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Am I Disabled?

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Re: Am I Disabled?

#121

Post by nameless912 »

It took me a very, very, very long time after I got my diagnosis of Bipolar II and ASD to check the box saying I was disabled. This is even after a couple of crisis calls, nearly failing out of college, nearly destroying my relationship with my partner, and having a couple of really rough months early in my career where I was worried I would be fired for not getting anything done.

The stigma around being disabled is very, very real. My parents still hate that I embrace that label. They point to my uncle who is schizophrenic and has severe arthritis and who has been on disability since they were in their mid-30s and say "see, HE's disabled, you aren't!" and it's incredibly difficult to deal with. Because I'm now medicated, have a stable relationship with my partner, see a therapist once a week, and have special accommodations with my boss (mostly around taking sick leave a little more frequently than "average" but keeping him in the loop when I'm having a bad day), my life externally looks "normal". I work 40(ish) hours a week, my partner and I own a house, we recently moved back home to be closer to family, and we're happy. But I still check that little box because of all the work that it took me to get there, and because more people need to know that disability and work are not mutually exclusive.

I've started being more "out" about my disability (it's funny, my partner semi-recently came out as bisexual and I've learned a lot from her about how to own my identity), becoming more comfortable talking with people about it at work and in my personal life. I'm helping out with a new ERG at my job that talks about disability as it pertains to our field and I'm trying my best to be true to myself. It's hard because others still see someone who's "fine", but I'm getting more comfortable every day with my identity. I just hope that my being more open changes someone's mind some day about either their perception of others, or their perception of themselves.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#122

Post by Metacelsus »

jfk13 wrote: post #86
kolinko wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I remember Google Campus having a form for filling in before a tech event that was crazy invasive - asked for literally everything: race, gender, sexual orientation, religion and so on.

If there's a write-in option for "race" on these things, I'd recommend putting "human".

Yeah, that's what I do.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#123

Post by faeyanpiraat »

lazyasciiart wrote: post #18
uberman wrote: post #3

I've personally pondered this a number of times and here is my conclusion that I am comfortable with. While there is some sense of continuum, there is a difference between being hurt and being injured. In a similar sense I feel there is a continuum of "something" and disabled. I don't really know what to call the "something" end of the disability continuum that would be analogous to "hurt" rather then "injured". For…

I think that people's perceptions of what it means to feel disabled are so different that your view is wrong. For instance, my mother totally lost the use of one leg as a baby with polio. She has always worn a full supportive brace on that leg from foot to hip so she can stand up and walk (she's never been able to run). She has always said she doesn't "feel disabled", but she checks yes on forms like this because she…

The difference between the OP's and your mother's situation is that OP got injured after becoming an adult.

The real difference is that OP could could determine if his current state is a regression from normal.

Your mother's abilities degraded before she could understand what she misses out on.

So being disabled is the norm for her, she does not feel disabled, but when filling out official forms, she has to compare her abilities with her perception of "normal".

So it's not that OP is wrong, he is just in a different situation, they are both right.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#124

Post by JohnBooty »

Causality1 wrote: post #71

The neurodiversity argument always seems to me a misguided one. It argues that these neurological identities/configurations are not inherent problems but just differences which are only made to have negative effects on the person's life by societal preconception and bigotry. Those things do make it much worse and need to change, but I would argue that doesn't stop these brain-states from being independently troubleso…

    The author mentions problems with speech processing, speaking, 
    sensory overload, sleeping, getting out of bed, eating, smells,
    textures, and navigation. None of those problems were created by
    society
Your understanding of the neurodiversity movement isn't correct.

Neither the article nor the movement in general claims that society "created" her difficulty performing those things.

The neurodiversity movement points out (correctly, IMO) that lots of people with behavioral "disabilities" are in fact quite able, but need to do things differently and may need accommodations.

It says that autism and other behavioral health issues are not necessarily inherently "bad" (just as being in a wheelchair is not inherently bad) but we fail as a society when fail to accommodate such folks.

Broadly I agree wholeheartedly with this. Ultimately it's a message of ability. It is a movement by and for people who want to achieve and be a part of society. As somebody with diagnosed ADHD this is how I approach things as well. I don't consider it a disability. I just tend to do things a little differently.

A valid criticism of the neurodiversity movement is that it seems to gloss over the fact that, well, often behavioral health issues are genuinely debilitating. A schizophrenic who hears voices in their head would probably not claim that it is some hidden strength.

On the whole though, I think the movement is a good thing. It is ultimately a message of ability and a call for inclusiveness.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#125

Post by yobananaboy »

> There are parents so appalled by the prospect of having an autistic child that they knowingly expose their children to infectious diseases – potentially fatal ones – because they have been led to believe that vaccination causes autism. When a difference is stigmatised to that degree, it has a wretched effect on the mental health of those who bear it

My parents ended up as antivaxxers when 2 of my siblings were diagnosed with autism. My 3 youngest sisters aren’t vaccinated, and one of my autistic brothers isn’t up to date on his. Which is crazy to realize that damn, my mother would rather risk having my little sisters die from a horrible disease than risk them being anything like their neurodivergent siblings. I’m the eldest, and with adhd I was always treated differently, but not to the same degree. This passage really helped me understand the anguish that has lead to multiple suicide attempts by one of my brothers.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#126

Post by novia »

gumby wrote: post #20

Likewise flummoxed by the equivalent “race” question almost always asked on the innumerable forms you’re subjected to in the USA. In the country I was born in there was one correct answer for me (though the question was rarely asked); later that changed. In my mother’s country the legally determined answer is printed on your ID card, which at least removed the need to think about it. In the USA there is a very differ…

The reason those questions are asked is so there can be accountability when (for example) white supremacists try to hire only white people. That portion of the application is typically visible to HR but not the hiring manager.

So, counterintuitively, the orgs with the forms asking all the probing questions about your skin color are more likely to be making an effort to not be a boring homogeneous mass of people. Maybe just for bragging rights about being a "diverse workplace," but, it's better than nothing.

This country has a history of treating people with darker skin worse, and there were several propaganda campaigns during slavery times which painted black people in particular as inferior. So now we've gotta fight against that social momentum from the past with countermeasures in the present.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#127

Post by ab3rC1te »

anodyne33 wrote: post #7

This came up for me a few years ago when I was filling out a job application. At the voluntary self disclosure stage it listed epilepsy among the list and it stopped me in my tracks. A few brain surgeries later and I'm no longer epileptic, but it did make me ask this exact question. For several years, my onset with in 2012 at age 36, I considered it more of a bummer and inconvenience and never thought about it any ot…

Yep I'm disabled and told past job interviews that I was retarded and ended up not getting the job.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#128

Post by kolinko »

macspoofing wrote: post #112
kolinko wrote: post #61

Excellent question. As a person with ADHD (but on meds), and a possible CFS, I ask myself this sometimes. While I wouldn't use a disabled parking spot , there are some exceptions from social norms that I allow myself: - segregating trash (keeping an apartament clean and organised is crazy difficult by itself, and I still learn to put things into trash after using, at the age of 36) - getting a sitting space in a crow…

>getting a sitting space in a crowded bus, even if there are old people around Why? Giving up a seat to an older individual is a show of respect as well as a recognition that standing for seniors is a bigger burden than it is for a young 30-something. Why would ADHD change that?

ADHD not, but CFS yes - i take meds daily to not keep falling asleep all the time.

My theory is that for the part of the ADHD population the core reason is excessive daytime sleepiness/tiredness.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#129

Post by bluGill »

rexreed wrote: post #107

Call me pragmatic but I think the answer is simple. If it benefits you to say you are disabled and you have a qualifying disability, medically supported, then say yes, say you are disabled. If it does not benefit you to say you're disabled and the disability is not entirely obvious to others who you don't interact with on a regular basis, then say no. Some might not like it, but if the disability is of the sort that…

That is itself abusing the system and makes it worse for those who need it. There are benefits for the disabled that some technically qualify for that are meant for those worse off than they are.

Unfortunately I don't know how to draw the line - that is why it is possible to abuse the system: some who need the benefits may seem better off than others who don't need them. This same argument prevents some who really should take benefits from taking them! All I can say is be careful and please don't cheat the system - everyone who cheats is evidence that we need to tighten the rules even at the expense of not giving benefits to those who need them.

It is a hard problem.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#130

Post by kolinko »

Faaak wrote: post #57

This reminds me abouts Kubecon Europe 2020's survey which had questions like: "what's your race", and "what's your gender". As a European, this was a huge WTF moment (my co-workers had the same moment). Why would you ask something like that ?

Google Campus asked a bunch of other personal questions (ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation etc if I’m not mistaken).

The funny part is that in Europe this is considered extremely sensitive information and there are even strictrier laws and penalties for storing those than the regular personal data.

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