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Why Russians do not smile (2002)

chicagomaroon.com

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Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#121

Post by irrational »

firebaze wrote: post #74
zeroc8 wrote: post #60

Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

This is one of the reasons I hope wearing masks in public becomes a permanent thing. I don't want anyone to know whether I am smiling or not.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#122

Post by einpoklum »

> Very often Western people criticize Russians for being too gloomy and unfriendly because we never smile

WTF? I'm very often around Russian and other Slav people and many of them smile plenty.

> In Western culture, and especially in the United States, the smile is an indication of well-being ... In Russian culture the smile is identified with laughter. Russians do not smile unless something funny happens and provides a reason for laughter.

Massive over-generalization. Local culture, personality and personal life background induce much more variability in tendency to smile than whether you're Russian/Slav or not.

Also, the author seems to lump the US and Europe together, something I also frown upon.

Bottom line: I am not smiling at this article.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#123

Post by vbezhenar »

gsk22 wrote: post #110
firebaze wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

You're misunderstanding what the phrase "how are you" means in the US. It is not a literal question, but a set phrase with implicit social rules for "correct" responses. This doesn't mean the person asking is faking kindness - but also understand they're not actually asking for a rundown of how your life is going. Negative responses to the question are ok, just not deeply personal answers. Tom Scott has an excellent…

It's the same in Russian actually. You're saying "how are you" ("как дела") after "hello" ("привет"), but you're not really expecting any meaningful answer other than "I'm OK" ("нормально") or "I'm fine" ("отлично").

But it might be one way to start a conversation when you want to tell something you don't like. Like "How are you? I'll live. What happened? ...". But it's more of closed friends conversation when you can feel OK sharing your burdens with other person. I guess, similar thing could happen in US?

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#124

Post by jasondigitized »

firebaze wrote: post #74
zeroc8 wrote: post #60

Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

As an American, I can tell you for some of us, its not faked. We just like people, genuinely, and really enjoy interacting with them.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#125

Post by OJFord »

firebaze wrote: post #74
zeroc8 wrote: post #60

Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

Thank you so much! You're so welcome!

There's only one word 'y'all' need: 'cheers'.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#127

Post by nomel »

jasondigitized wrote: post #124
firebaze wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

As an American, I can tell you for some of us, its not faked. We just like people, genuinely, and really enjoy interacting with them.

My favorite part about the pandemic is that I can smile constantly under my mask, even while picking out soup at the grocery store, without looking like an idiot.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#128

Post by trhway »

solids wrote: post #53

Leaving aside cultural differences, isn't it a fact that smiles (genuine smiles) have health benefits?

technically speaking smiling increases airflow and thus improves work of the brain and the body. So one of first things i do in tough/stressful situations is i make myself smile. It has immediate effect of de-anxiety and improves attention (like kind of making yourself an impartial side observer of situation which is especially important when you are outnumbered), and back in Russia i would for example smile when find myself in a bind and before starting delivering punches if/when it would come to it, and in US i smile if something gets me frustrated as the Russian style of response to frustration isn't acceptable here and before i start delivering politely shaped microaggressions (the thing which seems to replace punches here :)

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#130

Post by OJFord »

pjlegato wrote: post #94
jagrsw wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a risky hypothesis, but could it have something to do with access to guns? In a society when every stranger can potentially be armed, it might be prudent to somehow display the 'I intend no harm' sign upfront, and smile might be a good proxy for that? The 'the armed society is a polite society' thing? Living in Europe, where owning guns is not common (and carrying personally very very rare), I don't feel comp…

Gun ownership is quite common in many parts of Europe. Finland in particular is nearly the same as the US in terms of percentage of households with firearms. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percent_of_households_with_gun...

But [0] they are licenced for specific usages, and carry is not allowed outside of that context, and 'personal protection' hasn't been one (barring extant holders) since 1998.

[0] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firearms_regulation_in_Finland

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