121–130 of 178 posts
Marriage satisfaction = love making - fighting
You are in error sir. Marriage Satisfaction = Fighting (or Total Conflict) - Unresolved Conflict Conflict among other things brings you closer together. A couple who "fight" well will stay together.
marital happiness = rate of lovemaking - rate of arguments
Source: http://books.google.com/books?id=_0H8gwj4a1MC&pg=PA393&#...
The problem in all this venting is that the advice is given to both sexes - it just discusses using comparative advantage to split up tasks, don't nag each other and slip between the sheets as much as possible. If you realise that the advice could equally apply to a gay couple you can see there actually isn't any gender bias in the article at all.
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Funny, I can't imagine being overweight as anything but irresponsible (mod specific health issues). And it is pretty much all on you. One thing that can be very helpful is to schedule exercise with other people (e.g. spouse). It's easier to get going with a group, it's more fun, and there is a social cost to canceling. You don't even have to do the same exercises -- just go to the gym or pool or park or whatever and…
In regards to equating being overweight and being irresponsible, I think you're right. I just had never seen it that way, and hopefully this can start a paradigm shift for me. What this implies is that overeating/under-exercising should be taboo just like smoking cigarettes. These things aren't considered taboo by some people, but maybe that's the reason people aren't healthier.
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Stereotypes exist for a reason.
Because it's easier than critical thinking?
In a way, yes.
In fact stereotyping is like writing a script rather than repeating the same process over and over. You may need to amend the script for a given situation of course, but it serves as a useful first approximation of a solution.
It is critical thinking that leads one to effective use of stereotypes: it's not always raining when it's cloudy outside but it's a useful indicator.
Then party like it's 1950. ETA: With the growing number of men who refuse to pick up every check, plan every date/event, act as sole provider for the family, purchase gifts regularly for their other half, etc. for fear of marrying a woman who is too focused on money... I'm really beginning to wonder what women are getting out of this marriage deal anymore.
That said, you have a point. Outside of child-bearing (and even there...) marriage seems less and less useful. I don't see this as a bad thing, but YMMV.
Comparative advantage is the name of the game. My parents have been doing that for years, even when my mom ends up with some manly work (tall house + lots of Christmas lights) and my dad ends up with some non-manly work. It works pretty well for them. They even optimized which kid helps them, I worked better with my mom (I was all about getting a list of chores and powering through them when I had time, and so is she…
My wife and I just assign each job to whichever of us is less annoyed by having to do it, and somehow it all seems to balance out. She cleans the bathrooms and does the laundry, I sweep and vacuum and take out the trash, she makes the coffee in the morning and I turn off the lights at night. We certainly aim to be equal partners in our marriage, but instead of tallying everything up for some perfectly fair 50/50 divi…
That seems somewhat inevitable. A lot of those gender roles are there precisely for comparative advantage and "do the thing that annoys you less" reasons. It just happens that statistically fewer men are annoyed by trash (e.g. they never get pregnant, so don't have months-long periods when they just can't deal with it at all), women are better at taking care of infants (e.g. can often feed them more easiy), and so forth. On average, etc. ;)
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Stereotypes exist for a reason.
Because it's easier than critical thinking?
This is the first popular publication article I've seen that has given the very important cognitive overload aspect of nagging--and especially multi-pronged nagging litany, which seems to be the most common kind--the treatment it deserves: But when it comes to nagging reminders about what your spouse still has to do after a long day working for the man—take out the recycling, walk the dog, write a thank-you letter, d…
I would group it all into one tip: Make an effort with your relationship. Like everything good in life it takes work to have a good relationship. If you make an effort to have a good relationship, applying thought and energy day to day, you will grow a healthy satisfying relationship.
Stop and think about your relationship.
Put your effort into things that are worthwhile. I've caught myself many times putting my energy into the aspects of our relationship that don't matter, while missing big big things because I thought I had the whole thing covered.