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I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

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Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#121

Post by tw600040 »

TheMerovingian wrote: post #67
thepasswordis wrote: post #9

Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car. I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family. If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

This is very cynical. If you can't even tell your family how much you make what's the point in having a family? What is a family for in your opinion then?

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#122

Post by samstave »

Wages are such a weird thing...

In HS I was a grocery bagger and I made $5.34/hr 1992-93

I then worked as head cad drafter (autocad) for multiple architects... When I announced I was quitting my firm to move to seattle, I told them I was moving and needed a raise so I could save up to move in 3 months, they laughed at my gall and granted me the raise from $8.50/hr to $9.25 -- 1994

I moved to Seattle then made $9.50 as head draftsman designing Fred Huchinson Cancer Research Center and a bunch of fast food restaurants and gas stations and cell sites... (Rent was $400/month for a 1 bedroom)

Moved back to the Bay in '97 and got a job as IT manager for a company making $42K/yr (Rent was $1,200 for 3-br

then $65k

then $70K

then $104K (mortgage $2400)

120, 150, 170, 250K

Now I am looking for work and make nothing...

I am happier making nothing than anytime I was on the clock 24/7/365 worrying about production uptime that made nothing better in this world....

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#123

Post by gfiorav »

Nowhere near this money, but I did notice during this pandemic a situation where:

- Wife and I were in a tricky situation (stuck in a different country, living with parents since we couldn't go back home).

- It was stressful to be away from our home and not knowing when/if you'll be back.

- Nobody in the family offered any empathy to this situation since "what do you care? You have money."

We're nowhere near even the bottom mid of the most affected people by the pandemic, so don't take this as whining. I think others (especially those who don't have enough money not to worry) tend to believe that money would solve all their problems. Hence, they think you don't deserve empathy.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#124

Post by hncurious »

42069 wrote: post #5

I made ~50 million in crypto. By far the most satisfying part was buying a house each for my friends and family. Having a paid off house is really a massive stress reducer for most people which imho gives you the 90% of the financial freedom of being super wealthy.

I'm curious about how this works in practice. Did you just pick and buy houses for all of them? Or did they pick and you paid? If the latter, did you set some kind of price range?

Also, do you worry about any future expectations they might have?

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#125

Post by robotresearcher »

jnwatson wrote: post #33
lotsofpulp wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would not consider not donating to be wrong, or donating to necessarily be right.

Bioethicist/philosopher Peter Singer disagrees. "if you are living comfortably while others are hungry or dying from easily preventable diseases, and you are doing nothing about it, there is something wrong with your behavior." [1] I'm inclined to agree with him. This is my current moral quandry, since my income is about to dramatically increase. I'm looking for a new car. I can pay in cash. I could pay $90K for a Po…

This is an age-old concern, and there's a traditional approach: tithing. Automatically donate 10% of your after-tax income to a charity you believe in. Then stop thinking about it except in special emergencies. Tune the percentage as you wish, but make that decision once (or infrequently) and keep it out of your daily anxieties.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#126

Post by zozbot234 »

hanniabu wrote: post #93
dougmwne wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have worked in the nonprofit industry for 10 years. People with money have no moral obligation to give me money. The way the organizations I work with spend the money is about what you would expect for a business with no real economic incentive to be efficient or solve the advertised problem. Lots of politics, lots of waste, lots of egos. I will never steward your life savings to improve the world as well as you wo…

If someone wanted to donate, which are the top organizations you'd recommend and which are the top ones you'd avoid given your knowledge on efficiency and grifting?

GiveWell and other "Effective Altruist" organizations are generally the most widely-trusted source for these recommendations. If you're OK with their starting principles and assumptions (which you should familiarize yourself with!) they seem pretty solid overall.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#127

Post by jzb »

edgyquant wrote: post #110
mbesto wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either. YMMV. I don't have any immediate family members who are at risk for monetary issues (luckily) and I have not had any issues with them knowing how much I earn. I'm also lucky that my family has been taught the value of a dollar since I was little. Not everyone has that advantage so I can definitely see why the default advice should be "don't tell them"…

Yeah I told my parents when I started making six figures and the only thing that changed was now my dad doesn’t pay for all my food when I’m visiting.

Before my father passed he still grumbled about me buying a meal and he was retired!

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#128

Post by throwaway0a5e »

jkereako wrote: post #26
thepasswordis wrote: post #9

Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car. I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family. If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).

I’ve wondered about this: when someone comes into a windfall and their loved ones see them differently, are they really different or is the person seeing them exactly as they are?

Nobody is different. The people around the newly rich person are just acting just as entitled as they always have. They just formerly never pointed that behavior in the direction of that person because they never had a reason to.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#129

Post by robotresearcher »

silicon2401 wrote: post #87
jnwatson wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bioethicist/philosopher Peter Singer disagrees. "if you are living comfortably while others are hungry or dying from easily preventable diseases, and you are doing nothing about it, there is something wrong with your behavior." [1] I'm inclined to agree with him. This is my current moral quandry, since my income is about to dramatically increase. I'm looking for a new car. I can pay in cash. I could pay $90K for a Po…

Funny how Peter Singer condemns comfort while living comfortably enough to have the time to write and publish a dozen books [1]. That time could've really helped a lot of people. Wonder what his thoughts on hypocrisy are. For me, other people's problems aren't my problem. If I won a billion dollars I'd probably donate to things generously out of mild interest in trying to make the world more to my liking, but that's…

> For me, other people's problems aren't my problem.

If your luck runs out, we'll be here to help you.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#130

Post by DanielleMolloy »

liquidise wrote: post #40

The friend/family perception is real and one thing, but really i think this silence creates yet more separation creating ever more loneliness. Ultimately, my fear for lottery winners is akin to discovering cheat codes in early video games. Turning on "Infinite Money" in $GAME was great... until it quickly sucked all of the joy out of the game. The limited resource challenge disappeared. I don't know anyone who has wo…

The cheat code feeling might only occur if your focus in life is earning lots of money. If you are instead pursuing to contribute something valuable in arts or sciences, a ton of money might just give you ease of mind and time to create something really worthwhile. Thinking about René Descartes, Charles Darwin and (as a more recent example) Jimmy Wales. It could indeed be that many of the former lottery winners ending up badly fell into the former camp.
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