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All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

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Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#111

Post by aswanson »

selecsosi wrote: post #15

IME the gap in management between ICs is accountability. It's easy to say you are sorry, or say things won't happen again but good management, and what I strive to do is hold myself accountable. To me, that means 1. To identify the issue that occurred (especially when you caused it), and much more importantly, 2. Put systems into place that prevent it from happening again. Employees can feel very clearly when a manag…

A chief source of management missteps I've seen is not talking to people and just making consequential decisions because they think a jira board gives them insight.

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#112

Post by neilv »

BubbleRings wrote: post #37
giancarlostoro wrote: post #7

I think this goes for Engineers as well. In fact, I say the biggest skill I want from a SENIOR developer regardless of years of experience is humility. Someone who "cannot do wrong" and is a toxic about it will poison the rest of the team with their toxicity. But the seniors who are more open to feedback even from Junior developers, those are the ones everyone else follows to hell and back because they're there with…

One thing I watched closely for in interviews is the moment when an applicant said “I don’t know.” I have not had great experiences with tech co-workers who are incapable of saying that.

Every time someone mentions a good idea for interviews, I imagine the interview prep people adding it to the standard performance ritual. Then the signal is lost for the needle in a haystack who actually embodies what you sought to find.

With how ridiculously performative and disingenuous the techbro interviews have become, if we don't want to play that game, we have to keep some signal unspoken.

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#114

Post by vjvjvjvjghv »

bigmattystyles wrote: post #91

The worst mistakes to acknowledge and remedy for me have always been bad hiring. I’ve always been in the camp of ‘I can make this person work well’ but I’ve found myself questioning this approach. As my team has grown, bad fits are taxing. And it also is on other team members. I’ve shifted from doing ‘the right thing’ by giving people many chances before escalating to PIP, decided that I am just making it tough on my…

I also used to think that you can coach people into becoming good performers. But experience has taught me that teams are more productive by magnitudes if everybody gets along and trusts each other. Even one bad performer can have a huge negative impact.

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#115

Post by johngalt »

a3w wrote: post #73
selecsosi wrote: post #15

IME the gap in management between ICs is accountability. It's easy to say you are sorry, or say things won't happen again but good management, and what I strive to do is hold myself accountable. To me, that means 1. To identify the issue that occurred (especially when you caused it), and much more importantly, 2. Put systems into place that prevent it from happening again. Employees can feel very clearly when a manag…

Will a manager that acknowledges his/her/their mistakes get promoted as frequently, as if when downplaying them?

Probably not, but some games it is better to lose.

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#116

Post by couchdb_ouchdb »

I've tried do this a couple of times in the last year, but it always seems to backfire, specifically with Gen Z. After I apologize, they seem to think of it as an opening to continue to shit on me and bring up more of my shortcomings -- which is just bizarre to me. Because of this, it's made me really second guess acknowledging when I think I've made a mistake.

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#117

Post by fifilura »

couchdb_ouchdb wrote: post #116

I've tried do this a couple of times in the last year, but it always seems to backfire, specifically with Gen Z. After I apologize, they seem to think of it as an opening to continue to shit on me and bring up more of my shortcomings -- which is just bizarre to me. Because of this, it's made me really second guess acknowledging when I think I've made a mistake.

You will have to lead.

The alternative is a race to the bottom.

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#118

Post by richardlblair »

biomcgary wrote: post #97
richardlblair wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The book referenced is not wrong, but it is too narrow. Repair isn't the core attribute of parenting. It's the core attribute of human relationships. This is generally accepted as common knowledge - it's not about the rupture, it's about the repair. Good for you if you consider yourself so emotionally detached from work that you can let go of the fact that work relationships are still human relationships. However, yo…

The language around emotion often obscures the underlying reality that needs to be addressed. Emotions are the physiological manifestations of expectations and desires. (Emotion is etymologically related to motive.) The person your responding to clearly has a desire to do productive work with minimal roadblocks. In one person the roadblock to that desire/expectation might manifest physiologically as depression, in an…

Im curious, mostly for the sake of conversation, what emotional resolution looks like for you?

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#119

Post by richardlblair »

ThalesX wrote: post #92
richardlblair wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The book referenced is not wrong, but it is too narrow. Repair isn't the core attribute of parenting. It's the core attribute of human relationships. This is generally accepted as common knowledge - it's not about the rupture, it's about the repair. Good for you if you consider yourself so emotionally detached from work that you can let go of the fact that work relationships are still human relationships. However, yo…

> Good for you if you consider yourself so emotionally detached from work I am not. I enjoy doing great work and take pride in it. > that you can let go of the fact that work relationships are still human relationships. They are. And I get along with some people, and not as great with other people. But the people I get along with I go out usually, outside of work, whereas the ones I don't particularly vibe with are j…

I obviously don't know you, so take my last paragraph with a grain of salt. All I can do is relate what you wrote and my interpretation of it with my knowledge and experience.

Although, I don't make comment about whether you're getting your emotional needs met outside of work. I'm glad that you do - a lot of people out there aren't, and they are feeling really lonely.

Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair

#120

Post by ToDougie »

a3w wrote: post #73
selecsosi wrote: post #15

IME the gap in management between ICs is accountability. It's easy to say you are sorry, or say things won't happen again but good management, and what I strive to do is hold myself accountable. To me, that means 1. To identify the issue that occurred (especially when you caused it), and much more importantly, 2. Put systems into place that prevent it from happening again. Employees can feel very clearly when a manag…

Will a manager that acknowledges his/her/their mistakes get promoted as frequently, as if when downplaying them?

I haven't seen it. What I have seen is the folks who lie and steal get promoted -- they all seem to be in a big club together. Blatant stealing, too. Here's an example: my team created a new product to address a time-constrained market opportunity. We basically did 99% of the work that two teams would normally do. A VP for those two teams then gets on stage and gives an award to his two teams for doing 100% of the work. My team is given no credit or mention.

Another VP gave an award to one of his teams for implementing a company-wide system. His team was actually one of the last adopters of the system that my team identified, implemented, refined, and delivered.

Anyways, they are running two different companies now.

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