Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are you crossing your eyes (focusing nearer than the object) or diverging them (focusing past it)? Diverging is a harder skill to learn.
Not even sure which one I should try :) but yes tried both to no avail. Maybe it's just not something to achieve in the first try...
then for the stereogram you do the same, observe the out of focus edges of the left and right pictures, then slowly uncross until left and right image occupy the same spot as though they were the same object. now its out of focus, but one (ok, actually three, because there were two, you “doubled” that by crossing, then merged two of them. but ignore the other two and focus on the merged pair)
sometimes you will merge images of the same picture, in this case you are just back at your normal vision, repeat :)
then you try to keep them overlapped and focus the vision, try to “believe” that you are really looking at a single object.