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My ADHD founder toolbox

hypatia.ca

121–130 of 413 posts

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#121

As someone who is also battling ADHD, I feel super anxious reading the comments here all talking about X and Y medicine, which I am super not wanting to do. I used to do therapy but I found my therapist was making videos on Facebook about a few things I told him (though I was never named but I felt this was a huge breach of trust). I exercise quite a bit. (lots of cardio and core exercises, I particularly enjoy barbe…

(sorry, I feel I'm taking over this post, lol, but f it)

my coping strategies have been: 1) carve out some time to do distractionless work. check calendar, put up away message, close email, turn on background music (cafe jazz, Bob Ross, or intelligent d&b) w/headphones, write down a small task to complete on sticky note next to monitor, set timer (maybe multiple). 2) have a routine. weekday: work 9-5, gym, cook, miscellaneous, sleep. sat: projects. sun: hike. 3) lists. shopping list, jira tickets, work journal, personal road map, calendar everything.

you have 3/4 of your life ahead of you. directionless is fine. try lots of things, keep what sticks, throw away the rest. do what feels right for you. if you don't know what to do, welcome to the club :) just be healthy, have fun, pay your bills, be a good friend, and the rest will come. it gets easier.

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Weirdly, he was there due to some sponsorship related to disabilities because he had ADHD. Can I ask why you find that weird? ADHD is, and is also comorbid with other learning disabilities. ADHD has so many dimensions and interrelationships between those dimensions that everybody's lived experience is different. If you know one person with ADHD, then you know one person with ADHD, you don't know everyone with ADHD.…

I feel the ADHD is a strength not weakness mentality is generally harmful. There are some aspects of it that can help, especially when you are not deep working on one thing, but in general, I think it is unequivocally not a benefit to almost anyone who has it. edit: I would add there is some survivorship bias to it too. Successful CEO says ADHD helped? Huh. Cool. There is a reason alcoholism and substance abuse have…

Another reason I find that mentality harmful is because it treats ADHD as a separable “thing”, as if I could imagine what kind of person I’d be without it.

It’s fundamental to my cognition! It just is.

I find it a waste of time to try to assign “good” or “bad” labels to different parts of my lived experience.

That is why I dislike it being called a “superpower”. Not because it is “bad”, but because it is just is who I am.

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed with you and responders here. I want to add, there's also change in life circumstances aspect to it. Like, it's nice if you can use hyperfocus to do great things, that on the net outweigh the inability to handle "normal life" things like paying bills on time. Then you marry and start a family and at some point wake up realizing this new life is perfectly structured to prevent you from using the positive aspect…

This is exactly it. The person who resents me most for my disability is my wife. I don’t blame her, and I do my best to reign in my disability, but it’s not possible for me to function the way she wishes I could. I put everything I’ve got into a) making sure I don’t get fired because I earn about 4x more than her, b) pour all the energy I can into my kids because I see how fast they’re growing up, and by that point,…

Always be kind to yourself. You can be stern too. But always kind. ADHD can be a lot for some NT people and your wife has unreasonable expectations about what you are and aren’t capable of in a given day. Your partner seems like they try to understand you from a NT lens and that is bound to create a big disconnect. I know I have my relationship flaws but a little open understanding and empathy can bring two people so much closer in their shared view.

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#124

I diagnosed when I was like... 8 years old. From then to 17 I was on various meds, finally gave them all up. So for about 22 years I've coped with ADHD without meds. I am a Staff Engineer and make a good living, respected in my field. Regardless of anything else, I think the key thing to remember about ADHD is that you do not need to be a high-performing human being, at all, in life. You will forget things and get di…

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Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a weirdly designed funnel. I somehow ended up going through part of it twice (second time in the app). I have email scolding me for attempting to sign up with an address that already had an account. Not the craziest designed-by-marketing thing I've seen, but up there. But hey, it's not like I'm looking to them for UX advice.

What happens at the end of it funnel? What exactly is the app? And how much is it?

$47.99/month or $199.99/year - at the end of the (rather long) funnel with marketing spiel sprinkled in between, it asks for you to enter your card details to start your 7 day free trial.

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#126
Anyone who has an ADHD diagnosis should also look into ASD. Comorbidity rate data range between 33% and 80% between ADHD and ASD. I’ve only discovered that recently after 10 years as an adult with ADHD. Since then I’ve been looking into the past and recalling things like toe walking as a child, intense sensory issues, painful social interactions, and speech issues. As I’ve done so I’ve also connected with a lot of support resources and community. It’s been really helpful to have a fuller understanding of my blind spots and predispositions. It both helps me adapt to accommodate my needs, but also accept my limitations and unique strengths. ASD is poorly understood by the medical and psychiatric communities; recent research is making some huge steps forward in diagnosing female autistic traits, genetics, and having autistic participation/leadership in research.

It’s more poorly understood by the general public. People seem to have the idea that spectrum refers to intensity of symptoms. In fact it refers to their diversity. Some people have strong social skills but lack executive function, others have sensory difficulties and struggle with daily activities like hygiene. There is no “high functioning” autism, there are people who are highly engaged at appearing “normal” to the detriment of their energy and identity, often referred to as ‘masking’.

https://carmenbpingree.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Screen...

My synthesis of the research and anecdotes I’ve collected is that ADHD and ASD are distinct, but there is also likely a unique diagnosis likely to come in the future that represents the combination of the two. All of them are associated with the same regions of the brain, predominantly basal ganglia and cerebellum. It’s incredibly heritable. There is strong evidence that there are connections with endocrine disruption. There is a strong connection with non-conforming gender identity and ‘audhd’ which seem to be related to similar hormonal dynamics.

Many many founders and world-changing folks have ADHD, ASD, or some combo. It leads them to think in unique and powerful ways, and to see through established social norms to make real change possible. A lot of “former gifted kids” fall into this bucket. Their ability to learn rapidly and emulate social behavior actually prevents them from getting support for their very real needs which are often understood as symptoms of other disorders like depression. The challenges of real life eventually catch up and can lead to catastrophic burnout and diminishing abilities.

If you have an ADHD diagnosis just do yourself a favor and spend some time on embrace-autism.com for some good info and credible assessments.

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#127
I was diagnosed with ADD about two years ago and started taking meds.

A couple of weeks ago I found something which allowed me to stop taking meds - I started running. I did not expect this to help with my ADD, but my head is so much clearer and focused since I started to run, it's crazy.

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#128

I diagnosed when I was like... 8 years old. From then to 17 I was on various meds, finally gave them all up. So for about 22 years I've coped with ADHD without meds. I am a Staff Engineer and make a good living, respected in my field. Regardless of anything else, I think the key thing to remember about ADHD is that you do not need to be a high-performing human being, at all, in life. You will forget things and get di…

I was diagnosed when I was six, and, like you, I dropped all meds at 17. Recently (as in, this year) through a combination of therapy and introspection, I realized that while indeed I was able to have a successful life, career, relationships without the medication, and that, yes, my coping mechanisms were satisfactory, I was punching myself in the face for no reason Last month I saw a psychiatrist and got a prescript…

One interesting point about stimulant meds: they also help people who don't have the ADHD diagnosis. The black market for stimulants is pretty sizeable, not to mention the legit market for things like coffee.

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#129

I diagnosed when I was like... 8 years old. From then to 17 I was on various meds, finally gave them all up. So for about 22 years I've coped with ADHD without meds. I am a Staff Engineer and make a good living, respected in my field. Regardless of anything else, I think the key thing to remember about ADHD is that you do not need to be a high-performing human being, at all, in life. You will forget things and get di…

I was diagnosed when I was six, and, like you, I dropped all meds at 17. Recently (as in, this year) through a combination of therapy and introspection, I realized that while indeed I was able to have a successful life, career, relationships without the medication, and that, yes, my coping mechanisms were satisfactory, I was punching myself in the face for no reason Last month I saw a psychiatrist and got a prescript…

No need to feel so bad (edited from: be so negative) about meds. They’re a crutch, sure, or maybe a wheelchair. But you wouldn’t begrudge a disabled person their wheelchair, would you?

Or if you dislike thinking of it as a disability (even if there’s nothing morally wrong with being disabled): a pair of glasses.

Do we really think less of people (or in this case likely ourselves) for using a wheelchair or wearing glasses?

Re: My ADHD founder toolbox

#130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> psychiatric meds you can get on and off safely at any time Maybe you can get off them safely, but not always easily. My alcohol/drug recovery group is filled with people who couldn't easily get off them, like my friend N., who rather than swallowing his medication (Ritalin?), he crushed it & snorted it like cocaine.

> Maybe you can get off them safely, but not always easily. You're implying addiction, but in the more common case, people with ADHD can be apprehensive about getting off the meds for the same reason people with chronic pain can't easily get off painkillers, or people in general can't easily get off oxygen. > like my friend N., who rather than swallowing his medication (Ritalin?), he crushed it & snorted it like coca…

Is it any surprise people get apprehensive about stopping medication? We don’t ask people to not use prescription glasses or leave their wheelchair at home and expect them to be happy about it, do we?
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