maybe the 'get more' is mostly a dynamic adaptive limit sensing mechanism. 'get more until you feel satisfied' as opposed to 'dont ever try'
The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
121–130 of 195 posts
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#122“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yours…
I disagree. I wrote this in another thread just yesterday I think. My philosophy: make the best choice you can given the information you have, and you'll not have cause to regret anything in your life. Some choices might hurt and you might not like the outcome, but you did what you felt was best. You can learn from it, but there is never cause to regret it.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#123Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Then what is it? It's a response. Internal responses, sure, but also - and more dramatically - to external ones. > Jordan Peterson, who for a long time I wrote off as a crackpot Trust your initial instincts ;)
Some of what he says is a bit disturbing, but he has a lot of statistics and cites a lot of sources that seem very credible, and I've yet to come across any counter-arguments that are anything more than incredulity and ideology. I'd love to see a plausible and knowledgeable counter argument.
What is the argument you want to see countered?
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#124There is nothing which will make you happy. You must choose to be happy. There is no job, no amount of money, no relationship, which will make you feel whole and happy and content and done. The opposite doesn't hold - there are jobs and relationships and financial strains which will certainly keep you from being happy. The goal isn't for a job or a relationship to make you happy. It's to enable other things which are…
This reminds me of a quote from Stewart Brand during an interview with Tim Ferris. ".... and being proud is the most reliable source of happiness that I know."[ https://tim.blog/2018/02/03/the-tim-ferriss-show-transcripts... ] Teach yourself how to cook, get in shape, draw a picture, write a story, help someone less fortunate, teach someone something you know, learn how to juggle... In the end it doesn't really matte…
Pride is also frail, see people who talk about impostor syndrom, they have weak pride, if at all, even when they get a good position. Self-esteem has to be calibrated, then you can have stable pride and, I agree, happiness.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#125Money gave me stability. Stability allowed me to have time for introspection. Introspection allowed me to target issues in my life. Fixing those issues is lowering my discomfort in life. Money won't fix anything for you but it will provide you an environment where you can.
>Money gave me stability. The lows are very different when you have money and when you don't have money. When you are struggling financially and a single event (e.g. car breaking down) can spiral into wrecking your entire life, you it's hard to "let go" of that. When you are financially stable there are a lot of frustrations (e.g. work stress) you can learn to cope with, control, or let go of.
I always liked how Dave Ramsey explained it.
* If you're broke and the car breaks down, it's both a car crisis and an extra financial crisis (need money to fix the car).
* If you have enough money saved and the car breaks down, it's merely a car crisis ... and, given that you're capable of fixing the car, it's less of a crisis, at that.
The whole dynamic changes.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#126Earlier quoted context omitted.
I went mattress shopping yesterday. The fact that there's options for financing a $2000 purchase is indicative that "just enough" is, in fact, not.
This is one of those crazy cases where parts of American population were seemingly hypnotised by advertising and are spending insane amounts of money on a commodity item. Here in Poland, the most I've paid for a mattress was an equivalent of $130. I've never had problems with them.
We ended up buy a model that was about $2000 just because we could tell the difference between the $700 model. But yeah, why is it $2000? What value is there actually in the mattress that justifies it? And if a cheaper option exists that would allow one to exist within one's needs, why not get that instead?
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#127As an outlier poor kid who made money, I can really relate to this. This is a thought-provoking piece, and hits on a lot of things I think about often. But, I think some of us aren’t necessarily in the hedonic treadmill game. Some of us keep working to gain more wealth not be of higher social status but because we fear being relegated back to poor-guy status. Now, I often do want to be the non-rich guy again. I see m…
> as the police are mostly paid to watch you Just yesterday I was talking to someone who's father contributed $10,000 to the reelection campaign for the local sheriff. I asked him why he did that and the response was so that the sheriff would feel obligated to the guy's father.
Politicisation of the police seems like a terrible idea. We have been trying to do it in the UK, fortunately it seems to be failing and will likely get canned the next time we have a change of government.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#128Earlier quoted context omitted.
Wealth creates discomforts and tells you that you need wealth to alleviate them. Don't buy into it the hype too much.
What discomfort does wealth create? It enables you to make yourself uncomfortable, yes, but wealth itself will not make you uncomfortable.
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Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#129There is nothing which will make you happy. You must choose to be happy. There is no job, no amount of money, no relationship, which will make you feel whole and happy and content and done. The opposite doesn't hold - there are jobs and relationships and financial strains which will certainly keep you from being happy. The goal isn't for a job or a relationship to make you happy. It's to enable other things which are…
Happiness is not a choice. If you think it is, try learning more about clinical depression.
We can choose to be content, and we can choose to be open to being happy.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#130“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yours…
I disagree. I wrote this in another thread just yesterday I think. My philosophy: make the best choice you can given the information you have, and you'll not have cause to regret anything in your life. Some choices might hurt and you might not like the outcome, but you did what you felt was best. You can learn from it, but there is never cause to regret it.
You can't just "logic" away regret. We make bad choices, no matter what, and that causes regret.