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Want people to trust you? Try apologising for the rain

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Re: Want people to trust you? Try apologising for the rain

#111
post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Learning how to not always feel the weight on my shoulders and chest though. I want to give you advice on how to do that, but because it's so hard to tell what the recipe for success actually is, I hesitate for fear that the advice would end up being counterproductive. So, for what it's worth, and with a grain of salt: I've found that the pattern that is functional for me is a cyclical manic-depression. I come up w…

This sounds about right. Though I've gone through enough self-improvement cycles that my "emotional death spiral" aren't as drastic now - mind you, they still suck and do contrast strongly the feeling and productivity when in the creative energy bursts. The more pieces of life I have figured out the better too. I almost found a permanent counter-balance, a woman, who I thought would end up inspiring me permanently -…

> I almost found a permanent counter-balance, a woman, who I thought would end up inspiring me permanently - though that opportunity never ended up not being possible.

I've been in this trap before; it's a bad idea. A support network is critically important, but don't put a lover on a pedestal to act as your muse. It's murder for a healthy relationship.

Re: Want people to trust you? Try apologising for the rain

#112
post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This sounds about right. Though I've gone through enough self-improvement cycles that my "emotional death spiral" aren't as drastic now - mind you, they still suck and do contrast strongly the feeling and productivity when in the creative energy bursts. The more pieces of life I have figured out the better too. I almost found a permanent counter-balance, a woman, who I thought would end up inspiring me permanently -…

> I almost found a permanent counter-balance, a woman, who I thought would end up inspiring me permanently - though that opportunity never ended up not being possible. I've been in this trap before; it's a bad idea. A support network is critically important, but don't put a lover on a pedestal to act as your muse. It's murder for a healthy relationship.

Nope, I realize that. It wasn't meant for that - it would have just been inspiring enough or rather elevating to have found someone I could start to build deep trust with, but I don't absolutely need that. For now I'm just focusing on building better friendships and relationships in general. Just the thought of having someone I can fully confide into - business wise or otherwise - is appealing.

Re: Want people to trust you? Try apologising for the rain

#114

I had heard people say this about Reagan. He took accountability for things that were arguably out of his control, and people later didn't blame him for things that were. To me the lesson is accepting blame for a problem doesn't just take "Whose fault is this?" off of the table, but it increases the trust in finding a solution.

By "taking accountability" you mean he said he was taking accountability without actually suffering any consequences. That's not taking accountability, that's lying about it. Same with Harry Truman "the buck stops here" -- OK, which of the many terrible things that have happened under your watch are you going to quit over?
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