A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life • Hacker News Board

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#121

Post by WalterBright » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:10 AM UTC

WalterBright wrote: post #58

Diederich wrote: post #23

I was raised by my grandparents. They were born in the 1910s, and grew up in the midwest during the dust bowl and great depression. My grandfather lost most of his buddies in Guadalcanal and Burma during World War II, and, in his own words, fully expected to become worm food himself. He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every da…

> He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every day, every year, every one of the six decades past 1944 was a cherry on top gift. My father, B-17 navigator, said he accepted that he was going to die in combat. The odds at the time of surviving were terrible (about 80% casualties). He did survive (hence my existence), and told me th…

I'll add that he said there's the "I've been shot at" club in the military that nobody realizes exists until they join it.

Essentially, being shot at changes you.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#122

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:21 AM UTC

ghthor wrote: post #111

outworlder wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And if God doesn't exist, then nothing matters anyways, so why worry? I would argue the opposite: if god does exist, then nothing really matters anymore, except the whims of a powerful entity. Not having a supernatural power meddling in our affairs liberates us to do great things.

It's a shame that we've done such a poor job at teaching the wisdom brought to us from the abrahamic religions (judaism, christianity, islam). The real seed of the message is that the one true God is not a noun, it's a verb. Can a verb have an agenda and a plan? By my own experience, the common misunderstanding that God is a noun is nothing more then a projection of our human egos. In a way, using God(verb) to projec…

[deleted]

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#123

Post by chillwaves » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:29 AM UTC

Diederich wrote: post #23

I was raised by my grandparents. They were born in the 1910s, and grew up in the midwest during the dust bowl and great depression. My grandfather lost most of his buddies in Guadalcanal and Burma during World War II, and, in his own words, fully expected to become worm food himself. He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every da…

I find this a cavalier attitude. I'm glad that your grandpa seems to have life a life fulfilled, but that's not the reality for many folks.

If his biology allows him to trudge on, to always see the silver lining, how can you call this wisdom? Some people have a lower tolerance for suffering. Some people do not find life worth living, maybe for biological reasons.

The reason I don't call this wisdom is because for many or most people, this is not an idea that can be realized through words or knowledge alone.

I don't need someone to tell me to be happy. I need the ability to be happy.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#124

Post by chillwaves » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:32 AM UTC

starpilot wrote: post #103

This is why people make fun of HN. How to be a billionaire: Work hard! How to start a business: Start working, believe in yourself! Now that I've read OP article, I realize what I've been doing wrong all my life. I had disabled my "fun" switch. Glad someone finally pointed it out. Everything is so much better now, wow! Thank you!

I value this comment. I find the original article akin to associating a good "soul" or a condemned "soul".

It is hand waving simplicity against the complex reality of biological limitations. Some people simply have more endurance for the suffering of life, better motivation or better opportunity and environment.

I want everyone to live to seek their potential, but there is no answer to finding peace (or happiness) in life.

At least not an answer that can be communicated through words.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#125

Post by hindsightRegret » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:38 AM UTC

Is this an article or a commercial? Psych, it's both!

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#126

Post by chillwaves » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:45 AM UTC

coldtea wrote: post #75

david-gpu wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And if God doesn't exist, then nothing matters anyways, so why worry? I'm not trying to start a pointless debate, your comment really made me curious. Let's imagine the Christian god doesnt't exist. How does that logically lead to nothing mattering? As a lifelong atheist there are plenty of things that matter to me: the well-being of people (particularly those around me), peace, justice, climate change, etc. Are th…

> As a lifelong atheist there are plenty of things that matter to me: the well-being of people (particularly those around me), peace, justice, climate change, etc. Are these goals not valuable in themselves? Well, they can be valuable subjectively. Then again, useless things can also be valuable subjectively (e.g. a person obsessing about hoarding BS at their home). But objectively, and in the long scheme of things,…

The point is that life has value, that good experiences have value and that you should build a future for the life to come and not be so self centered. Thank the ones who came before you to make your life possible.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#127

Post by chillwaves » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:45 AM UTC

NeoBasilisk wrote: post #59

david-gpu wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And if God doesn't exist, then nothing matters anyways, so why worry? I'm not trying to start a pointless debate, your comment really made me curious. Let's imagine the Christian god doesnt't exist. How does that logically lead to nothing mattering? As a lifelong atheist there are plenty of things that matter to me: the well-being of people (particularly those around me), peace, justice, climate change, etc. Are th…

Things can matter to you, but they are not things that objectively matter.

What does that even mean?

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#128

Post by Supermancho » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 7:52 AM UTC

honzzz wrote: post #120

bamboozled wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can’t you just read about others stories like this and put yourself in their shoes, I guess it’s enough. There is suffering on an immense scale daily. * Warning - Following is Graphic not for sensitive people * For example I read from the comfort of my bed last night that a beekeeper just lost practically everything in Australia and when fires ripped through his property, to add insult to injury, when he went into th…

I have to admit that the warning (multiple) for sensitive people bugs me. I believe you mean well but I think this meme should die. If this is not overprotectiveness then I do not know what is. You are not leading people to fire, you are leading them to an article about fire. Everybody reading it should be happy they can just read about it and they do not have to live it.

Indeed, nothing says condescending and self absorbed like a disclosure that is code for "you may be too mentally challenged/fragile to participate in an open exhange of ideas, particularly these, child"

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#129

Post by countessRostov » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 8:12 AM UTC

mortenjorck wrote: post #110

devmunchies wrote: post #32

Hayao Miyazaki (Studio Ghibli) said (at around 70 as well), "The notion that one's goal in life is to be happy, that your own happiness is the goal... I just don't buy it" I think as we focus on mastery or craftsmanship, happiness finds us. Not everyone, but I'd say modern society is hedonistic—we seek happiness instead of achievement and get neither.

The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness (from which I believe that quote originates) actually affected me quite a bit. Rather than some kind of hedonistic bucket list, the film's depiction of Miyazaki gave me a very different model for later life: To spend a lifetime mastering one's craft, and to take joy in the everyday process of exercising and improving it. Most of us will not become acclaimed directors like Miyazaki, o…

All very well and inspiring, but how am I meant to make enough money to pay rent and buy groceries when trying to master my craft? This works great if your dream lines up with capitalism, but for a lot of us software development is just a means to pay the bills, not a reason to live.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#130

Post by ido » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 8:16 AM UTC

m463 wrote: post #118

seppin wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Upon return to civilian life, he said he was astounded by the triviality of peoples' everyday life concerns. They were going to live another day, what did they have to be concerned about? Perhaps the key to a well-adjusted view of life is trauma? To show you how good the rest of life can be.

I've learned the most about life from "character building experiences". They are usually unpleasant. They could be as simple as somone telling you not to be stupid, or as complicated as finding lessons out the hard way. The experiences give you the resolve or clues or whatever to avoid bad choices, or appreciate good ones. Or help others understand (if they're receptive).

It could! And it can also fuck you up for life.

My grandfather was a teenager during WW2. He was a Polish Jew and lucky to have seen the writing on the wall and fled eastwards when the Nazis invaded (almost the entire rest of his large family died in the holocaust - his only living relative was his brother, who died as a soldier in 1948 in the Israeli war of independence).

He had a horrible time during the war but eventually found safety as a refugee in the soviet union (after they put him to 2 years of forced labor in a coal mine). He met my grandmother in the Ukraine & together they fled to Uzbekistan where my mother was born a few months after the end of the war.

He used to say that during those time he fantasied about owning/operating a flour mill after the war, so that he could always bake bread and never be hungry.

He had a psychotic episode in the 70s and was put on medication that he continued taking his entire life afterwards. He was a deeply harsh, grumpy & unhappy person the entire time I knew him (roughly the last 20 years of his life). According to what my mother told me about her & my uncle's upbringing he would also be considered a terrible father these days (due to his own emotional/psychic state no doubt).

So I would personally put a strong recommendation against experiencing extreme hardships in order to "build character" - I rather my character remain unbuilt than experience war, genocide & forced labor camps.