Grandparents are glued to their phones [video] • Hacker News Board

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#111

Post by wisty » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:11 PM UTC

antonymoose wrote: post #103

watwut wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It used to be that YOU help elderly parents. And they they are the patriarch ruling familly and his wife at that time. When the grandma did that help with children, it was at her terms - she was the decision maker to large extend. That arrangement is not working from both sides. Younger generation wants autonomy and expects parents to not try to run things, not to demand more contact then they want etc. Which makes s…

It used to be a two way street, actually. The broader family was just that, a unit. Now it’s little independent atomic cells doing whatever with little to no regard for the bigger picture. Ultimatel, it’s the Boomer me generation that broke this tradition. It’s not weird for a millennial to look back and say “How nice of them to have their cake and eat it too” as I raise children alone and deal with the dilemma of ho…

Millenials are the "stereotypical manchild who hates his parents because he's too much like them" generation. (I'm a millenial too)

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#112

Post by SoftTalker » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:12 PM UTC

There's an awful lot of ageism inadvertently on display in these comments.

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#113

Post by anal_reactor » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:20 PM UTC

lencastre wrote: post #93

Sunday, passable weather but still sunny, wonderful river view, restaurant at 50% capacity, outside tables full. In comes grandma and grandpa with granddaughter on a stroller. They sit, he starts smoking, gives a tablet to the granddaughter who goes through the entire meal with that in front, and grandma spends every pause scrolling whatever on her phone. Grandpa switches smoking and feeding himself through the whole…

I just don't like talking to my family so phone addiction becoming more and more acceptable is really helpful here because if I'm just playing on my Steam Deck that counts as family time.

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#114

Post by aucisson_masque » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:24 PM UTC

nomel wrote: post #42

nicbou wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Try Unhook (desktop) and Untrap (iOS). At this point, my YouTube experience is just the channels I subscribe to, and the video player. It reduced my usage to almost zero. I'm not exactly curing cancer, but my media consumption is more moderate and mindful now.

Same thing can be achieved (mostly) by disabling youtube watch and search history. It causes the home page to be blank, and all recommendations under any video are usually from your subscriptions, related your subscriptions, or directly related to the video.

You don't want any recommendation or algorithms at all. This is intended to make you waste time.

If I want to watch a video I go on my subscribed list, check what's new and decide what to watch. Don't need some fancy algorithm to tell me what I should do.

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#115

Post by carlosjobim » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:27 PM UTC

watwut wrote: post #102

antonymoose wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really couldn’t have put it better. When I was a child my grandmother retired and relocated 800 miles to help with my mother with childcare. Why? Because it’s why you do. It’s what all of her family did as far back as anyone could care to remember. This world where your boomer parents retire to a beach house to drink margaritas, smoke designer weed, and play pickleball and ignore their offspring is the real aberratio…

It used to be that YOU help elderly parents. And they they are the patriarch ruling familly and his wife at that time. When the grandma did that help with children, it was at her terms - she was the decision maker to large extend. That arrangement is not working from both sides. Younger generation wants autonomy and expects parents to not try to run things, not to demand more contact then they want etc. Which makes s…

That's not how it was. When the patriarch became too old, he'd give the farm and the "crown" to the eldest son - who would have more physical and mental strength than him.

Thirty or forty year olds in the past wouldn't take any orders from their fathers or mothers. Of course they would help them, as they are family. But the elderly would absolutely have to step aside, and those who were in their prime would call the shots.

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#116

Post by lotsofpulp » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:40 PM UTC

carlosjobim wrote: post #115

watwut wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It used to be that YOU help elderly parents. And they they are the patriarch ruling familly and his wife at that time. When the grandma did that help with children, it was at her terms - she was the decision maker to large extend. That arrangement is not working from both sides. Younger generation wants autonomy and expects parents to not try to run things, not to demand more contact then they want etc. Which makes s…

That's not how it was. When the patriarch became too old, he'd give the farm and the "crown" to the eldest son - who would have more physical and mental strength than him. Thirty or forty year olds in the past wouldn't take any orders from their fathers or mothers. Of course they would help them, as they are family. But the elderly would absolutely have to step aside, and those who were in their prime would call the…

Daughter in laws butting heads with mother in laws (and father in laws) is a story portrayed in many cultures’ popular tv shows/movies. As are parents who own everything on paper, making them the ones with actual power, butting heads with their children.

It is only in the previous 100 years where young people all over the world have the power to support themselves without anyone else’s help, which is why the preference for independence was revealed.

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#117

Post by mitkebes » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:46 PM UTC

watwut wrote: post #102

antonymoose wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really couldn’t have put it better. When I was a child my grandmother retired and relocated 800 miles to help with my mother with childcare. Why? Because it’s why you do. It’s what all of her family did as far back as anyone could care to remember. This world where your boomer parents retire to a beach house to drink margaritas, smoke designer weed, and play pickleball and ignore their offspring is the real aberratio…

It used to be that YOU help elderly parents. And they they are the patriarch ruling familly and his wife at that time. When the grandma did that help with children, it was at her terms - she was the decision maker to large extend. That arrangement is not working from both sides. Younger generation wants autonomy and expects parents to not try to run things, not to demand more contact then they want etc. Which makes s…

People also used to marry younger and have children sooner. When people were getting married and starting to have kids in their teenage years, it meant that new grandparents would only be in their mid-30s or so. That put them in a much better spot to assist with the grandchildren.

Now many people I know are waiting until their 30s to have children, meaning that the grandparents are already 50-60s.

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#118

Post by incompatible » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:55 PM UTC

susam wrote: post #9

Fortunately, I could never get used to the small screens of mobile phones as a serious computing or web browsing device. So my use of my mobile phone is limited to basic tasks like making calls, sending messages, and sometimes, reluctantly typing emails when I don't have a laptop handy. My primary computing and web browsing device remains my laptop, with Emacs and Firefox being my main tools. One thing that does mana…

I'm also such an old PC (Linux) person. However, I'm using the phone more these days, either to read books while I'm out and waiting and have nothing else to do, or to listen to audiobooks while I'm walking or working on menial tasks.

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#119

Post by skissane » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 10:58 PM UTC

antonymoose wrote: post #95

rafaelmn wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> That’s normal and natural and the parents move onto a new phase too. Is it really ? I would say the "natural" way of things is older generation gets supported by children and they help take care of grandchildren while their children are working. The whole late retirement/both parents working situation we have these days is reliably leading to a population collapse.

Really couldn’t have put it better. When I was a child my grandmother retired and relocated 800 miles to help with my mother with childcare. Why? Because it’s why you do. It’s what all of her family did as far back as anyone could care to remember. This world where your boomer parents retire to a beach house to drink margaritas, smoke designer weed, and play pickleball and ignore their offspring is the real aberratio…

I think one thing that has changed-both my parents and my wife’s parents are divorced, which makes things socioemotionally more complicated in terms of grandparental involvement in our children’s lives-it still happens, but I think it involves difficulties which didn’t exist for my own parents and grandparents when I was young, and were it not for those difficulties, it likely would happen more

Both grandparents divorced means you go from two family units involved to four-which in itself adds logistical complexity-and new partners doubles the opportunities for interpersonal conflicts

Re: Grandparents are glued to their phones [video]

#120

Post by carlosjobim » Sun, Mar 15, 2026, 11:11 PM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #116

carlosjobim wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's not how it was. When the patriarch became too old, he'd give the farm and the "crown" to the eldest son - who would have more physical and mental strength than him. Thirty or forty year olds in the past wouldn't take any orders from their fathers or mothers. Of course they would help them, as they are family. But the elderly would absolutely have to step aside, and those who were in their prime would call the…

Daughter in laws butting heads with mother in laws (and father in laws) is a story portrayed in many cultures’ popular tv shows/movies. As are parents who own everything on paper, making them the ones with actual power, butting heads with their children. It is only in the previous 100 years where young people all over the world have the power to support themselves without anyone else’s help, which is why the preferen…

Young people have always had the power to support themselves without anybody's help. That's how life has worked for billions of years now.

It is only very recently that the industrialized world became completely financialized, so that the cost of life has become artificially increased for the youth. Young people have always moved away from their families for marriage, or for becoming sailors, soldiers, miners, hunters, lumber jacks, etc. It was only the oldest son who would inherit anything, so the rest of them wanted to scram as soon as they hit puberty.

Inheritance-baiting your children is the oldest scam in the book, but people weren't complete fools in the past, and wouldn't stick around if the old folks went too far. A lot of head-butting between generations and in-family as you mention.