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I need to stop being boring

patzhong.com

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Re: I need to stop being boring

#121

Post by betenoire »

nicbou wrote: post #112
jermaustin1 wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

walking, hiking, and road tripping are my favorite things to do (walk daily, "hike" (just long walk since I live in flat Houston) weekly, and roadtrip monthly). And the entire time, I sit in silence just THINKING. Sometimes I record my thoughts out loud. But for the most time, I just use it as a way to keep my mind churning. Sometimes I come up with new side projects, or a design for a new piece of furniture, or just…

Cycling and motorcycling also feel like that, if you'd rather see more landscapes faster. I consider saddle time "taking my brain to the park" so it runs around for a bit and tires itself out.

I would imagine it's a little more dangerous to space out and get lost in your thoughts though :)

Re: I need to stop being boring

#122

Post by jasper_fitussi »

levesque wrote: post #50
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #47

> I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be. I was starting to feel this way before I had kids, but having kids completely changed everything for the more interesting. It’s funny because it’s the exact opposite of what I was told would happen: The…

Tell that to my very burnt out parent friends! YMMV

Yep, also the introverted ones, with introverted kids.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#123

Post by TaupeRanger »

silicon2401 wrote: post #79
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #47

> I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be. I was starting to feel this way before I had kids, but having kids completely changed everything for the more interesting. It’s funny because it’s the exact opposite of what I was told would happen: The…

It's funny because the exact opposite is true for me, and is the reason I won't be having kids. I recovered my creativity and wonder for life through just living life how I want to, rather than based on what I thought was normal or typical. Part of that was rejecting the societal expectation of having kids. Now I have a blast pursuing my interests and looking forward to living the rest of my life this way, without ha…

You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, and as a bonus you'll get to help continue the human race, which is always good.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#124

Post by PragmaticPulp »

Elte wrote: post #77
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I said it was interesting, not-boring, and introducing me to more new people than I’ve met since college. I didn’t say it was always easy, but that’s fine by me because it’s not actually soul-crushingly difficult (again, another misconception popular among young people without kids that turned out to be wrong). The older I get, the more I realize that my friends who optimize for minimal effort (no kids, reluctant to…

I may be like one of your boring unfulfilled friends, except I have a single hobby that makes me feel a sense of purpose, whereas very few other things in my life ever really have. On a rational level, it seems to me that having kids will add a sense of purpose to my life, given how many people share this perspective. At the same time, thinking about the time and effort I will be forced to take away from the thing th…

> At the same time, thinking about the time and effort I will be forced to take away from the thing that keeps me sane fills me with dread. It's not like there's a way back.

YMMV and don’t let my experience be your only guide

But I had the same exact feeling. After the first year or two (infant stage is tough, no denying it) I’m actually right back to my hobbies just as before.

It takes more planning now to do the weekend hobby events that are out of town, but it’s still plenty doable.

I’ve also realized that the number of years that your kids are young and require a lot of attention is actually fairly small. I plan to live to at least 80 and the most attentive child-raising years are only a small fraction of that.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#125

Post by PragmaticPulp »

pavlov wrote: post #95
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #47

> I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be. I was starting to feel this way before I had kids, but having kids completely changed everything for the more interesting. It’s funny because it’s the exact opposite of what I was told would happen: The…

I’m a parent of two children and most of the time I’m extremely bored and struggling for motivation. My older child is a pre-teen constantly screaming and raging about the tiniest things. It’s a tremendous energy drain. But the children are certainly not the reason for my lurking depression: it was there before I had kids, and being a parent hasn’t magically transformed my life with meaning. These things are roughly…

> But the children are certainly not the reason for my lurking depression: it was there before I had kids, and being a parent hasn’t magically transformed my life with meaning.

Sorry to hear about your struggles. I do fully agree that having kids won’t alleviate things like major depression and hope I didn’t give that impression.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#126

Post by JKCalhoun »

betenoire wrote: post #121
nicbou wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cycling and motorcycling also feel like that, if you'd rather see more landscapes faster. I consider saddle time "taking my brain to the park" so it runs around for a bit and tires itself out.

I would imagine it's a little more dangerous to space out and get lost in your thoughts though :)

It is, but you seek out the less traffic'd roads when on a motorcycle. (I ride too.)

Re: I need to stop being boring

#127

Post by witx »

TaupeRanger wrote: post #123
silicon2401 wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's funny because the exact opposite is true for me, and is the reason I won't be having kids. I recovered my creativity and wonder for life through just living life how I want to, rather than based on what I thought was normal or typical. Part of that was rejecting the societal expectation of having kids. Now I have a blast pursuing my interests and looking forward to living the rest of my life this way, without ha…

You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, and as a bonus you'll get to help continue the human race, which is always good.

Because having kids with the mindset of: "I'll be a burden to them instead of the nursing home staff / society" is a great reason to have kids ...

Re: I need to stop being boring

#129

Post by apalmer »

Honestly seems the issue is something is preventing you from objectively observing and documenting your issue. This is the first step.

For instance, you have decided the issue is 'being boring' when what you describe is 'being bored'.

Another is you are making the successful roll out of the app the end goal, when there is no indication that 'being boring/bored' has anything to do with success of the app.

As an outsider going by the description of how you provided without taking the solution you provide for granted it seems...

You are bored/dissatisfied with your life, and you are bored/dissatisfied with the project you are working on, but (I think because you are trying to 'focus' and fight distraction) you don't want to admit this as the solution would be to change tack as its basically giving in to your lack of focus

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