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“Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

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Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#111

Post by bpyne »

littletimmy wrote: post #91
marktangotango wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his parents wealth is his also, and later willingly contribute his earnings when his parents need anything. It is a difference in the degree to which individualism is the norm. This is very interesting, and brings to mind something I've been struggling with recently (I'm USA-ian by…

Hah, you're welcome. This is really interesting because it raises the question: what role does affluence have to play in all of this? In the case of my country, people usually aren't rich enough to save for retirement, nor are starting salaries high enough for young adults to stake out on their own. So parents help their kids right up to the point they can no longer work, and then kids take over to provide for the fa…

I think we need to have a better idea what's meant by "family ties". I'm from the US. My teammate on a project is a woman from India. (We're both working in the US.) She doesn't have children, but I have a 9yo daughter. We talk about differences in how my wife and I raise our daughter versus how she was raised. My wife and I follow the trend in the US of being very involved in our daughter's life. We walk her to school, volunteer for her softball and basketball leagues, and play key roles in the PTA. I stepped back my software engineering career so that I can pick her up a few days a week from school and either hang out, setup a play date, or bring her to an activity. (As an aside, because I'm part-time employed now, I assumed more of the household tasks. There seems to be a trend in this direction in the US for men.)

In my teammate's experience, parents in India tend to be more hands off and let their kids develop independence earlier. Parents focus more on career. Grandparents are more involved with caring for the children while parents work. Despite the more hands off approach, my teammate misses her parents greatly and was very sad and worried when her father was ill recently.

The parenting approaches are different, but the ephemeral "family tie" seems to be present in both situations.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#112

Post by bitwize »

In America we are conditioned with a moral duty to be appreciative for what we have and how fortunate we are. It probably stems from the religious nature of some of the early colonies, which religion was Calvinist in nature and big on divine providence, and how it is only by the whim of God that you have a roof over your head, food on the table, a supportive family, etc. We set aside an entire day -- Thanksgiving -- for expressing gratitude and in practical terms that's stretched over a four-day weekend.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#114

Post by icebraining »

thedaemon wrote: post #110
icebraining wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not from the US, and I've never heard of anyone paid biweekly, that's why I found it weird. According to the US Bureau of Labour Statistics, it's actually the most common schedule over there: http://www.bls.gov/opub/btn/volume-3/how-frequently-do-priva...

Bi-weekly means you would get 2 paychecks a week. Did you mean bi-monthly? Also to chime in a bit, I get a paycheck every week.

Bi-weekly means you would get 2 paychecks a week.

That's not the definition everyone uses :)

From the Bureau link I posted above: "Biweekly is the most common length of pay period, with 36.5 percent of U.S. private businesses paying their employees every 2 weeks."

(Check out online dictionaries too: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/biweekly#Adjective)

It seems the difference between biweekly (using this definition) and bimonthly is that occasionally you might get paid three times in a month, since the weeks don't align with the months.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#115

Post by frandroid »

fareesh wrote: post #101

I think it's important to point out that India is very culturally diverse. I have lived in Mumbai for 22 years, and Canada for 8 years. I have said "thank you" to people all my life. I do it consciously and sincerely - cashiers, rickshaw drivers, waiters, friends, peers, everybody. I don't think I've ever offended anybody - at least not that I know of. With regard to family - neither of my parents' respective familie…

Who is this 7 million people?

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#116

Post by MacsHeadroom »

darkroasted wrote: post #2

As an American, I've sometimes been bothered by the use of thank you. It is fine as a pleasantry at a restaurant. But it always felt odd coming from a boss or from the company CEO. I think to myself, "I didn't do this piece of work as a favor to you, I didn't because you are paying me and you told me to do it." It is interesting to read that this view is more common in other cultures. I also dislike putting "thank yo…

Imagine the distance thanking someone for sex would put between you. Like the scenario you gave, it implies the other person was doing you a favor- which also implies the act wasn't totally genuine.

I grew up in North America. But I rarely thank anyone. I think I've thanked people in a work setting maybe twice in my entire career- and only because the other party was doing me a favour.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#117

Post by [deleted] »

marktangotango wrote: post #86
littletimmy wrote: post #49

As a non-American, this was one of the biggest culture shocks I faced. On the surface, relationships in the US seem very transactional (not making the judgment that they are really transactional). For example, in the US a son would thank his parents for paying his college tuition. In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his…

>> In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his parents wealth is his also, and later willingly contribute his earnings when his parents need anything. It is a difference in the degree to which individualism is the norm. This is very interesting, and brings to mind something I've been struggling with recently (I'm USA-ian by…

[deleted]

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#118

Post by dharmach »

littletimmy wrote: post #49

As a non-American, this was one of the biggest culture shocks I faced. On the surface, relationships in the US seem very transactional (not making the judgment that they are really transactional). For example, in the US a son would thank his parents for paying his college tuition. In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his…

Some languages are more explicit and formal compared to others for historical reasons. That's why so many things get lost in translation.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#119

Post by Tactic »

notNow wrote: post #102
marktangotango wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his parents wealth is his also, and later willingly contribute his earnings when his parents need anything. It is a difference in the degree to which individualism is the norm. This is very interesting, and brings to mind something I've been struggling with recently (I'm USA-ian by…

So, from that angle, I don't want my children to see my wealth as their wealth, or my success as their success. I would like them to view my success as the result of hard work and perseverance, and an example of what they can achieve, indeed, they can achieve more. I advise to look out for the opposite perspective or angle to this that it might be viewed as a form of abuse, unnecessary harshness or worse meagerness.…

I think there is a clear balance that can be struck with saying "This is what I have created and I share it with you out of love" and "What I created is yours by virtue of being my child". I think the results he seeks can be achieved without wandering into "tough love" realms. In fact, I assume he means it more in that sense.

My children have thanked me for giving them that strength and individualism. For allowing them to not having it all handed to them. I practiced similar to the parent and my relationship with my children is rock solid.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#120

Post by fareesh »

frandroid wrote: post #115
fareesh wrote: post #101

I think it's important to point out that India is very culturally diverse. I have lived in Mumbai for 22 years, and Canada for 8 years. I have said "thank you" to people all my life. I do it consciously and sincerely - cashiers, rickshaw drivers, waiters, friends, peers, everybody. I don't think I've ever offended anybody - at least not that I know of. With regard to family - neither of my parents' respective familie…

Who is this 7 million people?

Christians, Sikhs, Buddhists, Jains and "Others" - since my cultural background is a combination of some of those, I'm fairly confident that the author's perspective does not reflect my community, and likely some of the other minority communities, of which India has 7 million people.
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