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Nine things I learned in ninety years

edwardpackard.com

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Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#111

Post by squigz »

aaronax wrote: post #96
sarabande wrote: post #90

I enjoyed this piece, including references to the Stoics and Spinoza. It preaches serenity, goodwill, composure, etc. As someone in their 30s with children, work and a generally busy life, I wonder if anyone can recommend some pieces with more direct application - that is, in this vein, but perhaps an operational / how-to guide. Sometimes, it's hard to translate principles to action.

https://www.onedayyoullfindyourself.com/

There's some fairly strange and dated advice in here, like entering a door before a woman being impolite (unless it's a revolving door; those require strength, which women do not have?) or being emasculated by shaking hands while sitting down?

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#112

Post by tenahu »

shark1 wrote: post #59

> "...happiness to become one’s default state of mind." I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times. You cannot be happy all the time, the fact of being unhappy sometimes is what drives you self-reflect and to chase meaning to your life. To feel pleasure you need to feel some pain.

I think that depends on how you interpret "happiness to become one’s default state of mind."

I think feeling happy is my default. I still get mad, hurt, sad, bored, etc. But when those feelings wear away, I return to a general state of happy contentment.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#113

Post by peepee1982 »

zwnow wrote: post #32
peepee1982 wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're confusing kindness with being a pushover. You can be kind and self-respecting at the same time. Your last two comments here make me suspect you suffer from some kind of traumatic abuse you haven't had the chance to poperly recover from yet.

I gave up on humans and this system. There are no good experiences to be made with others. Everything is a transaction nowadays and there is no altruism. Believe it or not, I am an altruist because I dont care anymore. I dont expect anything from anyone, I dont strive to be happy because its impossible to be happy with the current state of the world (at least im not ignorant enough to try and be happy). I am nice to…

I understand your perspective, but it's narrowly focused on the ugly parts of life.

I agree that the capitalist system is sickening and that people are too complacent in general. But the fact that you think there are no good experiences to be had with other people because everything is transactional is alarming and a sign that you lack a healthy network of friends, allies, and lived cameraderie.

By the way, being nice is not altruistic. It's something you do to avoid conflict. If overdone it will erode your sense of self.

I think your gut feeling is spot on, but your response to it is maladaptive. If you want to feel joy in life again, get involved with people who acknowledge that the system itself is broken and who strive for revolution, so you can join them in your common goal and feel a purpose in life again. Those people usually also know how to party and cook great food in my experience.

Your suicidal ideations are not a sign that people suck, but that you need to find yours.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#114

Post by vladms »

ropable wrote: post #36

> what an outsized role is played by luck This speaks to me. So much of our life circumstances are beyond our control (parents, genetics, geography, society, wider economy, etc.) It's humbling, how much of our success or failure is influenced by pure chance.

While strictly true, I wonder what does this sentence generates in the minds of the readers.

I personally would prefer other formulations, because while I agree with the core, I think this idea should just reduce frustration if you don't succeed, while I am afraid it can be used as an excuse for not trying.

Yes, you need luck, but if you never get out of your room/street/neighborhood/city/country, you might have less opportunities for luck than otherwise.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#115

Post by ayongpm »

biofox wrote: post #102
ayongpm wrote: post #101

What a beautiful writing. I can't resist the urge to typeset it: https://typst.app/project/p5Ivi8TSuNmFpkoSfoJ06r PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GV-yxI4sBS5gg4belO6hXuFvSFW...

"Error: You do not have sufficient permissions to access this project." :(

That's weird, I can view using incognito :(

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#116

Post by bobotowned »

vladms wrote: post #114
ropable wrote: post #36

> what an outsized role is played by luck This speaks to me. So much of our life circumstances are beyond our control (parents, genetics, geography, society, wider economy, etc.) It's humbling, how much of our success or failure is influenced by pure chance.

While strictly true, I wonder what does this sentence generates in the minds of the readers. I personally would prefer other formulations, because while I agree with the core, I think this idea should just reduce frustration if you don't succeed, while I am afraid it can be used as an excuse for not trying. Yes, you need luck, but if you never get out of your room/street/neighborhood/city/country, you might have less…

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and return it to your safe

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#117

Post by tirant »

a_c wrote: post #21

It is the simple things that is the hardest. If anything, having children revealed many of the mentioned. To me, having children is enlightenment

I fully agree. It gives also a sense of impact in the world that might span over centuries or even longer.

Sometimes I joke about the simple concept that we are all the descendants of a chain of ascendants that manage to successfully reproduce and have children without interruption, through all the evolutionary stages, from homo sapiens to hominids, monkeys, mammals until reaching the first life organisms. And I am not going to be the one stopping that long evolutionary chain ;)

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#118

Post by larksimian »

a_bonobo wrote: post #104

>Once you’ve achieved that — once you are virtuously selfconstituted — you will be self-assured and have reason to be so. You will be emotionally invulnerable to being pushed around. I don't feel that's true? I am currently in a massive turmoil at work because my line-manager is breaking all ethics rules, with higher leadership caring little. Because I try to follow my values I've spoken up numerous times and all I g…

I was thinking along parallel lines. If you have fuck-you money then sure: you just leave when asked to do something imoral. But if you are materially dependent on the job then you have battling imperatives that will stress you.

The first thought that popped into my head here was, "well I have no kids, so yeah if forced to choose between job and morality I'd just bounce and figure it out later". But if I DID have dependents it's harder.

I will say if the choice is between being imoral and _personally_ poor ... I'd like to think I'd rather just be poor.

edit. Then again this is also on us as people to anticipate and prepare for these dilemmas and not let ourselves be trapped in toxic situations. I suck at this and don't do any real forward planning like having a lot of savings or having a backup plan to getting out of a bad job. But that's on me.

Hope it works out alright for you!

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#119

Post by cindyllm »

peepee1982 wrote: post #113
zwnow wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I gave up on humans and this system. There are no good experiences to be made with others. Everything is a transaction nowadays and there is no altruism. Believe it or not, I am an altruist because I dont care anymore. I dont expect anything from anyone, I dont strive to be happy because its impossible to be happy with the current state of the world (at least im not ignorant enough to try and be happy). I am nice to…

I understand your perspective, but it's narrowly focused on the ugly parts of life. I agree that the capitalist system is sickening and that people are too complacent in general. But the fact that you think there are no good experiences to be had with other people because everything is transactional is alarming and a sign that you lack a healthy network of friends, allies, and lived cameraderie. By the way, being nic…

[dead]

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#120

Post by goshx »

aaronax wrote: post #96
sarabande wrote: post #90

I enjoyed this piece, including references to the Stoics and Spinoza. It preaches serenity, goodwill, composure, etc. As someone in their 30s with children, work and a generally busy life, I wonder if anyone can recommend some pieces with more direct application - that is, in this vein, but perhaps an operational / how-to guide. Sometimes, it's hard to translate principles to action.

https://www.onedayyoullfindyourself.com/

Thanks for sharing this.
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