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The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

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Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#111

Post by jpcx01 »

dgabriel wrote: post #48
vaksel wrote: post #24

I think additional part of the problem is that men are starting to realize that they really don't have anything to gain by being married. And they are so afraid of having to go through a divorce that can wipe them out, that they don't feel like trying. I mean a 50% divorce rate in this country, is pretty much a coin toss on whether or not you lose everything. Seriously the only thing to gain by being married is savin…

Do you think that no American women read this site? Or do you think that you are so superior to us that your blanket statements, no matter how ignorant and harmful, are more important than treating us as if we were actual human beings? Do all men stay in shape their whole marriage? Is pettiness always limited to the female partner? Please. I work hard, I have always worked, and every woman I know works (aside from th…

"How dare you"... sounds like something a woman would say

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#112

Post by ardit33 »

miked wrote: post #44

It's been a while since I read his explanation, but an economist -- I believe it was Tim Harford in _The Undercover Economist_, but it may have been Tyler Cowan -- has already solved this, and with a very different answer. Several factors are operating. First, due to a higher death rate among males, the number of women begins to exceed the number of men (of a given age) starting at age 23. Next, there are about 10 ti…

I think the author has never been Silicon Valley. It is a huge sausage fest in here, everywhere. San Jose is called Man Jose for a good reason. Smart and educated girls, that are also cute are rarely single.

I have so many great male friends that are single, and yet I don't know a good looking/smart girl that is single.

This is my major disappointment with the SF Bay Area.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#113

Post by ahoyhere »

wynand wrote: post #79
vaksel wrote: post #24

I think additional part of the problem is that men are starting to realize that they really don't have anything to gain by being married. And they are so afraid of having to go through a divorce that can wipe them out, that they don't feel like trying. I mean a 50% divorce rate in this country, is pretty much a coin toss on whether or not you lose everything. Seriously the only thing to gain by being married is savin…

While we're on anecdotes, I might as well add mine: I was in an almost 4 year relationship. During the last year I thought my girlfriend fit the mold described above perfectly. She was often downright unpleasant in ways that I never was. I don't believe that in every quarrel, both parties are to blame. But in the months after that relationship I realized that I had at least as much of a stake in the pain as she did.…

Big props to you for realizing your part, and having the guts to admit it.

That is the #1 indicator of a valuable human being.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#114

Post by ahoyhere »

vaksel wrote: post #24

I think additional part of the problem is that men are starting to realize that they really don't have anything to gain by being married. And they are so afraid of having to go through a divorce that can wipe them out, that they don't feel like trying. I mean a 50% divorce rate in this country, is pretty much a coin toss on whether or not you lose everything. Seriously the only thing to gain by being married is savin…

I'd like to note that bitching about no-good, do-nothing, deceptive, thieving, bitchy, fat women is like slapping on a sandwichboard sign that reads "Grade Z Beta Male Here!"

Complaining about it on an online forum merely adds a flashing light to this ensemble.

If every one of your friends married a woman like that, then maybe you need better friends. And you should look at yourself, too, because people are typically friends with people of the same social standing as themselves.

I long for a day when more people realize that while you may think that you're waving a flaming sword of righteousness, everybody else understands that such complaining just means you are too weak to do anything to change it.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#115

Post by shiranaihito »

dgabriel wrote: post #74
whacked_new wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I apologize for being unclear and imprecise. Evidence is not the word I should have used. I'm just talking about perspective. What the OP stated was not evidence, and neither did I have that confused. Those were judgments based on Bayesian reasoning. They are efficient and correct, by probability, in his life. I defended him because in asking "how dare you," you seem to think his opinions violate a basic right of dig…

It is difficult to see oneself repeatedly characterized as such without getting one's dander up a bit. My suspicion is that his friends probably love their wives, and he's using their occasional and exaggerated venting to support his weird misogyny. That, or he knows the two unluckiest and easily fooled men in the country.

> It is difficult to see oneself repeatedly characterized as such without getting one's dander up a bit.

No reason or need to take what he said personally. He's speaking of his own experience, and not accusing you of anything.

But now you're saying he's a misogynist. He might take that personally, and for good reason.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#116

Post by time_management »

homme wrote: post #110
vaksel wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I live in NJ, so you being from New York can probably attest to the low quality of marriage material in the area. Not that it doesn't exist, but its more of a needle in a haystack problem. So I find that its easier to date, at least that way when you both grow tired of each other, you don't lose half your stuff in the divorce.

You are dead on about Europe and NJ. Nothing worse than Jersey dumpster diving, especially when you are unaware that is what you are doing. Some friends of mine went to Europe and came back with 10s, all of them. The most shocking thing they told me was that to talk to women there... you don't even have to have anyththing, you can just be you Unfortunately, I learned too late. For all the young college guys out there…

Is Jersey especially bad, compared to the rest of the US?

Out of curiosity, what are your thoughts on the Pacific Northwest?

For all the young college guys out there having a hard time, take heed. You get a dilution hit cashing out now, just hold onto your stock and ride it through. Time is on your side.

Nice way of putting it.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#117

Post by miked »

ardit33 wrote: post #112
miked wrote: post #44

It's been a while since I read his explanation, but an economist -- I believe it was Tim Harford in _The Undercover Economist_, but it may have been Tyler Cowan -- has already solved this, and with a very different answer. Several factors are operating. First, due to a higher death rate among males, the number of women begins to exceed the number of men (of a given age) starting at age 23. Next, there are about 10 ti…

I think the author has never been Silicon Valley. It is a huge sausage fest in here, everywhere. San Jose is called Man Jose for a good reason. Smart and educated girls, that are also cute are rarely single. I have so many great male friends that are single, and yet I don't know a good looking/smart girl that is single. This is my major disappointment with the SF Bay Area.

How things change. Not so many years ago SF was a nightmare for single women, thanks to the city's disproportionate number of gay men. I'm guessing things have evened up a lot.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#118

Post by maxawaytoolong »

miked wrote: post #117
ardit33 wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the author has never been Silicon Valley. It is a huge sausage fest in here, everywhere. San Jose is called Man Jose for a good reason. Smart and educated girls, that are also cute are rarely single. I have so many great male friends that are single, and yet I don't know a good looking/smart girl that is single. This is my major disappointment with the SF Bay Area.

How things change. Not so many years ago SF was a nightmare for single women, thanks to the city's disproportionate number of gay men. I'm guessing things have evened up a lot.

Not so many years ago must mean 20 years ago. It's still a sausage fest and has been since 1997.

It's probably still a nightmare for single women. I can't imagine that a dive bar with a mid-range computer programmer is on the list of a woman's dream dates.

On the other hand, SF is better than the rest of Silicon Valley.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#119

Post by homme »

time_management wrote: post #116
homme wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are dead on about Europe and NJ. Nothing worse than Jersey dumpster diving, especially when you are unaware that is what you are doing. Some friends of mine went to Europe and came back with 10s, all of them. The most shocking thing they told me was that to talk to women there... you don't even have to have anyththing, you can just be you Unfortunately, I learned too late. For all the young college guys out there…

Is Jersey especially bad, compared to the rest of the US? Out of curiosity, what are your thoughts on the Pacific Northwest? For all the young college guys out there having a hard time, take heed. You get a dilution hit cashing out now, just hold onto your stock and ride it through. Time is on your side. Nice way of putting it.

My sampling of Jersey was high school and my early twenties, so I have an especially bad memory of the area.

There was also a completely irrational market and bid up of low quality stuff due to shortages. The attitudes are proportionally high-maintenance. It is a very bad place for a young man to be. Avoid it at all costs. The only place I can think of that could be worse is possibly silicon valley.

As far as the Pacific NW, I don't know much of it and what the prevailing attitudes are. I'm guessing the distance from NY can't be a bad thing and you are more likely to run into females with a more naturalistic, feminine affect. Never been there though, so I am not the man to ask.

I'm dead serious about the dilution hit. Something happens around 30 that suddenly puts you incredibly at ease at the same time that the women are getting more anxious. Also, the younger ones (early 20s) start making themselves more available. I can't tell you how many propositions I have gotten from women who wouldn't look at me once in high school. The funny thing is, when you don't need them, the options keep increasing.

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