Live data from Hacker News

Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

techcrunch.com

121–130 of 145 posts

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

have you been outside recently? I mean outside without a phone for a couple of months. Give yourself a no-data diet, and just observe what is going on in others. Wait alone at a bus-stop or alone at a pub or cafe. You can see them addicted to their screens everywhere. It's the norm now to immediately reach for the phone because god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom. They are no longer human as far…

You don't "fix" loneliness with an external tool. The only solution to fix this is inside you (and it hurts if you do it right). Thinking this way is utterly toxic. It puts 100% of the onus to resolve an issue on the individual with no room for people to help each other. You might as well be telling depressed people to "think happy thoughts more" or telling anxious people to "snap out of it and be more resourceful".…

You are very right but it's also true that there's a low hanging fruit factor with 'application' to solve anything which often just shapeshift the problem.

Let's not forget the good old 'use the right tool'

late ps: half kidding, I often wonder what would happen if internet got cut for a long time (week~).

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#122
Hannah Arendt claims that loneliness was necessary for the rise of totalitarianism in the 20th century.

She writes:

> Loneliness, the common ground for terror, the essence of totalitarian government, and for ideology or logicality, the preparation of its executioners and victims, is closely connected with uprootedness and superfluousness which have been the curse of modern masses since the beginning of the industrial revolution and have become acute with the rise of imperialism at the end of the last century and the break-down of political institutions and social traditions in our own time. To be uprooted means to have no place in the world, recognized and guaranteed by others; to be superfluous means not to belong to the world at all. Uprootedness can be the preliminary condition for superfluousness, just as isolation can (but must not) be the preliminary condition for loneliness. Taken in itself, without consideration of its recent historical causes and its new role in politics, loneliness is at the same time contrary to the basic requirements of the human condition and one of the fundamental experiences of every human life. Even the experience of the materially and sensually given world depends upon my being in contact with other men, upon our common sense which regulates and controls all other senses and without which each of us would enclosed in his own particularity of sense data which in themselves are unreliable and treacherous. Only because we have common sense, that is only because not one man, but men in the plural inhabit the earth can we trust our immediate sensual experience. Yet, we have only to remind ourselves that one day we shall have to leave this common world which will go on as before and for whose continuity we are superfluous in order to realize loneliness, the experience of being abandoned by everything and everybody.

Dealing with "uprootedness and superfluousness" is one of the most perplexing questions facing modernity. I doubt an app can address this but...good luck.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#123
post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's time for us to recognize that we (the tech community) don't have all of the right answers, and it's time for us to reach out and try to learn, and try to participate in fixing the problems we helped create. Is this like when people in the past said the postal system couldn't ever replace visiting someone, and that the telephone would never replace letters, and that chat apps couldn't beat a phone call.. People i…

have you been outside recently? I mean outside without a phone for a couple of months. Give yourself a no-data diet, and just observe what is going on in others. Wait alone at a bus-stop or alone at a pub or cafe. You can see them addicted to their screens everywhere. It's the norm now to immediately reach for the phone because god forbid they might otherwise feel 2 seconds of boredom. They are no longer human as far…

But how do we stop? My wife and I got rid of our smartphones for a few months and just felt profoundly lonely because there’s no one to talk to. It feels like the only way to actually stop would be to have a community all willing to do so at the same time.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#124
post #94
post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To make some perspective, you started in a “clueless dad” mode about gaming and then went that route (gamers social grouping, etc) to justify the phenomenon. There is nothing to justify though. Someone is choosing a partner from a different country, who can fly over for a weekend. It is not “better” or “worse”, it is a selection from a bigger set of beautiful he-dogs, and all-time high expectations. You can see that…

There is nothing clueless about observation that people start playing games way sooner then they seek partners. There is nothing clueless about observation that it has social component - bonding among guys. In particular gamers tend to have whole social life composed of other gamers. The guys you described are not failing to meet some super high expectations. You described people with drug and alcohol issues who have…

>You described people with drug and alcohol issues who have game addiction issues on top.

I had no such thing in mind at all. Not sure if me or you misread this subthread, but blaming guys who cannot find a local match for their depression (if they take place; this idea was brought out of nowhere) seems too prejudicial, while more prosaic explanations exist - they cannot compete at their best.

Op was like “girls in town choose foreigners so local guys feel like loser”, and you jumped to “they are all game addicts, and drugs, and alcohol, their fault”.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#126
I'd argue that modern day issue of loneliness is an urban design problem way more than it is a technology problem.

The suburbs are isolating, and building strip malls instead of walkable downtowns (for both suburbs and denser areas) just adds to that. We pushed for the quiet and privacy of suburbs but took it so far that we eliminated the human interaction.

We need to start prioritizing spaces and urban design that encourage social interaction. Build walkable downtowns around commuter rail stations. More parks, coffeeshops, community spaces to suit different hobbies, etc.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#127
post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given that he opposed me first, if direct contradiction is what requires source, he should do it anyway. I literally dis this to very whether I am right: https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-sam...

Maybe I’m missing something, but number of divorces per 1,000 people (the “divorce rate”) does not control for marriage. It includes people who don’t get married, which makes the measure meaningless. I did some quick searching but did not find any statistics on divorce as a percentage of married per capita over time.

Luckily Germans like paperwork and statistics:

https://de.statista.com/statistik/daten/studie/76211/umfrage...

Can't speak for US / world. But I assume it's very similar.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#128
post #114
post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I normally don't post here but i just wanted to say that i've noticed the same thing around me and have also felt the crushing depression that comes with the realisation that everyone is addicted to something that's destroying the very fabric of our society. And your point about fixing loneliness through a painful but personal journey is spot on. If it doesn't hurt, you're not really doing it properly. Go out and mee…

> destroying the very fabric of our society. I'm like 99% certain that phrase has been said in one form or another throughout every single generation. Wasn't there an article about how magazines were deemed bad when they first made an appearance and people would bury their heads in them? Honestly, I just think for the most part people are afraid of change and would rather things continue the way they have. I try to r…

As with most things, humans are generally predictable. People in every generation will feel like their own society threatened in one form or another.

I'm not afraid of change - i grew up around technology during the 90s where we played outside every day and consider myself "up to date" wrt the current zeitgeist. I firmly believe technology (especially space tech) is the way forward but i still have reservations about the current sate of social media due to the effects on the psyche i see in people in my life. But that's just my experience.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#129
"Ikaria...named after the Greek island where a close-knit community helps extend people’s lifespans."

"Bader met Dadashi through an offline men’s group for discussing life, love and everything in the wake of Secret’s collapse and a rough romantic breakup. After just a few weeks of these meetups, they say they felt closer to each other than to most of their friends."

"Basically, since 2004, technology has created this monumental shift in the human social experience. We’re more connected than ever technically but all the studies show we’re lonelier than ever,” Bader explains. “It’s like eating McDonald’s to get healthy."

And the conclusion is to take VC money to make a slightly different McDonald's. I just can't even.

Re: Secret’s founder returns with anti-loneliness app Ikaria

#130
post #124
post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is nothing clueless about observation that people start playing games way sooner then they seek partners. There is nothing clueless about observation that it has social component - bonding among guys. In particular gamers tend to have whole social life composed of other gamers. The guys you described are not failing to meet some super high expectations. You described people with drug and alcohol issues who have…

>You described people with drug and alcohol issues who have game addiction issues on top. I had no such thing in mind at all. Not sure if me or you misread this subthread, but blaming guys who cannot find a local match for their depression (if they take place; this idea was brought out of nowhere) seems too prejudicial, while more prosaic explanations exist - they cannot compete at their best. Op was like “girls in t…

Nah, it was not merely depression. Full quote: "men of town have drowned themselves in video games, porn and drinking/drugs". Which is way more then being depressed. It does not matter whose is to be blamed, but dating anyone like that is receipt for unavailable alcoholic partner. And she won't meet him anyway, cause he is moving solely among males.

His explanation is "because they've no meaningful relationships", but then he proceed to define meaningfull relationships as romantic only.

No girl can fix any of that. They can't fix lack of friendship, can't fix lack of familly relationships, can't fix no roots in local community. Women are not rewards for good behavior nor cure for mental health problems. If you expect any of that, you will end up ressentful of partner who won't be able to provide that much.

Having long term partner is not cure all, nor cure for depression or loneliness. Not in long term, not after initial honeymoon passionate period ends.

I doubt that majority of town girls have foreign long distance intercultural partners. Such relationships are quote hard to keep and generally rare. Despite there being some girls with foreign boyfriend, majority will date local or not at all.

And plenty of girls have depressions on their own, mental health problems, bad habits, possibly own addiction struggles. Problems in families with relatives or on the job.

Post reply on HN