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The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

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Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#111

Post by ta0967 »

IndianAstronaut wrote: post #81
DanBC wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are several ways this can happen. A person can be at school and have a small number of friends. They then leave to go to college and lose those friends. They may make a few more friends at college. They then leave college and go to work - and again they lose their friends. Once you're at work it is hard for some people to male friends. This isn't a new or unusual point of view. We freqently hear about how lonel…

I do wonder what it is about the psychology of the 40 year old which makes it harder to form new friendships than say a 20 year old.

i'd say dwingling neuroplasticity and brain chemistry.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#112

Post by contergan »

keithpeter wrote: post #105
teek wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Japan is incredibly stubborn and ignorant when it comes to addressing core social and psychological problems in their society. It isn't even recognized by most of the population so when people begin to complain of their own social issues or depression, people around them will slowly distance themselves from that person. As a result, most people will choose to hide their issues until it is unbearable. At the point the…

"Japan is incredibly stubborn and ignorant when it comes to addressing core social and psychological problems in their society." Not just Japan http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-33... Politicians in the UK talk about community this and community that but in practice we are losing the ties between neighbours/families.

Well, what do you expect? Multiculturalism and a strong sense of community don't really go together very well.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#113

Post by MrBuddyCasino »

anovikov wrote: post #100
DanBC wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a little bit like telling someone with a phobia of spiders to just stop being scared of spiders.

In Slavic countries, men have to struggle with the opposite: how to avoid marriage at all costs.

Please elaborate - this could get interesting.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#114

Post by Tistel »

rjuyal wrote: post #27

This is scary. This is the first time I read such article. I live alone, never married ( no plans to marry either ), have no friends. I have a decent job though. This article scares me.

Me too. I live in a city far from where I grew up. Good job. Lots of money. Don't know a soul.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#115

Post by cmdrfred »

sliverstorm wrote: post #59
impendia wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I lived in Japan for two years, and studied the language, and it was amazing how that sentence always brought any discussion to a conclusion. Grammatically, its negation would be "Shikata ga aru", but I never heard this said once.

Sounds like it's a thought-terminating cliche- of which we have many in English.

well, that's just the way it goes.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#116

Post by auganov »

JesperRavn wrote: post #34

Why are there so many stories HN on social problems in Asia? I would have expected that smart people on HN would make some effort to understand Orientalism[0]. In the case of this story, this is a phenomenon that is occurring all around the developed world. Japan is in many ways just another developed country. But through the eyes of Orientalism, Japan's problems are unique and quaint, and the objective Westerner can…

I particularly don't like how many will insist on using the original Japanese term as if it was untranslatable, inapplicable to the outside world.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#117

Post by RaSoJo »

lani wrote: post #41
teek wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Japan is incredibly stubborn and ignorant when it comes to addressing core social and psychological problems in their society. It isn't even recognized by most of the population so when people begin to complain of their own social issues or depression, people around them will slowly distance themselves from that person. As a result, most people will choose to hide their issues until it is unbearable. At the point the…

How about a startup where one can dial a 1-800 number from Japan and get someone in ,say, Europe, who is also bored, and the two can rant to each other about how bad things are , and then go back to their lives ? International PainBuddy program, Dial-An-Agony . 1800-call-pain !! Best part, we pay a couple of life coaches to analyse some rants and provide anonymous advice

I cannot agree with you enough. I must add that, personally i feel more comfortable discussing problems with total strangers - this avoids the social ramifications part. do hope someone picks this idea up seriously.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#118

Post by yummyfajitas »

DanBC wrote: post #110
blfr wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you have a phobia that impedes your life, you probably should overcome it. It's also easier to get over spiders, or get married than become a billionaire.

Yes, if you have a phobia you should overcome it. We know that telling people to just get over it doesn't work. That's why we provide short courses of carefully planned therapy. Similarly telling a lonely person to just get over it does nothing to help that person. It might even make things worse - increasing feelings of failure and hopelessness.

We know that telling people to just get over it doesn't work. That's why we provide short courses of carefully planned therapy.

These two sentences seem to contradict each other - the short courses of planned therapy are basically a therapist saying "get over it" and providing opportunities to ease into getting over it.

And in this particular case, I can state confidently that telling people to just get over it does work. I've done it with a number of people, mostly successfully. At first they think approaching women is just one of my firangi powers and completely impossible for a desi. Then they try it themselves and discover it works better for them than for me.

If you are in this situation, go to a pickup artist, red pill or other male self improvement subreddit and follow the FAQ. (Do NOT internalize the misogyny - that stuff is toxic.) Unless you are completely hideous in a manner that can't be fixed by lifting and eating right (read: facial disfigurement, muscular dystrophy) there is a simple program to follow to solve your problems.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#119

Post by tomjen3 »

IndianAstronaut wrote: post #81
DanBC wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are several ways this can happen. A person can be at school and have a small number of friends. They then leave to go to college and lose those friends. They may make a few more friends at college. They then leave college and go to work - and again they lose their friends. Once you're at work it is hard for some people to male friends. This isn't a new or unusual point of view. We freqently hear about how lonel…

I do wonder what it is about the psychology of the 40 year old which makes it harder to form new friendships than say a 20 year old.

I doubt it is the psychology, but the lack of shared experiences outside work. In school you have shared experiences and you grow to like some of the guys you hang out with. You don't hang out (much) at work and so don't have the shared experiences and consequently make no bonds.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#120

Post by tomjen3 »

yellowapple wrote: post #10
pcrh wrote: post #8

>We enter the world alone, we leave the world alone. ...or... >For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone.

Unless you were born in a vat, you probably didn't enter the world alone.

I came into this world naked, screaming and covered in blood. I would prefer going away a bit more dignified.
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