This is exactly my experience (and I've been doing this fo 20 years now). Saw it on every job I had. The usual bs is "we are developing new performance and grows framework" "promotions will happen on next cycle" "we are reorganizing now" "we want to add more transparency" etc.
But somehow they always know who to call when shit hit th fan.
Don't fall for it. Look for another job once you see this. Looking for new job nowadays take a while and it's better to be employed during this process.
The three year myth
121–130 of 191 posts
Re: The three year myth
#122For anybody that is interested in a clinical psychologist's take, here is mine… This article triggers an overwhelming feeling that something is missing in the story. Of course, being fired is genuinely painful, and the author's emotional state is understandable. But I think there is a much better way to understand this situation that would be beneficial to the author. Please note that this is just a guess, and in rea…
It's very interesting to read this, because it's exactly the vibe I got too.
Re: The three year myth
#123On one hand there are places that will look out for job-hoppers so the 3yr rule is good. But for promotions, job-hopping is the best strategy.
The part people don't talk about much is the toll it takes on you when you switch jobs. It's like moving but worse. It's not like switching your wardrobe or something, it's a very drastic and intense change.
There really is no hard-and-fast rule with these things, you just have to figure out your industry, country, region and other details and determine what is best.
An advice I could have used earlier myself is the whole networking and building contacts thing. This is both internally and in your industry. There is literally nothing more important for your career than being likeable and building a reputation. Whether it's a promotion, better pay, or landing a better gig, focus on that as a priority.
In case what I'm saying isn't clear: be the biggest butt-kissing sycophant possible, and never be negative or disagree unless you're very confident that's absolutely what's expected of you by the right people. You don't get paid for how hard you work, you get paid for how valued you are. I think that's a bit obvious, but what many miss is that it isn't how valuable you are for the company that matters, it isn't even how valuable you are to your team, or to delivering some goal that matters. What matters is how valuable you are to individuals. Competency matters, but only as a 2nd or 3rd point of order. It matters how well you're liked, but also how good you are at improving how well-liked others are.
Sometimes there just aren't any opportunities where you are, nothing can be done about that other than jumping ship. However, expecting to be promoted, or paid more because of "the rules", that doesn't work well in real life.
Re: The three year myth
#124Earlier quoted context omitted.
I find that there is a big difference between how people that use the fact that they are "A perfectionist OCD person". Some wield it at a weapon. Some use it as an excuse. Some start with the assumption that it can be harness into something good. And some beat them self up over it uses it to degrade them self. I think its most helpful to view it as a "know thy self" data point, and not make it someone else problem, b…
> not make it someone else problem A great way for cultivating internalized self hatred and burn out. You approach isn't wrong per se and might be the right one for some people. Some people need to be told to take more personal responsibility But other people take too much personal responsibility already and only blame themselves and need to be told that they have a disability and it is their right to ask for accessi…
The people to who take too much responsibility are not the one that "makes it other peoples problem", unless they are suffering from a dependent personality disorder.
And even then, consider rearranging what you just said in your reply. You are saying: You have to make it someone else problem to avoid self hatred and burnout.
There is a difference in relying and getting support from people, and being a jackass.
Re: The three year myth
#125Earlier quoted context omitted.
> My pattern recognition allows me to see connections and structure where neurotypical people only see chaos. I am often three, four, five steps ahead and can see potential problems and solutions so much earlier. A little humility would probably help a lot. Your post is already blaming everyone else for not listening to you. This isn't really about you thinking differently.
Oh I am sorry for highlighting one of the side effects of my crippling disability. I did not even present it as an advantage but as something that causes feelings of isolation but I guess I am bragging about it and need more humility. My brain's filtering function is defect. Where neurotypical people see one or two possible solution my brain automatically comes up with ten which is great for creativity but also paral…
Neither ADHD nor OCD have anything to do with communication style, 'being five steps ahead,' or patterns of interpersonal friction. The only symptom that remotely fits here is impulsive speech, and that's sporadic, it doesn't produce a consistent pattern of seeing yourself as above your colleagues, and its not related to the content style of the speech.
This is something i see allot of. People project what they want onto their pet diagnosis, without knowing what the diagnosis actually is. And god know what people mean when they say neurodevergent these days. The only thing i know for certain is that it never maps on to anything from real spectrum disorders.
OCD is ritualistic and compulsive behavior, often performed to decrease a negative feeling. It has nothing to do with anything described in the article or this thread. What does fit the described behavior: Rigidity, perfectionism, a need to do things the 'correct' way regardless of social cost,is OCPD, which is something completely different. And there is another diagnosis that is blindingly obvious but i wont name it out here.
There should also be noted that there are plenty of extremely smart people who don't end up in this pattern. If you're looking for myths, start with the myth of the troubled genius.
And a gift of seeing all possible solutions obviously doesn't extend to the interpersonal friction you're describing. The person you're replying to tried to point this out, and tried to communicate that you are missing something about the situation. I doubt it's the first time someone has. This reply is itself an example that just confirms the hypothesis: Someone offered feedback, and instead of sitting with it, you defended, reframed, and redirected blame outward. That's exactly the pattern I described.
Re: The three year myth
#126On one hand there are places that will look out for job-hoppers so the 3yr rule is good. But for promotions, job-hopping is the best strategy. The part people don't talk about much is the toll it takes on you when you switch jobs. It's like moving but worse. It's not like switching your wardrobe or something, it's a very drastic and intense change. There really is no hard-and-fast rule with these things, you just hav…
My asset has always been to be a well timed prediction engine.
But it only works if people already rely on you and listen to you.
Re: The three year myth
#127Earlier quoted context omitted.
> If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. This is a rather clueless and ignorant opinion to have. Your job is what pays your mortgage/rent and your bills, and it's a key factor in where you chose to live. Your job has a fundamental impact in your personal life and your family's experience. Once you are fired, odds are your life will change rad…
I think they are saying you should look at the employment relationship more generally and see that this holds across the board. It’s more like a woman breaking up with a man and someone else says “realize that all men are pigs”.
That's an interesting parallel. I suspect the point is that entering all relationships with the expectation that all men are pigs carries certain benefits, but then it also likely has costs, such as an inability to form truly deep connections.
Re: The three year myth
#128Earlier quoted context omitted.
I challenge you to think about the implications of if you were right. If employment is violence, we should end it. But then almost everybody would die. If paying for labor is violence, paying for a product is violence. Nobody should be allowed to buy or sell (or trade). But then everybody would die. In a good economic transaction, whether purchase of product or labor, both parties end up happy with what they got out…
I’m not saying that violence is bad. Farming is violence. Mining is violence. It’s a compromise we make. But ending a session of it shouldn’t be traumatic. And yes, in many cases it’s a win/win. Without farming, many animals would have been hunted to extinction. Instead, they are amongst the most numerous on the planet, but that isn’t much consolation for the march to the slaughterhouse. Sacrifices are made. Compromi…
Losing your house because you couldn't pay the mortgage is violent, or at least backed by the threat of violence: what happens if you refuse to leave?
In a looser sense, so are having your utilities cut off, losing your children because you can no longer afford to care for them, skipping meals, driving an unregistered car that will get you into an altercation with the police, and everything else that comes as a result of poverty and unemployment.
I'm a little baffled by what you believe the consequences of a layoff are.
Re: The three year myth
#129there r companies that scale 100x in 3 years If you aren't scaling yourself as much then you're moving too slow
I am now eager to see your track record and how did you personally scale 100x in last 3 years (or ~1 000 000x in last decade)
in 2024 I made 1 new contact
In 2025 I made 100 new contacts
extrapolate. In 2026 I will make 10,000 new contacts (though I won't make them all directly, my associates will be my proxies)
Re: The three year myth
#130For anybody that is interested in a clinical psychologist's take, here is mine… This article triggers an overwhelming feeling that something is missing in the story. Of course, being fired is genuinely painful, and the author's emotional state is understandable. But I think there is a much better way to understand this situation that would be beneficial to the author. Please note that this is just a guess, and in rea…
clinical psychologist's like to invent imaginary scenarios and add something that is not in text, aren't they?