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Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

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Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#121

Post by ronnier »

nostrademons wrote: post #61
mduvall wrote: post #2

Everybody in college pretends to be not working hard as they like to admit, thus the advice that comes from colleagues along the lines of "don't do the homework, it's really a waste of time" when everybody is actually doing it, could screw you over. It didn't mess up my life per se, but definitely had an impact on my grades when I was a naive freshman.

It's funny, all the advice I had from upperclassmen when I started college was "do your homework and go to class", and I did neither, and I don't regret it at all. Yes, it hurt my grades. However, I've found that my grades haven't mattered at all.

I never thought grades mattered much either, until recently. I was asked my GPA a few weeks ago.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#123

Post by a5seo »

Advisor suggested I should go ahead and to start my next venture concurrent with my 3 yr earnout on the company I'd just sold. Long story short, my idea + my money + 25% of my time + nontechnical cofounder getting salary and 40% sweat equity = 9 mos of dev turned into 24, launching after several competitors, all seed money burned on dev, no money for marketing, slow sales ramp, running out of cash, selling my stake to another investor for 50% of what I paid. Company still exists, cash flow breakeven, but my equity is all but washed out. Had I focused 100% I would have 100% of a very nice micro ISV.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#124

Post by marvin »

ses wrote: post #38
ericb wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an opposing viewpoint, every major advance in my life has come from stepping outside of my comfort zone and tackling something in which I had no idea what I was doing. -public speaking -asking women out -learning to dance -socializing/making friends -lifting weights -starting a business -doing sales work -learning to program edit: The vast majority of these made me very uncomfortable and awkard, not "a little".

I couldn't agree more with the sentiment that - often - stepping outside your comfort zone can lead to good things. However there has to be some reason you want to do it, despite it making you uncomfortable. Otherwise the fact that you're not being yourself will overshadow whatever it is you're trying to achieve. I made myself go back to university when my first experience was not successful, I'm now on track for a g…

Of course you have to have some reason to go outside your comfort zone. If anyone has ever suggested otherwise, they have misunderstood the concept completely. The point is to grow as a person and achieve proficiency in an area you want, but which doesn't come naturally to you.

You're not supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable just for the hell of it.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#125

Post by grandalf »

"Just do your best". This advice is intended to allow focused effort without harping on competitive aspects, but it has the effect of detaching the doer from any sense of responsibility for the outcome, and also leads to self-deception if you lie to yourself and claim that you did your best.

Sometimes it's OK to do less than your best, other times your best isn't good enough. Results are what matter, so figure out what result you want and accomplish it.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#127

Post by nostrademons »

ronnier wrote: post #121
nostrademons wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's funny, all the advice I had from upperclassmen when I started college was "do your homework and go to class", and I did neither, and I don't regret it at all. Yes, it hurt my grades. However, I've found that my grades haven't mattered at all.

I never thought grades mattered much either, until recently. I was asked my GPA a few weeks ago.

I was asked my GPA at my first job, told them (it was bad), then they made me an offer anyway.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#128

Post by rradu »

ronnier wrote: post #122

I was never told this, but I know it is said, and said often that "you can be whatever you want". I don't believe that, nor do I think it's healthy for children to be told it because it's flat out not true.

Why is it not true? As a child, future possibilities are endless. There's no need to set limits so early.

I hold firm to the belief that I can do anything I set my mind to--even if it means failing a few times.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#129

Post by etherael »

That investing time and effort into the skills necessary to build things with technology is a waste because within a couple of years it will all be outsourced to third world countries and there will be no jobs left in this area for people in first world countries. I should develop my interpersonal skills, design and creative arts ability with a view to becoming a translator between large corporate insensibility and those that will have to actually get things done for them in the future in aforementioned third world countries.

This was not 100% terrible advice, because it did make me actually look outside the sphere of science and technology into areas I was before utterly uninterested in and considered to be faintly grimy. However in retrospect the premise is utterly flawed and there would have been much, much better ways to expand my interpersonal skills without feeling guilty about being passionate about technology and actually getting things done with it myself.

I got this advice in 2002. As long as I actually considered it useful, my life has been worse, as soon as I gave up on it, my life immediately got immensely better.

Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?

#130

Post by larrywright »

Tycho wrote: post #89

Stuff they tell you in Sunday school which is impossible/undesirable in practical terms yet leaves a lingering sense of unworthiness about one's own character and a lack of healthy ambition: - love thy neighbour - don't be selfish - don't care about money/possessions - don't judge Oh, and also: install OpenOffice.org

What about those things is undesirable? Leaving religion aside, it seems like all those (OpenOffice aside :) lead to a much happier state of mind than the alternative.
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