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Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

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Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#111

Post by teekert »

hakuseki wrote: post #95
teekert wrote: post #89

Screw getting bored and “fixing” it with a screen. I’ve been seeing a new trend: Parents with kids on the backs of their bikes (something everyone does here, but now) with the kids glued to a screen… So, instead of learning (without getting bored at all!) about the reality that they are one day going to have to navigate by themselves, they watch some cartoon, blaring annoying audio to people around them in the proces…

In what sense is looking at a screen a failure to prepare for the world that adults navigate? Adults also look at screens.

It’s a huge missed opportunity for the developing brain to learn about the world, its sights, its sounds, its interactions, its physics, its rules. Everything.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#112

Post by teekert »

watwut wrote: post #96
teekert wrote: post #89

Screw getting bored and “fixing” it with a screen. I’ve been seeing a new trend: Parents with kids on the backs of their bikes (something everyone does here, but now) with the kids glued to a screen… So, instead of learning (without getting bored at all!) about the reality that they are one day going to have to navigate by themselves, they watch some cartoon, blaring annoying audio to people around them in the proces…

700th bike trip to preschool or school is not teaching kids all that much.

So, we make them myopic and teach them that boredom is battles with a screen?

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#113

Post by mft_ »

watwut wrote: post #91
mft_ wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I agree with your overall point, it's also worth asking where the desire for a new belonging comes from. There may be more obvious stimuli like established hobbies, or peer pressure, but ultimately a lot of the desire for a new belonging is likely driven by marketing from the companies selling it.

Kids always wanted to have what other kids have, you do not need special marketing for that. It is just how human psychology works. Likewise, kids always wanted what they seen adults to have (phones). And kids who have seen marketing to find nintendo or tv fun. If they seen it in their friends house, they found it fun.

> Kids always wanted to have what other kids have, you do not need special marketing for that.

And yet, much money is spent marketing things to children. What a waste this must be!

> Likewise, kids always wanted what they seen adults to have (phones).

While a mobile phone may be a simple and useful (even vital) tool, huge amounts of money is spent on marketing to drive desires for particular brands, or new models/features. This influences adults, and also probably children in turn.

> If they seen it in their friends house, they found it fun.

So where did those kids discover or get the desire for the item? And/or where did their parents get the idea to buy it for them? Why (e.g.) Playstation rather than Nintendo, or vice versa? At some point, it likely tracks back to marketing, creating the desire.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#114

Post by svantana »

taneq wrote: post #84
skrebbel wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m a geek. My kids are geeks. To not provide them access to a computer because there’s bad addictive things on computers is like not teaching kids to read because there’s harmful books. In reality, things are never so black and white. When I tell my kids “no youtube, no gaming, but you’re allowed to use Scratch” there’s a risk they’re just browse scratch’s endless catalog of games made by others, plenty of which are…

Cue the Penny Arcade strip about screen time.

I mean, it's a bit like saying: "why is cocaine illegal but not glue sniffing? It's even worse for your health". Yes, but it's not as much fun, so in practice not a big problem. If a kid refused to go outside due to their pen-and-paper addiction, then that would need to be limited as well.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#115

Post by mihaaly »

i5heu wrote: post #38

This article is not about "allowing" kids to be bored. It is to force kids to spend their time like this person that has a romanticized view of their childhood wants them to fill "the void".

I believe there is a point there, we live in a society where we must be entertained well! Not being entertained is shame. Allowing is fine enough word here I believe.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#116

Post by m_fayer »

xkbarkar wrote: post #47

I feel the destructive behaviour of bored kids is forgotten a bit. Growing up in the late 70s early 80s we were kicked out of the house until dinner. We did a lot of really dangerous things exploring. Among these, -Playing in storm drains. Inside the narrow tunnels I might add. -Abandoned construction sites. -Railway tracks. Putting things o the rails waiting for the train to see what happened. Everything from rocks…

Some of those things are terrible and dangerous to others. But parents need to be so much more measured in their responses.

Yes, you find out your kid was throwing stuff off bridges or being a vile bully, you come down like a pile of bricks.

But that doesn’t mean a full safety-rail environment. That means kids will jump off high places and break into others and we slap them on the wrist and carry on. That means lots of broken bones and the very occasional tragedy. Because a whole generation prone to mental illness and incapable of autonomy is infinitely worse. I think we’ve learned that by now.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#117

Post by imp0cat »

JR1427 wrote: post #44
Refusing23 wrote: post #9

When my kid is bored he eventually figures out something to do. if he gets less tv or whatever, for a period, he gets deeply invested in lego or drawing or similar

I'm not saying its evil or anything, but on demand TV is IMO not a good thing for kids. It can be a real battle to get my daughter away from Bluey. Back in my day, we had to wait at least a day for the next episode, or often a week, or more! TV was actually "seasonal", which it no longer is. I firmly believe that humans need seasons, i.e. periods of time that are different from each other, either summer, winter etc,…

Understood, it can be a real battle to get myself away from Bluey. :)

I find that setting (and enforcing!) a limit works great though. Play X episodes a day, the turn the TV off.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#118

Post by jbstack »

watwut wrote: post #96
teekert wrote: post #89

Screw getting bored and “fixing” it with a screen. I’ve been seeing a new trend: Parents with kids on the backs of their bikes (something everyone does here, but now) with the kids glued to a screen… So, instead of learning (without getting bored at all!) about the reality that they are one day going to have to navigate by themselves, they watch some cartoon, blaring annoying audio to people around them in the proces…

700th bike trip to preschool or school is not teaching kids all that much.

Yes it is. It's teaching the skill of being able to cope with mundane routine without mindless phone scrolling as a distraction. This is the whole point of OP's linked article.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#119

Post by coldtea »

dolmen wrote: post #75
coldtea wrote: post #51

That we need an expert to understand that (and other trivial things) is a failure of common sense

OK, but the hard part is for care givers to overcome the period where the kid bothers the adults about his boredom. Screens are a so simple solution. And it's so hard to block them. https://www.3-6-9-12.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/flyer-ap...

Maybe hooking them to opium would help /s

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#120

Post by dchftcs »

ricketyricky wrote: post #57
xkbarkar wrote: post #47

I feel the destructive behaviour of bored kids is forgotten a bit. Growing up in the late 70s early 80s we were kicked out of the house until dinner. We did a lot of really dangerous things exploring. Among these, -Playing in storm drains. Inside the narrow tunnels I might add. -Abandoned construction sites. -Railway tracks. Putting things o the rails waiting for the train to see what happened. Everything from rocks…

Ehem - sounds like a normal childhood? Compare that to the sheltered, all-wishes-granted and no minute spent w/o distractions like social media, kids. Started with Gen Z who get all angsty, with panic attacks, when they have to start performing, i.e., during final exams and the like. And never learned to deal with emotions and free-floating thoughts, handling themself, keeping calm. (all observed from multiple cowork…

You can learn to take good risks and handle hardship without taking stupid unnecessary risks. One important life lesson is that the only risks worth taking are those that offer corresponding upside - else the expected outcome is ruin. Education wise this means you give them necessary or low-impact risks to take - and let them endure outcomes such as failing a difficult but important project, failing to find love, losing a basketball match, or losing friendships. Of course, sometimes you may need to do something even if there is no upside for yourself directly, but that is outside the scope of this topic.
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