing those initial dreams.

And lastly, many things in life is like a bus stop - there’ll come another bus if you just wait.

In my professional life I chases “prestige” for the sake of prestige, and ended up hating those things.

Of course, there are things I really wanted to do, but never got the chance to, and I’m too old to do now, but that’s just something I’ll live with.

My FOMO and regrets plummeted as I started approaching 40.

Post reply on HN