Live data from Hacker News

A Sick People

householderkarl.com

111–120 of 129 posts

Re: A Sick People

#112

> Every time I leave the US, I’m always struck by how happy other people seem to be. Every time I visit a place I get the impression that people are happier, but it's just an impression based on something you notice and experience for a very short amount of time. You'll see happy and desperate people anywhere, I don't think it has to do with the place. > Actually, I think I say that about everywhere I travel. That's…

Truly fascinating how when you're a tourist in a place that survives off of tourism, you get treated nicely.

[deleted]

Re: A Sick People

#113

I'm American but moved to Europe years ago where I am definitely happier. I like the superstitious idea that the American continent is cursed from the deaths of 55 million native Americans since the discovery of the western hemisphere. I mean, I do t believe it but it does make a good story.

[dead]

Re: A Sick People

#114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who does _very_ related research, I'd push back on your skepticism. I recommend Gilbert's "Stumbling on Happiness". It very accessibly addresses almost every point you raised. In particular, people have very bad intuitions about trauma and loss. Humans are shockingly adaptable and bounce back to full functioning and happiness almost all of the time. Provided you don't have a biased sample (such as people s…

I'm aware of the research on trauma and posttraumatic growth (and have worked with such patients). What I'm referring to are correlations between group-level variables at the level of nations or states. There's a kind of disconnect in that on the one hand, you end up with these models of why disruptive political change happens — because people are deeply dissatisfied and having trouble making ends meet and so forth (…

> there's nothing wrong with traumatic harm or abuse because people are resilient and it doesn't matter to their well-being

I know it's just a throwaway example, but this statement isn't internally inconsistent. Traumatic harm hurts people now, it doesn't need to permanently harm them to be considered immoral.

A very similar knee-jerk often occurs when people learn that parenting has very, very little effect on long-term psychological outcomes for children compared to genetics. But "parenting doesn't matter" is illogical for the same reason. "We may not hold their tomorrows in our hands but we surely hold their todays" - Judith Rich Harris

> correlations between group-level variables at the level of nations or states

Ecological mismatches in trauma harms is what I study, so I'll take the opportunity to shamelessly plug some of my and others' research, maybe you'll find it interesting.

[0] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2027-56641-002 (open at https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/9dpqu) [1] https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/c... [2] https://psycnet.apa.org/manuscript/2022-20702-001.pdf [3] https://dash.harvard.edu/bitstreams/e3528534-da4d-4402-a8b5-...

Re: A Sick People

#115
post #90

I used to travel to the U.S. every year or two for this or that and I always left thinking about just how stressed out I'd be if I had to live there. There's a sense of having to have your "guard up" so much. That someone or something is always out to screw you. That you need gates on your communities. That your kids' school is going to get shot up. That cops might be the enemy. That you'll depend on someone in a mom…

> you need gates on your communities I think that is a cause: if you are gated off in a secure area, you care less about the safety of wider society. You will want to spend less on the police etc. > That your kids' school is going to get shot up. its really not that likely. A kid in the US is far more likely to die on the way to school than get shot at school, but the former is a fear people have adjusted to. The med…

It's not likely, but it happens all the time. It's the only country where it does. And you get things like lockdown drills, kevlar backpacks, and armed teachers as a result. Even if most kids don't experience a school shooting, they still get traumatized from having to think about this stuff from an early age.

Hellish.

Re: A Sick People

#116
post #29

There are millions of happy, good people in America. Grass is always greener. You see novelty when you travel.

About 30% are happy with a Nazi takeover of government with the stated goal of a whiter government and deportation and concentration camps. About 50% are ok with the idea of it if gas and groceries weren't so expensive. 65% if you specifically ask white men. Many of the rest of us are aware of this and worried we won't be allowed to vote our way out of it. If that ends up being the case millions of us might die. Of t…

"47% of Republicans would still vote for Trump even if implicated in Epstein's crimes, survey found" -- https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-epstein-republican-v...

How can you have a coherent society when at least a quarter of the population is certifiably insane?

Re: A Sick People

#117
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m too lazy to go back and find your Biden era bitching and tell you to do the same, but if we all followed your advice the place would be empty.

It wouldn't, because the vast majority of people whining about how terrible the US is and how great it is elsewhere aren't welcome elsewhere because they aren't a net benefit to their community.

[deleted]

Re: A Sick People

#119
post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> you need gates on your communities I think that is a cause: if you are gated off in a secure area, you care less about the safety of wider society. You will want to spend less on the police etc. > That your kids' school is going to get shot up. its really not that likely. A kid in the US is far more likely to die on the way to school than get shot at school, but the former is a fear people have adjusted to. The med…

It's not likely, but it happens all the time . It's the only country where it does. And you get things like lockdown drills, kevlar backpacks, and armed teachers as a result. Even if most kids don't experience a school shooting, they still get traumatized from having to think about this stuff from an early age. Hellish.

Schools in the UK now have lockdown drills.

Re: A Sick People

#120
post #88

I disagree to the maximum extent possible. I have lived in 6 countries. Americans to me are by far most friendly and supportive of new ideas. When you are visiting a place, you see it with rosy eyes. You are not forced to deal with the day to day difficulties of life, the commute, the commitments, the finances, the outrage about politics and so on. So, comparing the harsh reality of 'back home' against an environment…

Completely agree. I've lived - as in truly "lived", having a job, staying at least a full year, and having to do "real life things" - in 3 different countries before coming to the US and Americans are exactly like you said. I always have to laugh at people who form an opinion on other countries based on their "2 week vacation" there.

Both versions of America exist. It’s a massive country with very different social environments throughout. Even driving 15 minutes from one side of a city to another can completely change the vibe from basically heaven to hell.
Post reply on HN