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Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

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Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#121

Post by irrational »

Rotdhizon wrote: post #9

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

Just this morning there was a new item in my feed, "Axe attack: Woman guilty of trying to kill strangers". Now, is it likely that I'm going to run into an axe-wielding stranger today? Statistically no. But after being fed daily news stories about the crazy people that are out there... well, better safe than sorry. If you are a stranger you'd better not even make eye contact with me or I'll be bolting in the opposite direction.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#122

Post by Nav_Panel »

sp332 wrote: post #119
Nav_Panel wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed, but is loneliness primarily a health concern?

Yeah, suicides are climbing, up 50% since 1999. It's the #2 cause of death of people between 10-34. https://www.cdc.gov/injury/images/lc-charts/leading_causes_o...

To rephrase my question: is preventing suicide the primary reason why we should address loneliness?

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#123

Post by psyklic »

coryfklein wrote: post #15

For a long time I've been wanting a "Tinder For Platonic Adults" app. I'm not looking for romance or sex, but I want to find nearby matches with similar interests; do you drink, play board games, are you married, how many kids and what age? There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them . I'm a friendly guy and would love to have that friend that feels comfortable…

I founded a company that did this. Despite our best efforts and aggressive marketing campaigns, it turned into a dating site. For example, messaging almost entirely stopped when we only matched same sexes. We found that even if the app is used for making friends, people look for someone they're attracted to first, since it's just more fun.

During our market research, nearly everyone wanted to meet new friends and liked the idea. However, in practice noone thinks of using an app/website to make friends, and there's no driving motivator like with dating or employment.

We all know it's exciting to meet people serendipitously in person. However, being exposed to lots of profiles online that look similar and tell you everything up front takes the magic away.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#124

Post by watwut »

magduf wrote: post #74
ronnier wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It would be interesting to know if men are more lonely than women as everything I've seen has shown that it's easier for women to join social circles and find dates whereas most men struggle with this. As a result, I wonder if this connects to the much high suicide rate for men.

Just from looking at Meetup.com, I see all kinds of social groups just for women in my metro area, but I never see such things for men. There's social groups for everyone, and social groups just for women, and also social groups just for particular little subgroups (LGBT, [religion], etc.). I think there's something to this. Another thing I've noticed is how many urban women get their exercise from "classes": barre,…

There are box clubs, amateur soccer clubs, boardgames meetups, tech meetups etc. They are not male only, but mostly males go there. I have also seen craft classes with appeal to men or with 50-50 split among members. A community tends to form around it.

Yoga and pilates attracts mostly women, but they won't kick out males either (as in, I seen guys there, but like 1-2 for full class of women).

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#125

Post by irrational »

ryandrake wrote: post #94
Rotdhizon wrote: post #9

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

I think we can learn a lot from kids in this area. My six year old is so much more open and tolerant than I. Her thought process: “you look like my age, let’s play and be friends!” And now the parents are arranging playtime next week. Just like that! We adults could learn a lot from that outlook.

I've tried going up to women that look my age and asking if they want to play or arrange a playtime, but they keep turning me down :-(

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#126

Post by digi_owl »

ryandrake wrote: post #94
Rotdhizon wrote: post #9

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

I think we can learn a lot from kids in this area. My six year old is so much more open and tolerant than I. Her thought process: “you look like my age, let’s play and be friends!” And now the parents are arranging playtime next week. Just like that! We adults could learn a lot from that outlook.

And then a few years later X don't wanna play with Y because Z don't like them etc etc etc...

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#127

Post by abledon »

loblollyboy wrote: post #106
kudokatz wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them. I have found meetup.com to be exactly this. Not everybody at a meetup will click personally, but they're much more likely to share interests. One meetup group has completely changed my life, and I have met people I consider some of the best people I have ever encountered anywhere. And they all live right near me.

I think almost every lonely person considers this, but when you are lonely you might also be depressed and that makes it hard t go meet other ppl because of one or some combo of the following: 1. you feel like nobody would want to associate with your miserable ass 2. you are low on energy from feeling sad and 3. you actually are not interested in anything. Thats what I went through and probably would be going through…

Thing about meetup.com which messes up touches on your point.

Even though you may feel down... you get those small 'silces' of energy... even if they are brief.... You need to hit that 30 minute window of feeling pumped to go out and socialize.

Feeling pumped? Yeah ! lets do this! goes on meetup.com.... F* the next cool thing is Sept 2. 89 hours away..... 30 minute window of feeling pumped to go socialize fades away...

A better solution would be a queueing system like a video game a-la league of legends.... Want to socialize NOW.?!?! Did you just read an awesome book by Brandon Sanderson, or want to talk about FIFA ? Browse the dream app / Meetup 3.0 to see queue up spots nearby (hopefully situated at starbucks , mcdonalds, libraries or any other form of public space (that is shrinking in cities)).

I'd do it myself but the legalities of a startup just seem like a truck-ton of work here in Canada (harder to setup the equivalent of a LLC).

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#128

Post by davnicwil »

mLuby wrote: post #103
gf263 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Try Bumble's BFF feature

Anecdotal evidence suggests not all Bumble BFF seekers actually have platonic intentions, kind of defeating the point of the feature.

I mean, some percentage of people using any service which matches people up for social activities will not have platonic intentions, whether knowingly or not. I think the point of the feature is to minimise the chances of this being the case, right?

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#130

Post by davesque »

gwbas1c wrote: post #61

Honestly, I've never had problems talking to random strangers. Some of my best friends were random strangers at first. IMO, the problem has nothing to do with the internet. Instead, the problem has more to do with poorly controlling marketing and homelessness. Political correctness also takes a toll. When I lived in the Bay Area, most of the time I was randomly approached, "on the street," it was from a homeless pers…

I think your personal experience might be more specific to your location. For example, I live in a town where neither one of those things (marketing or homelessness) is a problem and, yet, it's still hard to meet people.
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