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How to be a leader when the vibes are off

chaoticgood.management

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Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#121

Post by aesthethiccs »

cyrnel wrote: post #114
stevage wrote: post #105

> In public, you have to support the policies, but when you’re in private with your manager and your peers, that’s the time you can safely push for change. They are actually advocating being two-faced as a form of leadership.

I know, right? It's sycophancy. If you are actually against the policy and suspect a lot of people are too, then don't silence your employees by keeping their feedback isolated to 1:1s which you admit are ineffective. Executives need clear feedback to avoid making major mistakes.

thought i was taking crazy pills when no one else but you two pointed out how ridiculous a manager with two faces is, if the execs don't get proper feedback they will never change, and employees complaining to this type of manager will immediately start looking elsewhere.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#122

Post by aesthethiccs »

tschellenbach wrote: post #60

There are literally subreddits about how to abuse the trust of remote work, but there have always been people doing that. I think the main thing that changed is that amazing revenue multiples that made it possible for companies to ignore these issues are no longer there. Meanwhile the costs of everything, including salaries has skyrocketed. So I think it's lower valuations + higher costs -> more pressure on efficienc…

People used to have unions fight for them, now they must exploit corporate weakness as empowered thinkers should.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#123

Post by bluefirebrand »

cyrnel wrote: post #114
stevage wrote: post #105

> In public, you have to support the policies, but when you’re in private with your manager and your peers, that’s the time you can safely push for change. They are actually advocating being two-faced as a form of leadership.

I know, right? It's sycophancy. If you are actually against the policy and suspect a lot of people are too, then don't silence your employees by keeping their feedback isolated to 1:1s which you admit are ineffective. Executives need clear feedback to avoid making major mistakes.

I don't think I've ever worked anywhere that executives are actually capable of taking feedback constructively

In all cases they have eventually just told me to shut up, no matter how diplomatic I try to be, and in some cases it has led to me being terminated

Feedback is just taken as a sign that you aren't aligned with their vision, so you have to go

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#124

Post by bluefirebrand »

serial_dev wrote: post #46
JohnMakin wrote: post #21

> The right thing to do in this situation is to acknowledge that you see the situation the same way they do, but do it privately, within your immediate team only or in 1-1s. “Yeah, this new policy sucks, I get it. It’s going to affect me in negative ways too.” It’s really important that you validate the emotions that all of these aspects are bringing up in people. This I wish more leaders did. It can be really demora…

On the other hand, I do not expect middle managers to talk negatively about a policy that they do not have influence over and they did not initiate because in the end they cannot change it and I don’t want them to get into trouble for validating my feelings. Middle managers will say that it is only raining and I will nod along even if we both know that they are pissing on my shoes. I might start looking for another j…

> Even in my exit interview, I’ll say everything was great.

This is really understandable. Don't burn bridges and such

I can't help but wonder if we're just screwed though. We can't hope to course correct without this sort of honest feedback but we're conditioning ourselves never to give it or receive it by ... Never giving it or receiving it

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#125

Post by scott_w »

darth_avocado wrote: post #108
itsnowandnever wrote: post #64

This blog was essentially my exact strategy over the last few turbulent years. I know it helped my people and I don't regret it. but, man, did it take a lot out of me. I've seen a quip out there before about the perfect recipe for burnout being the combination of high expectations with minimal empowerment to achieve those expectations. and this current market is burning leaders in this industry out like I haven't see…

I don’t know if I’m misinterpreting the blog, but this feels like it suggest you just fall in line with the upper management while providing lip service to the plebs. As an IC I’ve always despised managers who’d be a very sympathetic ear in 1:1s but always be “part of the system” when it mattered the most. Yes it’s always good to not get into public arguments with the upper management, but this gives off a lot of “pl…

So what is your expert advice? A manager runs their mouth off publicly, gets fired/made redundant, and gets replaced with a manager who does buy into the company line?

What concrete differences in behaviour would you expect to see?

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#126

Post by euroderf »

data_ders wrote: post #90
itsnowandnever wrote: post #64

This blog was essentially my exact strategy over the last few turbulent years. I know it helped my people and I don't regret it. but, man, did it take a lot out of me. I've seen a quip out there before about the perfect recipe for burnout being the combination of high expectations with minimal empowerment to achieve those expectations. and this current market is burning leaders in this industry out like I haven't see…

> the perfect recipe for burnout being the combination of high expectations with minimal empowerment to achieve those expectations wow. real!

It seems that burnout is the summation of anxiety over time.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#127

Post by Etheryte »

scyzoryk_xyz wrote: post #115
neilv wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you're a manager, consider not saying that up the org chart is "sucky". Almost certainly no one on your team will go tattle, but it can leak out accidentally, such as when someone is flustered over a problem. More likely, it will leak out indirectly, in a way, if your team starts thinking of itself a little too much as a group that has to stick together against hostile outsiders within the company, either up the c…

Sucks this is being downvoted. Maturity is hard.

Maturity can be many things, but complaining about internet brownie points is not one of them, at least as far as I'm concerned. People disagree with all kinds of things and that's fine, that comes with the territory of having an opinion.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#128

Post by InvOfSmallC »

gdbsjjdn wrote: post #38

I can't over-emphasize the role line managers play in decoupling the delusion expectations of leadership and the ground truth of employees' lives. I think a lot of CEOs would burst into flames if they saw an average IC's day, but those ICs can still be high performers and achieve the goals of the business. Having automonomy and flexibility is huge for ICs. The role of the line manager is to provide plausible deniabil…

I agree with her manager. She needs to preserve her health. Involving HR doesn't mean the manager is not with her.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#129

Post by Jare »

itsnowandnever wrote: post #64

This blog was essentially my exact strategy over the last few turbulent years. I know it helped my people and I don't regret it. but, man, did it take a lot out of me. I've seen a quip out there before about the perfect recipe for burnout being the combination of high expectations with minimal empowerment to achieve those expectations. and this current market is burning leaders in this industry out like I haven't see…

> high expectations with minimal empowerment to achieve those expectations

One of the things that I've done multiple times over my career is, to be completely open and clarify expectations on the other side / higher ups. One of the ways this manifests is that I never put my signature on something I don't believe in; I can sign up to get as far as possible, but will be explicit on not guaranteeing a destination that I'm not empowered to reach. Another is to make it clear that my execution decisions are aimed not at doing what you ask me, but doing what future you will be happy I did.

Naturally, things like that limit quite a lot the range of responsibilities that I could potentially reach, but also prevent me from going to places where I will not want to be.

Re: How to be a leader when the vibes are off

#130

Post by Propelloni »

airspresso wrote: post #84
itsnowandnever wrote: post #64

This blog was essentially my exact strategy over the last few turbulent years. I know it helped my people and I don't regret it. but, man, did it take a lot out of me. I've seen a quip out there before about the perfect recipe for burnout being the combination of high expectations with minimal empowerment to achieve those expectations. and this current market is burning leaders in this industry out like I haven't see…

Man, this hits hard. I've done so much to protect my part of the org chart from the whims of others and the cost-cutting pressure of the organization at large. My team are happy. Personally, I'm burned out to the level that nothing excites me any more and it's really hard to muster the energy to even do what's needed at the job, let alone drive vision and the team forward.

My sympathies, I've been there, too. You are not alone. What helped me was to talk about my predicament with peers outside my company at face-to-face meetups. It changed my trajectory and allowed me to find purpose again.
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