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Men who stare at walls

alexselimov.com

121–130 of 346 posts

Re: Men who stare at walls

#121
post #105

When I was a kid, I would often sit on my bed and stare at the wall. My Dad would walk by my room and ask if everything was ok. I would always say "yeah", since I was literally just thinking. It's a great feeling to just stare at a wall and think. My first thought is usually, "If I could think about anything right now, what would it be?" And this frees my mind up to think about what I want to think about.

> When I was a kid, I would often sit on my bed and stare at the wall. My Dad would walk by my room and ask if everything was ok. I would always say "yeah", since I was literally just thinking.

Me too. And all I wanted was a Pepsi.

Re: Men who stare at walls

#122

Is this not a form of meditation? I've never been able to keep a meditation habit, but my understanding is that meditation techniques often feature closing your eyes and focusing on breathing, body parts or some other irrelevant thing, it sounds like staring at a wall would serve the same purpose.

I'd consider them to be pretty dramatically different; meditation can be associated with deliberate focus and a kind of religious devotion, while just staring at a wall can be the absence of focusing or any kind of defined practice

Re: Men who stare at walls

#123
Some of us "stare" at our breath instead. That is, you put your attention upon the feeling of breath in the tip of your nose (or something like that).

It's nice because your eyes don't need to be open for it, so they don't get all dried out and itchy.

Re: Men who stare at walls

#124
post #80

I don't get this productivity hacking mindset. You're suffering some sort of burnout, and you want to try some hack to be _more_ productive? Looking at a wall so I can crank out _more_ work? No, screw that. If I'm ever feeling that way, I'm going to try and work _less_ and take _more_ breaks.

[deleted]

Re: Men who stare at walls

#125
I think this is actually valid, if you think about it. Some days I go by with constantly thinking be it about work, in messages, or simply on social media. Taking the time to stare at walls actually provides ability to step back, calm down, and actually random thoughts will start appearing out of which some can be insightful.

Re: Men who stare at walls

#126
post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who's maintained a meditation practice since 2013, this is definitely meditation. And by "maintain a practice", I mean it's more like something I return to with frequency and less a daily compulsion. Focusing on the breathe or ambient sounds is "easy", and is precisely the reason meditation is seemingly difficult. The mind craves more than simplicity; for some this occurs after a few seconds, for others af…

I was taught basic breathing meditation from a Vietnamese nun; but I'm not an expert. There are so many variations that I don't understand. I don't know much about Zen or it's take on meditation or mindfulness. On meditation, I know when I do it right, but have trouble helping people learn. I have trouble when I most need it (highly stressed), as I have the most trouble taking the time to relax without feeling too gu…

The meditation I practice is based on non-duality techniques. Mind needs a problem to solve so ask the question "Where am I ?". Anything that you can see both physically and mentally is not you. You are not the table, the chair, your hands, your legs, your face, your sensations, your feeling, your thoughts, your emotions. Neti-Neti (not this, not this).

You are something beyond all this. Try find it.

By going through the mind goes in a trance unable to think any thoughts. I find it better approach compared to try to disciplining the mind.

Re: Men who stare at walls

#127
If you get in the habit of doing this when thinking, it can bomb interviews with interviewers who don't know that's something that some people do.

In-person interview: the majority of people want you to be making frequent eye contact, and are less comfortable when you aren't. Some people also hear folk myths that looking a certain direction is a tell for deception or fabrication. ("Up and to the left means lying; up and to the right means hungry.")

On videoconf interview: if you look away when thinking, people might think you're looking at (or listening to) AI output or a human collaborator, to cheat.

(OTOH, you might be better off finding thoughtful colleagues already familiar with introvert and neurodiverse thinkers, who are aware that many great engineers are also nerds, and who include that within "culture fit".)

Re: Men who stare at walls

#128
post #87

Sounds like this might be activating the default mode network? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Default_mode_network

DMN starts when you are doing something trivial and start thinking about something completely unrelated.

It's kinda like falling asleep, except more coherent.

Re: Men who stare at walls

#129

Is this not a form of meditation? I've never been able to keep a meditation habit, but my understanding is that meditation techniques often feature closing your eyes and focusing on breathing, body parts or some other irrelevant thing, it sounds like staring at a wall would serve the same purpose.

I've never liked the way meditation makes me feel, but I really like doing "guided relaxation". To an extent that I think they have to be different somehow, even though a lot of people would probably say they're the same thing.

I feel like staring at walls is similar.

Re: Men who stare at walls

#130
post #92

The spirit of this is correct, but a better approach to this is going for a walk with just your thoughts. Yes, that means no phone, no headphones, just you and your brain enjoying a walk. Let your mind wonder and be free.

There’s a lot of research on restorative environments (usually nature/outside)being good for focus. I definitely try to spend as much time outside as I can, but for some reason the wall works better for that 5-10 minutes. Being outside is much more enjoyable though haha

I remember first hearing about this from the book Deep Work: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_restoration_theory
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