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Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

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Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#121

Post by refurb »

echelon wrote: post #25

I just want a no-pay sabbatical. Three months, total reset of energy levels. We should all have that option. I would take a lot less money (-$50k or more) if I got to take a quarter off every year. Four day work weeks would be another compelling alternative. Two days a week are not enough time to get chores done. There's no time for relaxing. If I ever create a company, I'd love to offer these options.

When I switched jobs a few years back, I intentionally took a 6 week break between roles. My new manager wanted me to start right away, but I pushed back and said "no". This was after working a job that had me doing 60-80 hr weeks for months on end.

I set it up so I had zero obligations at the start - no vacations planned, no "to do" lists. I would get up in the morning and ask myself "what do I need to get done today?" and the answer was "nothing". It was really glorious.

After a couple weeks of doing whatever I wanted - reading, going for a walk, meeting a friend for coffee, I felt my background anxiety level had diminished a lot. Then I started into the phase of "what do I want to get done before I start working again". None of it was "must do", but rather cleaning up the garden, fixing the car, taking care of financial paperwork. The next few weeks felt incredibly low pressure and highly productive.

It's a great way to get into a healthy mindset, at least for me.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#122

Post by whatshisface »

zo1 wrote: post #80
IggleSniggle wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm suddenly feeling a little better about all the time I spend investigating better/different ways to approach technical problems, even when I know that I can't apply them to the problem that is immediately in front of me. I mean, obviously at some point you need to cut down the tree, and sometimes you're just carving down your ax without making it any sharper, but still.

It's a crap cake most times I try the long-approach on a problem: I spend time researching, investigating, figuring out the best way to do it, implementing the solution and potentially being pulled off to something else in the meantime. And then comes along some spiffy "throw hammer at the problem" person that can't stand spending too much time on a problem, who then proceeds to solve it in some crappy way that "kind…

You could try becoming the person who jumps in and gets it done badly in one minute. The fact that you spend a lot of time researching the problem isn't a personal trait, it's something that you can choose to do or not do depending on the circumstances. The easiest way to extricate yourself from your present problem is to do what management wishes you were doing (perhaps a wish without full understanding of the consequences.)

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#123

Post by athenot »

giantg2 wrote: post #110
gowld wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You might find therapy much cheaper than the cost of cleaning up the mess when this gets worse.

That depends on it working. If I've already been open and honest, then what more can a therapist do? The only thing I can think of is the therapist using authority or shame, and that's not allowed. To me it sounds like me paying money for someone to facilitate a conversation. We aren't hostile, so I don't think that's necessary.

Therapy is more than facilitating a conversation. It may help reframe her (and your) point of view on your relationship. And that doesn't have to entail authority or shame; quite the opposite.

Check if your insurance covers it, some plans do.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#124

Post by [deleted] »

layoric wrote: post #115
outworlder wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time Is it though? What if you are (always) on call? What if you get a message from your boss late evening asking for stuff for early morning? What if you have late night meetings or very early morning meetings (and what if both are present)? What if coworkers from other timezones are messaging you outside work hours (if you even have defined work h…

Thanks for posting this. Startup DevOps with 24/7 on call is brutal, especially if you're a very early employee.

[deleted]

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#125

Post by bacon_waffle »

motohagiography wrote: post #5

Clicked for me recently that working hard is like driving in first gear. Necessary initially, but if you don't shift up into higher gears, you're probably not doing it right, and not getting as far as fast as you probably should. If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time, and that's a signal it's time to step back and figure out what's wrong. Some people are really good at that initial t…

One of my first jobs was in retail, a backpacking outfitter located at the top of a scenic and winding road that's very popular among fast car folks. Summer weekends when the weather was good, we'd sell huge amounts of soda and trinkets from a gift shop in the front of the store.

One day, a guy come in and ask for a jug of water for his car, which had overheated. It turned out to be a yellow Ferrari, I got him some water and he headed on down the other side of the gap. Neither the fancy car nor needing water for an overheated vehicle was too far out of the ordinary, but the combination was curious - a sports car should be able to handle that road easily.

At the time, I lived with my dad. That evening, he mentioned that he had been in town and a yellow Ferrari had driven by with the engine revved way up like it was stuck in first gear...

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#126

Post by omginternets »

giantg2 wrote: post #90
omginternets wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your marriage sounds like it's completely dysfunctional and a living hell. Finances and work balance aside, the bit about the legal trouble is quite the red flag. I don't presume to know what the right move is for you, but it sounds like you need to do something . Your situation is not normal. Have you considered couple's therapy? Divorce might also be on the table.

The legal issue isn't a big deal, but I certainly don't need that work on top of everything else. It was for an off-leash dog. The real problem was that we had a totally incompetent trooper make numerous mistakes on the citation, including a mis-citing it as a more serious charge and lying to a judge. I'm trained and licensed by my state in a quasi law enforcement capacity and even I'm shocked at the dysfunction of t…

> I don't think therapy would help. I would not be happy paying money for someone to just facilitate a conversation. I'll just deal with it until I can't, then I'll quit my job and she'll have to start helping out or listen to me about moving.

Do what you want, but none of that makes sense.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#127

Post by omginternets »

giantg2 wrote: post #110
gowld wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You might find therapy much cheaper than the cost of cleaning up the mess when this gets worse.

That depends on it working. If I've already been open and honest, then what more can a therapist do? The only thing I can think of is the therapist using authority or shame, and that's not allowed. To me it sounds like me paying money for someone to facilitate a conversation. We aren't hostile, so I don't think that's necessary.

> If I've already been open and honest, then what more can a therapist do?

Among other things, figure out why your wife isn’t hearing you

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#128

Post by username90 »

decebalus1 wrote: post #72
WJW wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's still mismanaging your work and time, but indirectly. Find a better job where your colleagues respect your personal time.

Are you familiar with the /r/wowthanksimcured/ subreddit? Might want to check it out. There are several problems with your statement: - find a better job: the job market is not ideal right now from the worker's perspective. Not to mention the difficulty of onboarding remote employees which is a stressor in itself. Not to mention the stress and the added workload of joining a new company/role while you have to build t…

Work hard at getting a better job instead of work hard to keep your current one if its shitty. It doesn't always apply, but it is correct most of the time.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#129

Post by agumonkey »

fakedang wrote: post #15
motohagiography wrote: post #5

Clicked for me recently that working hard is like driving in first gear. Necessary initially, but if you don't shift up into higher gears, you're probably not doing it right, and not getting as far as fast as you probably should. If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time, and that's a signal it's time to step back and figure out what's wrong. Some people are really good at that initial t…

> Nobody ever looks at a person driving a ferrari and thinks, "wow, they must have washed a lot of dishes to afford that car," and yet we still think "if I just wash these dishes hard enough I'll drive a ferrari one day." I'm saving this quote to tell people this later on.

the twist is to make others wash dishes obviously

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#130

Post by IggleSniggle »

whatshisface wrote: post #122
zo1 wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a crap cake most times I try the long-approach on a problem: I spend time researching, investigating, figuring out the best way to do it, implementing the solution and potentially being pulled off to something else in the meantime. And then comes along some spiffy "throw hammer at the problem" person that can't stand spending too much time on a problem, who then proceeds to solve it in some crappy way that "kind…

You could try becoming the person who jumps in and gets it done badly in one minute. The fact that you spend a lot of time researching the problem isn't a personal trait, it's something that you can choose to do or not do depending on the circumstances. The easiest way to extricate yourself from your present problem is to do what management wishes you were doing (perhaps a wish without full understanding of the conse…

Poster seems to want to do things “right;” doing things “not right” might or might not be a viable solution.
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