121–130 of 130 posts
What a toxic little website. Do not follow the advise here. Do not label your co-workers. Trust them, listen to them. If you see them exhibit traits you perceive as negative (and fall into these crude buckets) - talk to them, and give them feedback. Chances are, they will appreciate it, and your working relationship will improve.
What a toxic little website. Do not follow the advise here. Do not label your co-workers. Trust them, listen to them. If you see them exhibit traits you perceive as negative (and fall into these crude buckets) - talk to them, and give them feedback. Chances are, they will appreciate it, and your working relationship will improve.
What archetype can we attribute to someone categorising their colleagues into some pseudoscientific archetype? This is an extremely toxic way of dealing with other people and should be avoided. People are much more than a stereotype.
Throwaway as I don’t want to admit I am one of these negative ones (soldier) with my main. The negative reaction to this seems like ego. “I’m special, unique, and complex so you can’t profile me this way.” The thing is, people aren’t. Social media companies have demonstrated that most people can be broken down into categories and targeted in very specific and effective ways. And yes, as the article says, try as peopl…
Almost every single one of these problems can be solved by talking to the groups involved. How do you talk to people about actual issues in a way that'll get them to be honest/realistic with you? Create safety. Make sure it's clear that nothing they do/say will hurt them or you, or come back to do so later. What I don't see here, what I don't see anywhere, is how to deal with a legitimate bad actor. I wish more of th…
This is a horrible website and you will likely experience diminished tenure if you follow it's advice. First, there is a complete lack of empathy for the person being labelled. What are the motivations and constraints that led to this person acting this way? A key question and the foundation for building healthy productive relationships. Second, the 'solutions' are horrible. "Go around the person" is terrible advice…
How do I deal with working with the sort of person who would make this website?
What a toxic little website. Do not follow the advise here. Do not label your co-workers. Trust them, listen to them. If you see them exhibit traits you perceive as negative (and fall into these crude buckets) - talk to them, and give them feedback. Chances are, they will appreciate it, and your working relationship will improve.
Have you actually experienced working with co-workers who exhibit all the symptoms of sociopaths/narcissists? They will take your trust and good intentions and do whatever they can to take advantage of it. Most people are worthy of trust. But the 3% that aren’t are toxic/dangerous in ways you will only realise after the damage is done. So assume the best but don’t be naive.
And I think beyond that, the answer is to try to work hard to change your life circumstances (where you live, how much effort you put into your network, what skills you develop, how often you switch jobs) so that if you do want to make lateral moves within roughly the same role, it's straightforward. This heavily de-risks the possibility of getting stuck with people who aren't great. It might be common, but it's /not/ every team, it's /not/ every company. The labor market is still very favorable for technologists. Using the market momentum to find your way into a healthy team environment at a company with a healthy culture is highly advised!
What a toxic little website. Do not follow the advise here. Do not label your co-workers. Trust them, listen to them. If you see them exhibit traits you perceive as negative (and fall into these crude buckets) - talk to them, and give them feedback. Chances are, they will appreciate it, and your working relationship will improve.
This coaching fallacy is actually quite toxic in my experience... many/most people in the workplace don't want to change, and they don't want constructive criticism. Every ineffective manager that I've ever known thinks that they can coach people into being more productive, better team members... but in the end those managers simply pat themselves on the back while the employee goes on causing headaches for the rest…
However, there is also a correalation between how difficult/toxic a team member is and how well they respond to coaching. At this point I think if a truly difficult team member responded to coaching, they probably would have stopped being difficult earlier in their career, because someone else would have told them to knock it off.
The only thing I've seen work there is being embedded into a culture that uniformally corrects the problematic behavior, and even that is a crapshoot.
However, that doesn't change my experience that most people do want to get better and do respond to help.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Have you actually experienced working with co-workers who exhibit all the symptoms of sociopaths/narcissists? They will take your trust and good intentions and do whatever they can to take advantage of it. Most people are worthy of trust. But the 3% that aren’t are toxic/dangerous in ways you will only realise after the damage is done. So assume the best but don’t be naive.
While this is true, you do yourself no favors by remaining there and "surviving" the dysfunctional work environment. As the old canard goes, your best option is to either "change your job, or change your job." And I think beyond that, the answer is to try to work hard to change your life circumstances (where you live, how much effort you put into your network, what skills you develop, how often you switch jobs) so th…