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How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

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Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#121

Post by filleduchaos »

foofie wrote: post #117
filleduchaos wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anger does literally give a person energy and what can be labelled "courage" beyond their norm. That it is still up to the human being with a fully functional brain to figure out whether or not to use that energy (and, if yes, what exactly to do with it) doesn't change that fact.

> Anger does literally give a person energy and what can be labelled "courage" beyond their norm. Getting angry is renowned for leading people to do very stupid things that they would otherwise never do, because even themselves are fully aware it's stuff only an idiot would do. > That it is still up to the human being with a fully functional brain to figure out whether or not to use that energy (and, if yes, what exa…

I don't know how else to tell you that anger very, very, very literally gives a person energy. Amongst other emotions (like fear as I have already mentioned, but also e.g. excitement), part of its arousal is your body being flooded with epinephrine et al, which provokes a significant boost in cardiovascular performance.

> The original claim was "do what needs to be done" and now you backtracked to claim that instead the idiot who gets angry needs to control himself to not do stupid stuff that angry people do.

The original claim (not by me, mind you) was that "When we witness injustice, when our loved ones are threatened or harmed, when someone treats us with contempt or disrespect, anger is our signal that we must take action, and it gives us the energy and courage to do what must be done."

Again, I don't know how else to tell you that this is a plain fact. This is something that anybody with even a surface-level understanding of neuroscience and psychology should know. Fear and anger are both emotions that are triggered by perceived danger/threats and that prepare a person to respond to said danger. Pointing out that it is still up to you as a person to choose when and how to use that elevated state of readiness is not "backtracking", it is basic emotional intelligence. If you aren't able to regulate your emotions - all of them, not just the ones labelled negative - then that's on you, not on the sheer existence of your limbic system.

But then again I can see how this would be a confusing concept for anyone stuck in an "anger = bad" thought-terminating loop.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#123

Post by Obscurity4340 »

pyuser583 wrote: post #102
FireBeyond wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with you, it's one thing to be lying for 'fanciful' things - "Santa is bringing you presents" versus "We're your family and love you very much and want to give you things", the Easter bunny, etc, versus "We're in the Artic Circle. If you fall and trip in this water, it means hypothermia, near drowning, or death." As you say, children struggle with the concept of death, as any parent who has had to explain the…

My first child called cemeteries “zombie farms.”

"They" gotta start somewhere...

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#124

Post by 3abiton »

Obscurity4340 wrote: post #39
makeitshine wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do many people, when older, get upset about the lies their parents told them about Santa, The Easter Bunny and such? I'm skeptical these sorts of childhood lies cause any issues.

It certainly gives you more ammunition as a teen to distrust and venture the things your parents also taught you or implied were dangerous. It also teaches your children to believe foolish and questionable speech+conduct on the part of authority figures which has creates many other problems. Why is it necessary? Why do you need to lie to your children? Teaching them that lying is "fun" is absurd, so many problems are…

It is always easier to lie to the gullibles to get them to do what you want.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#125

Post by mmvasq »

sublinear wrote: post #7
082349872349872 wrote: post #3

I'm with the Inuit and Jedi on this one: anger is pretty useless[0], and if you must[1] take revenge, that's best served cold. Sometimes I wonder if the typical Hollywood W-plot, in which the hero's best friend/significant relation is shown partying/getting the girl/otherwise living well at the top of the middle ∧ then killed by the villain at the bottom of the right ∨, after which the hero gets angry and wins the da…

The problem is that there's about equal amounts of malice as stupidity in the world, so you never really know why. Assuming stupidity by default doesn't always make you feel better and may still lead to an emotional reaction you don't want to have. The better solution is to not care why, and do what ya gotta do. Usually that's creating distance from the source of problems and you and your work.

Distance is the only solution I know of when the malice is significant and it is at an all time high right now in the USA.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#126

Post by PH95VuimJjqBqy »

shagie wrote: post #91
gorwell wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission is the opposite as advertised. It's a serious mistake to take the self proclaimed Ministry of Truth at face value.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/25/world/canada/canada-schoo... And, in the end, the conclusion of the National Truth and Reconciliation Commission was unambiguous: “Children were abused, physically and sexually, and they died in the schools in numbers that would not have been tolerated in any school system anywhere in the country, or in the world.” From the 1880s through the 1990s, the Canadian government forcibly r…

I've not been following most of this thread of conversation, but this reply jumped out at me so let me throw my hat into the ring here.

I live in the US, but my mother went to what is known as a boarding school for native americans. They were beaten and raped, my mother got married at 15 just to get away from it all.

They would do things like lock the kids outside during the winter just for using their native language.

So while I don't know the specifics of this case, I also don't find it at all surprising.

And what makes it worse is that the man who ran that school got a humanitarian award years later. I remember it because it was announced a few weeks before one of our family reunions (I have a huge family, grandmother had 19 children) and the anger amongst all of the older family members was palpable. This man raped my mother.

I recently attended the funeral of an aunt (roughly 3 years ago) and met a woman who told me she tried to do research on the specific school my family went to. They've torn the school down and apparently you can hardly find any documentation on the school itself. The woman told me when she started trying to dig deeper into it she started getting death threats.

People who don't believe this kind of stuff happens don't live in reality (charmed life). I grew up hearing stories of them putting kids into communal showers, telling them to soap up, and then inspecting them. If they weren't white enough they'd get strapped while under the water.

I could go on and on with the stories I grew up with (not just from my mother either).

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#127

Post by PH95VuimJjqBqy »

rohitb91 wrote: post #97
shagie wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/25/world/canada/canada-schoo... And, in the end, the conclusion of the National Truth and Reconciliation Commission was unambiguous: “Children were abused, physically and sexually, and they died in the schools in numbers that would not have been tolerated in any school system anywhere in the country, or in the world.” From the 1880s through the 1990s, the Canadian government forcibly r…

There’s things that are left out that are important Many indigenous wanted their kids to go to these schools There was abuse in the school system everywhere and it seems like catholic schooling has been sexually abusive everywhere Rural canada was extremely poor Viruses like influenza ravaged everyone The media reporting on the matter makes it seem like everything bad of the past was exclusively done to indigenous wh…

> Many indigenous wanted their kids to go to these schools

For a bit more background, see my other reply here:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39256850

But I wanted to address this idea that somehow it's alright because the parents were ok with it.

My grandparents sent their children to this school partly because they couldn't afford to feed them and partly because my grandfather (a white man) wanted them there. My mother used to tell me stories of my grandmother going out into the woods and picking berries and hunting just to feed them.

Don't mistake a family sending their children to these schools for responsibility for what happened there or condoning it.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#128

Post by jasonm23 »

fhdkweig wrote: post #62
svat wrote: post #31

A caption in the article says “A lot has changed in the Arctic since the Canadian government forced Inuit families to settle in towns. But the community is trying to preserve traditional parenting practices.” (and earlier the article says “Elders I spoke with say intense colonization over the past century is damaging these traditions.” ) — what is this referring to? What did the Canadian government do?

what didn't they do? Start with a search for the phrase "Killing the indian in the child". That is a deep dive into darkness. 1) Forceful re-adoptions where the government would take kids from Inuit parents and give them to white parents. 2) Residential schools where they would forcefully take a child and send them away from their parents and not allow them to speak their native language or even dress in their native…

They did this in Australia.

it's now rightly called cultural genocide.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#129

Post by thecrash »

dappermanneke wrote: post #27

what is exactly the anglospheres obsession with trying to make their life more like that of people who live in squalor and possess nothing?

It's a great question actually! Why would people who have tons of possessions and live in comfort not just spend all their time enjoying being happy, harmonious and fulfilled? Why is it that having possessions doesn't seem to fulfill all our social, emotional and cultural needs?

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#130

Post by Kim_Bruning »

svat wrote: post #98
op00to wrote: post #4

I’m not sure lying to your kids about sea monsters to the point that your children are so petrified of the water they don’t go near it is quite as benign as they believe.

From the article itself: > At first, these stories seemed to me a bit too scary for little children. And my knee-jerk reaction was to dismiss them. But my opinion flipped 180 degrees after I watched my own daughter's response to similar tales — and after I learned more about humanity's intricate relationship with storytelling. > Oral storytelling is what's known as a human universal. For tens of thousands of years, i…

Ha, I finally get to mention https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie-to-children

One of my favorite articles!

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