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30 minutes with a stranger

pudding.cool

111–120 of 406 posts

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> loneliness is a perceptual phenomenon that represents a paradoxical component; it is not mitigated through proximity to others It might be better described as alienation. Then we can fit it into Hannah Arendt's theory of fascism being caused by alienation. In the modern world, that alienation is accelerated by social media and cost of living for those without assets, who pay the cost of inflation without benefiting…

Bearded German philosopher was right once again.

Famously bearded philosopher Hannah Arendt? There's an Arendt/aren't joke in there somewhere.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#112
post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with 99.9% of what you wrote. It’s presented very clearly. We are social animals even if we don’t like to admit it. A while ago I would say I agree 100%, but more recently I learned that ads have value. Therefore i can’t agree with the final sentence in this post. It’s not easy to recognize but I’d like to try to share how I see it now. Any time you think or say one of these things, it means that someone did…

The way ads are run these days is almost completely wrong! - Lies are ok - Thrusting your product in a users face, doesn't care if the user cares, Just because I like golfing, doesn't mean every new golf ball brand needs to hit me up all the time. - Product with Money wins, not necessarily the right product - Most people are oblivious to their psychological drivers, Ad makers have learnt to exploit those to drive sal…

One of the best examples of your second point is that tweet that went something like "I bought a toilet seat and now I'm getting ads for toilet seats everywhere I go". It's annoying and not even productive for the advertiser.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#113

I'm increasingly convinced that social isolation is the single great social ill of our time. I am not one for "respecting others' opinions" at all, make no mistakes, if someone believes something incorrect - or worse - then they need to be corrected. But so much of the hate simmering away like a pot about to boil over is the result of loneliness. The evidence on this is startingly clear. https://www.sciencedirect.com…

> loneliness is a perceptual phenomenon that represents a paradoxical component; it is not mitigated through proximity to others It might be better described as alienation. Then we can fit it into Hannah Arendt's theory of fascism being caused by alienation. In the modern world, that alienation is accelerated by social media and cost of living for those without assets, who pay the cost of inflation without benefiting…

To me, alienation is philosopher's toy and they like to put what they don't like behind that word. It's been mostly used by Marxist philosophers rediscovering the "young Marx" to deal with the fact that the workers actually didn't seem that interested in a socialist revolution anymore (they have false consciousness !)

I am not saying this to invalidate what you are saying but would you care to explain how you think the problem described by parent (richer societies allow for more alone time thus loneliness) is better described by Arendt's concept of alienation ?

> In the modern world [...] Is it any surprise?

To me you are just describing a poverty and ideological tribalism but that still doesn't tell me what Arendt can do for us here

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#115
It's the internet. When you talk to people online, it often descends into pettiness. When you talk to people in the real world, that rarely happens. But it's much easier to talk online, so people get the wrong impression.

You should talk to strangers. It's never gone wrong for me. Most people have a warmth and agreeableness that comes out when you are there with them, talking about stuff. There's also the interesting effect that people will give you their innermost secrets, knowing you won't tell anyone (I actually met a serial killer who did this, heh). For instance I was on a long haul flight earlier this year, and my neighbour told me everything about her divorce. Like a kind of therapy.

I also find when I have a real disagreement with someone, it's a lot easier when you're face-to-face. For instance, I have friends who are religious, in a real way, ie they actually think there's a god who created the earth and wants us to live a certain way. Being there in person keeps me from ridiculing them like I might on an internet forum, but it also keeps them from condemning me to hell.

So folks, practice talking to people. Much of what's wrong in the current world is actually loneliness, having no outlet for your expressions.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#116
post #49

I'm increasingly convinced that social isolation is the single great social ill of our time. I am not one for "respecting others' opinions" at all, make no mistakes, if someone believes something incorrect - or worse - then they need to be corrected. But so much of the hate simmering away like a pot about to boil over is the result of loneliness. The evidence on this is startingly clear. https://www.sciencedirect.com…

It's not just loneliness, it's that by being isolated you can make sweeping generalizations about other people, and fall for the hatefull narative. When you actually and honestly communicate with people different than you, and are able yo understand them, you stop feeling that simplistic hate for them.

This goes for other stuff as well, like if you're "ungrounded" by not actually observing/communicating with the thing you're judging, you can kind of just make up the perfect villain in your head and hate that

I guess same thing would go for extreme fears, like, you are so scared of something that you get even more scared of it because you know it's the scariest thing in the world, until you actually meet the thing you're scared of

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#117
post #64
post #34

One of the problems with their "better / worse" statistics: Bad interactions tend to outweigh good interactions. I think the rule of thumb is that 4:1 good/bad ratio in a relationship is "breakeven" where the relationship will stay neutral; higher than that and things get better, lower than that and things go south. So if you could talk to a stranger, and there's only a 20% chance you'll feel worse, a lot of people w…

Yes, we tend to remember negative experiences better than the good ones. Also, we all are so low on good emotions, we don't want to risk losing them to random strangers.

This hits deep.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#118

On a site designed like this where I tend to not notice the scroll bar, I usually just click on the things I see to try and make something happen. In this case, not much happens from clicks (because the site desperately needs a graphic to encourage you to scroll), so I quickly lose interest and bail.

I don’t really understand this viewpoint - scrolling has always been the default way to see more content on a webpage. Clicking on things to navigate is very much a secondary activity. Why would you not scroll every web page to see if there is more content that didn’t fit on your screen?

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would like to do that but I live in Sweden, talking to stranger is considered rude. you all sound like a lovely bunch. is this a modern thing?

Not who you asked, but no, old ingrained cultural thing! The trick is to trick us into not realising we are interacting, then we are quite friendly and polite :)

> The trick is to trick us into not realising we are interacting, then we are quite friendly and polite :)

i dont think you can be friendly and ALSO dislike talking to strangers. I think thats what it means to be friendly, or at least its a necessary component of it

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#120
UI Feedback - I was having trouble figuring out what to do with the website, possibly due to the lack of text. I was tapping everywhere just to find the interactive areas (invisible buttons: who invented flat UI without shadows to hide all the interactivity?), and it took me some time to realize the website was scrollable (invisible scroll bars: who thought hiding the scrollbars without any indication of scrollable content was a good idea?). These issues are typically not the fault of the website, but rather the general UI/UX trends we have accepted nowadays. I’m using Firefox on Android.

Regarding social media - it has created more gaps rather than making us more social. It's ultimate goal is to capture our attention for as long as possible rather than connecting us. And lately, with the celebrities populating it, it has become a showoff/bragging machine.

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